Twitter Knows What You’re Thinking While Grocery Shopping

Going to the grocery store is pretty close to a universal human experience. Sure, Bill Gates doesn’t know what Tide Pods cost, but for the most part we’ve all been there — eating grapes, comparing prices on cheese, and worrying the cashier will judge us if we buy too much wine all at one time.

This weekend the #ThoughtsWhileGroceryShopping hashtag erupted on Twitter, and it’s hilarious. If you ever need proof that your fellow shoppers are also neurotic weirdos, just check out what’s going through people’s heads while they’re grocery shopping.

When I flip over a box of Thin Mints, I want the serving size to just say “sleeve.”

I definitely thought I was the only person paralyzed with fear of being judged at the check-out line. Pro tip: Just add a bunch of kale to whatever you’re buying. Then whatever else they think of you, they will think, “That person is buying kale.”

My grocery store puts all its grapes in bags now. Is this why? Did we abuse the store’s casual beneficence towards grape-eating until we could no longer be trusted? Did we do this to ourselves? Lisa Simpson was right all along.

That last one is just like my husband. It is less than a 10-foot walk to get from our car to our kitchen table, and still he would rather die trying to carry every bag into the house at once than even consider making a second trip.

I love this meme, because until now I definitely assumed everyone around me at the grocery store had a meal plan, an itemized list, and a plan of attack that would get them from one end of the store to the other, instead of bouncing from dairy to paper towels, then back to dairy again because they forgot something. But if you went to the store hungry and bought way too many snacks, well, it looks like you’re not alone.

What do you think about at the grocery store?