What to Eat While Watching Orange is the New Black
June 12th marked the long-awaited return of Orange is the New Black. Whether you’re currently binge-watching the entire second season (maybe you’ve already finished?), or are taking your sweet time on Netflix, you’ve got options for dinner while catching up on the gossip of Litchfield Correctional Facility. Will Chapman make it out alive? Will Red rise to the top again? Only a homemade meal will see you through the drama.
The food might not always be the best at Litchfield, but the cafeteria is a source of power. If you get on the bad side of Red or Gloria, you just might find yourself very hungry. But just because OITNB might not have the best looking food, it doesn’t mean you have to eat like that. Keep dinner hearty, simple, and just a tad spicy.
I’ve organized this meal guide by inmate. Larry, Healy, and the other guards didn’t make the cut. Sorry, not sorry. Pick your favorite inmate! Whether you identify with Alex Vause or really wish you has Sophia Burset’s hair, here’s what you should cook.
In the second episode of season one, Vause offers Chapman a peace offering in the form of a cube of cornbread. Even though Chapman is starving, she refuses to eat it, but that doesn’t mean you need to pass. If you love Vause’s smooth, cool attitude make a skillet full of cornbread and some vegetarian chili.
Galina “Red” Reznikov
Sophia might be the classiest lady in prison. She might have a rough life out of prison with her son, but everyone in prison respects her (or at least loves the salon she runs). Keep dinner elegant by starting with this asparagus and prosciutto crostini and then making this mustard-glazed salmon for the entree.
Tasha ‘Taystee’ Jefferson
Taystee has had it hard. Her mom comes back in the picture in season two, and everyone is unsure how to feel about the situation. You need something comforting and totally delicious to honor this powerhouse of an inmate. The answer? Make a funfetti cake. Just do it. Don’t ask questions.
Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’ Warren
They call her “Crazy Eyes” for a reason, but deep down, just like these adorable spiders, we know she’s sweet.
Tiffany ‘Pennsatucky’ Doggett
Pennsatuck is not someone you want to mess with in prison. She has violent outbreaks followed by teary apologies. Another noticeable characteristic is her teeth. They’re awful. You can’t chew much with those things, so honor Pennsatuck by having a smoothie for dinner. This mango-mint one will get the job done.
After Red’s takedown in the kitchen, Gloria steps up to run the cafeteria. She changes things up with lots of wonderful spicy food, and the inmates might even prefer her breakfast to Red’s. Keep it simple and spicy when honoring this inmate by making tamales for dinner.
Being pregnant is tough, but it’s especially hard when you’re in prison and your lover is a prison guard so you need to keep that baby bump under wraps. In the second season, Diaz has some pregnancy-related needs, and yogurt is the cure. Start your dinner off with a spicy potato and cheese soup and end with this yogurt with caramelized figs for dessert.
Just like taco night at Litchfield, Nicky brings people together in prison. Nobody really messes with her, and she doesn’t mess with anyone else. Honor her by making something totally delicious, like these shrimp tacos.
Love-stricken Lorna deserves a warm Italian dinner if she ever gets out of Litchfield. She might seem calm and collected when she’s dealing with the other inmates, but the’s a firecracker and in prison for a reason. Make something comforting with a lot of depth. This baked risotto should do the trick.