What Each Pokemon Would Taste Like and How to Eat It
Frog. Poach in butter flavored with garlic from its own bulb.
Salamander. Poisonous. Don’t eat.
Turtle, obviously. Cook in a stew
Caterpillar. Probably poisonous.
Larvae. Raw or sautéed and sprinkled with sea salt.
Rat, obviously. Heavily seasoned and barbecued, if you really must.
Cornish game hen. Roasted with potatoes.
Snake. Roasted on a stick over a campfire.
Armadillo. Will give you leprosy.
Suckling pig. Roasted.
Fox. Made into a stew. Or cured into a jerky.
Strawberry mochi ice cream.
Bat. Roasted to a crisp. Again, only if you must.
The texture of a radish but the flavor of a blueberry. Raw.
Sand flea. Deep-fried as a snack. Mushroom gravy.
Huge-ass moths. Fried.
A really large and mature earthworm. Sliced and pan fried like bologna.
Monkey. Don’t do it!
Coyote. Marinate and BBQ.
Tadpole. Down in one.
Raccoon. Parboil with sweet potatoes and celery.
Would taste disgusting. Like what they put in the original soylent green.
Honeysuckle. Delicious for its nectar on a nature walk, or as a garnish on a dessert or cocktail.
Baby squid. Calamari.
Himalayan rock salt. Seasoning for the other Pokédishes.
Horse, obviously. Cut into steak and seared medium-rare.
Hippo. Very fatty steaks.
Metal? Melt it down and use it to make a cast iron skillet to cook the other Pokemon in.
Duck. A nice confit or magret de canard. With leeks on the side, of course.
Ostrich, but just farm them for their big-ass eggs.
Seal. Lightly seared or made into prosciutto or sausage.
Scallop. Pan-seared in butter.
Inedible. Use as lighter fluid.
Tapir. However you can for survival in the rainforest.
Crab. In a boil with some corn and potatoes.
Inedible, obviously. But could use as bowl.
Durian at the top, heart of palm at the bottom.
A T-bone steak.
Geoduck. Stir-fry with peppers and scallions.
Rock shrimp. Butter poached.
Blue raspberry Sour Punch Straws. Straight up.
Seahorse, duh. Skewered and deep-fried, if you must.
Goldfish. It would taste bad.
Starfish. Broiled, then eat the inside.
57. Mr. Mime
A screwball ice cream.
Grasshopper. Fried, in a taco.
Eggplant parm over spaghetti.
Farm it for honey.
Komodo dragon. Don’t eat; they’re endangered.
Scorpion. Deep-fried and salted.
Catfish. Deep-fried nuggets or on a potato roll with tartar sauce.
A bigger turtle. A bigger stew.
Fox. Don’t, but pressure-cook if you must.
A ring pop.
Giant isopod. Fried.
Bear. Dry-aged steak.
Pheasant. Stuffed and roasted.
An Avatar. Would probably eat you first
This article was originally posted on Medium. It has been republished with permission.