Things aren't going so great for the heroes of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Not only have terrifying new breeds of dinosaurs taken over Isla Nublar, but all of the creatures must be removed from the island, thanks to a massive volcano that's about to erupt. Add to this some bad guys threatening the entire planet, and Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) and Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) have their work cut out for them. (And, hopefully, workers' comp.)
In the spirit of keeping those rascally lizards from chasing their human protectors down for lunch — they have enough problems already — we dug through the Kitchn archives to find meals suitable for hungry prehistoric beasts. And since the Instant Pot is the cooking tool of the moment, why not offer them a delicious, slow-cooked feast they can easily squeeze their snouts into?
Here's the meal we think each dinosaur would enjoy, whether carnivore, herbivore, or eat-anything-in-sight-ivore.
Tyrannosaurus Rex: Hawaiian Brisket Sandwiches
With chompers like that, it's not surprising that T-Rex loves meat — and lots of it. Let's really give him something to chew on with this sammy stuffed with beef brisket and sweet pineapple. Plus, the tropical flavors will make him feel right at home.
Mosasaurus: Poached Salmon
These shark-like aquatic lizards ruled the sea, feasting on all manner of fish. Why wouldn't they love a moist, flavorful salmon lovingly prepared with fresh herbs?
Velociraptor: Chicken Piccata
Small but nasty-as-hell — just ask the residents of Jurassic Park — the velociraptor ate smaller animals like lizards, early mammals, and small baby dinosaurs (what a jerk!). This classic Italian chicken preparation should have him licking his nasty little claws.
Pteranodon: Tuna Noodle Casserole
This shrieking flying beast had no teeth, but used its long pointed beak to scoop up fish. Let's keep things nice and soft for the winged terror with this updated take on a homespun favorite.
Triceratops: Braised Cabbage
Just because they don't eat meat doesn't mean that the three-horned triceratops deserves a less-than-succulent meal. This sweet and spicy dish is short on beef but big on flavor — perfect for the modern herbivore on the go.