This Hero Made Himself a Boyfriend Out of Boxed Wine Cartons

This Hero Made Himself a Boyfriend Out of Boxed Wine Cartons

Elizabeth Licata
Feb 28, 2018

The internet has an unexpected new hero, thanks to one brave designer who took DIY to a whole new level and made himself a boyfriend out of boxes of wine, and it's hilarious.

Writer and artist Michael James Schneider lives in Portland, Oregon, where he has an amazing apartment, but apparently he does not have a boyfriend. So this week he took to Twitter and wrote that he'd solved the problem.

"I do not have a boyfriend so I made one out of boxes of wine," he wrote, alongside a series of photos of himself with his new cardboard paramour doing romantic couple things together.

Schneider's new boyfriend has a box of House Wine for a face, a classic Franzia red for a chest, a classy Black Box Cabernet Sauvignon for a midsection, and several boxes from Bota Box for arms and legs. Schneider must have an encyclopedic knowledge of boxed wine.

In addition to having broad shoulders and a wine box for a face, the wine boyfriend even appears to be articulated! Schneider shared a number of photos of himself with his new wine-box boyfriend. They made pasta sauce at home, they went grocery shopping together, took a romantic photo in front of some flowers, and enjoyed breakfast in bed together with the newspaper and a cat.

Schneider is a genius. Everybody loves this. Schneider's Tweet has been liked more than 47,000 times and retweeted nearly 11,000 times in just one day.

The grocery store photo is my favorite, because can you just imagine all the people at the store wondering what was going on? And they both really seem to be considering the nutritional information on that box of focaccia crackers in a way that is extremely relatable.

"Will this be good? Is there too much sugar? Will these go with red wine, of which we clearly have a lot?" they seem to be thinking. I might be anthropomorphizing the wine boyfriend too much, but I love this. Schneider and his wine-box boyfriend are my new favorite celebrity couple.

Follow Michael on the Internet: Instagram and Twitter

What do you think of Schneider's DIY boyfriend project?

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