Some Geniuses Installed a Bacon Vending Machine on a College Campus

Joseph Lamour
Joseph Lamour
Joseph is an accomplished writer, arts multi-hyphenate, and prodigious snacker. Ever the creative, Joe hopes to combine his love of writing and the arts with his deep love of food, particularly dishes and traditions inspired by his Haitian heritage.
published Dec 11, 2018
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(Image credit: Joe Lingeman)

It looks like that Milky Way sitting in the vending machine at work is getting some sizzling competition.

Ohio local news station 10TV reports that Ohio State University students can now spend their parents’ hard-earned money on a little brain fuel. A bacon-vending machine, created by the Ohio Pork Council, has been installed in the animal sciences building at Ohio State University. It will be maintained by the meat science department (side note: why didn’t I major in this?!).

“The Ohio Pork Council has installed a bacon vending machine in the university’s animal science building at the College Of Food, Agricultural And Environmental Sciences,” reports WTHR on their website. The machine, which I’m shocked took so long for someone to come up with, offers cooked bacon strips and bacon bits for $1. You guys, IT’S ONLY ONE DOLLAR!

Brands include Hormel, Sugardale and Smithfield, which were donated to the college for the machine, in an act of porky benevolence. Profits benefit OSU’s meat science department, and the bacon benefits everyone, frankly.

Ohio State University is really thinking here, since a protein boost has many uses on campus, from between-class snack, to late-night study fuel, to hangover cure. Anyone who has been hungover just knows that a nice hearty meal is the key to a good recovery, and the bacon here would be so easy to get. And though most students in college aren’t supposed to be hungover, almost all of us who went to college can probably assume it’s exactly what these students are using this bacon for (sorry, mom).

According to AP, OSU senior Sarah Page, who studies meat science (an inspiration), says “the bacon vending machine at the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences has turned out to be even more popular than expected” and has to be restocked four or five times a day. I bet that building smells fantastic.

I’m not too prideful a man to admit that I’m jealous of these OSU students, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if there’s a Maryland Pork Council to lobby for my own bacon vending machine. I want one to put in my living room.