Why Snow Peas Are Like Ben Affleck in a Tracksuit

published Jun 18, 2015
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(Image credit: Christine Gallary)

I don’t hold many grudges against vegetables; some might be a little weird, some a little slimy, but all in all, they each have their culinary place. That said, I’m still a little confused by a rather standard find in most stir-fry dishes: the snow pea.

They’re just so, well, let’s put it this way — they’re like Ben Affleck in a tracksuit.

Wait, what? Yeah, you heard me — Ben Affleck in a tracksuit. Let’s break it down, shall we? You have the ruggedly handsome Ben, with his Boston accent, lookin’ oh-so-fine. Now, more often than not, you also get his love for the two-piece tracksuit. Seriously, just Google image search that for a second. It’s okay I’ll wait — see, told you! I’d like to think they’re all just scenes from the movie, The Town, but alas, it’s just his go-to apparel.

So what do we know about the tracksuit?

  1. It’s comfortable.
  2. The equivalent of man yoga pants; don’t offer much in terms of fashion.
  3. Dress it up, dress it down — it’s still a tracksuit.
  4. The material, although comfortable, is thick and heavy.
  5. Often worn on laundry day when other clothing options are unavailable.

And what do we know about snow peas?

  1. Versatile in many Asian dishes.
  2. Often “ingredient filler” to bulk up a dish.
  3. The shell is tough and fibrous with little taste.
  4. The inside pea itself is unripe.
  5. They make me excited for peas and then they taste like anything but!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of garden peas and even a sugar snap pea where you also eat the pod, but aside from that, there aren’t too many vegetables out there where we consume the ingredient before it’s ripe and are mainly eating it for its husk or shell. In my opinion, the snow pea is that filler you throw in to bulk up a dish. Sure, it has vitamins and nutrients to it, but what vegetable doesn’t?

I’ll be spending my time eating something that has a bit more taste to it. Sorry, Ben — your heavy, thick Boston staple and its vegetable equivalent will be left out of my home and kitchen. (You’ll still be in my dreams, though.)