The Reluctant Baker: 5 Reasons Why I Don’t Bake Pies
We have a resident Reluctant Baker around here, and we’re going to quote him on the whole business of pie-baking. See, we’re in the middle of a Pie Bakeoff, but we know that a lot of you are hesitant to bake pies. So here are our top five reasons to skip the pie in favor of cake, or to buy that pumpkin pie instead of baking it yourself – all courtesy of our resident pie curmudgeon. Can you relate to any of these?
- I don’t know how to make a good crust. Crustless pies are for wimps. My crusts burn, sag, and shrink. They are heavy, too greasy, or insubstantial next to the filling. How can something with so few ingredients be so hard? But to make a crustless pie seems, well, like giving up.
- I hate peeling apples. I mean, the work of filling a pie – peeling apples, and roasting pumpkins, and chopping, chopping, chopping. And even after all that…
- Pie filling is gross. Pumpkin pie filling is really gross. It’s usually like baby food – all squishy and runny. And pie filling (from a can) isn’t even made from pumpkins.
- A pie is more time consuming to make than a cake and less satisfying. A cake? It takes less time to whip up in the KitchenAid – even from scratch. There isn’t the one-two whammy of the crust+filling work in a pie.
- And if I did make a pie, how the hell would I transport it all the way to Thanksgiving? My last chocolate pie slopped all over my car trunk and the traces are still there. How am I supposed to get this thing from the oven to the table in one piece?
Can you identify with any of these reasons NOT to make a pie? Or do you have reasons of your own? If so, tell us here.
Now, we just don’t agree with most of these; we think that a few good tips, some new recipes, and a bit of practice would be enough to win our Reluctant Baker over to the side of the pie-baker. We’ll do our best to address his reasons this month; maybe even our resident pie curmudgeon will be won over in time to bake a pie for the Bakeoff!