See What Kind of Kitchen This Twitter-Famous Castle Has Inside

published Jan 20, 2022
We independently select these products—if you buy from one of our links, we may earn a commission. All prices were accurate at the time of publishing.
Exterior of Chris Mark Mansion
Credit: Tyra Pacheco Photography

While many people spend hours upon hours scrolling through TikTok nowadays, I find myself using what young kids call “ancient social media” — a.k.a. Twitter — at any given moment. Not looking for anything in particular, but also looking for a good time, the site has given me years upon years of laughable and head-scratching content. And when I stumbled across a thread this week about a castle and its interesting design, I got a little of both.

Now before I start, I’d like to preface this by saying when I was a little girl, I dreamed of living in a castle. Not really because I wanted to be a princess (that really wasn’t my style), but more so because I thought everything would talk like it did on Beauty and the Beast (judge me, you shall not). Fast-forward now to the year 2022 and while I still covet the library that Belle had in the movie, I’ve since given up my desire to want to live in a huge castle. That doesn’t mean, however, I don’t get excited to look at the historic designs. This castle, on the other hand, gave me more than I bargained for because it’s actually a little more “up to date.” Allow me to explain.

On January 14, 2022 (the year is important for many reasons), Chicago-based author Rebecca Makkai took to her Twitter account to share a “Zillow find” like no other: A castle, that according to Zillow was built in 2010(!), in the sweet comfort of Woodstock, Connecticut. And according to the post — which has racked up over 45,00 likes since the time of posting — it even has a moat. A moat in 2022, y’all!

Credit: Tyra Pacheco Photography

Now while the moat itself is enough to make you wonder “what’s going on here?” there’s so much more to unpack. Inside what is described in the Twitter thread as a “clock-heavy” laced home, the 9-bedroom, 10-bathroom castle features theatrics that you would absolutely see in a Disney movie. From over-exaggerated drapes in one bathroom to what seems to be an oddly shaped tree limb (???) in another, this house — if we even can call it that — is one that not even Twitter can figure out.

After seeing a majority of the photos (including a few that featured a family crest and sarcophagus), my immediate next thought was “I cannot wait to see the kitchen!” And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. The kitchen, which greets you with two large, identical elephant statues, is definitely one to talk about. And here’s why.

First, I’d like to point out that there’s a lot going on. Not only does the kitchen feature multiple shades of wood throughout, but it also has this sort of cloud situation happening on the ceiling. The latter, however, is only in one portion of the kitchen — the center of it — which is what I assume to be the draw point of the space. Why do I think this? Well, that’s because there’s a huge pillar made to be a spice rack sitting there. Yes, you read that right. A spice rack sitting in the middle of the kitchen. How … progressive?

Credit: Tyra Pacheco Photography

While there are plenty of other things that can be talked about in this kitchen (like the floor lines that bring you right to the spice rack and the industrial-sized range hood over the equally industrial-looking stoves), I just want to spend a moment to marvel at this spice rack. Now, I’m no architect, nor do I consider myself to be a professional interior designer of any sort, but while I’m definitely scratching my head at this exposed spice rack, I’m also quite impressed with all of the oddities that just seem so normal to the owner of this place. I mean, a center-stage spice rack is convenient, is it not?

Credit: Tyra Pacheco Photography

What I can’t quite grasp though, is the overflow of elephant statues parading throughout the kitchen. I do recall both my grandmother and mother telling me that elephants — when in statue form and with their tusks pointed toward doors — can bring good luck. So, maybe they were hoping for a lot of good luck in the kitchen? To be honest, I think we all wish for that at times, so I don’t blame them.

Credit: Tyra Pacheco Photography

Though the castle has been rumored to have been on the market since 2014 (you can read all about the wild story surrounding it here), no one has been so inclined to snatch it up yet. That could be because the current price point is a whopping $35 million — down from an initial $45 million when it was first put onto the market — or because there’s an actual dungeon on property. Because, you know, that’s a very needed talking point for castles these days. But if they’re able to keep booking filming dates for Hallmark Christmas movies there, keeping it may prove to be more financially fruitful than selling it.