10 Hilarious Names for Food Items That Are More Accurate than the Real Ones

published Feb 12, 2018
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(Image credit: Lauren Volo)

We take the names of ingredients we shop for at the grocery store for granted. We make lists of foods to acquire at the store, prepare meals with these ingredients, and then put those meals on social media, but I’d wager that many of us (myself included) haven’t put a great deal of thought into who gave things their proper names in the first place. Why isn’t a watermelon radish called a “prison potato”? And how come potatoes aren’t called “edible rocks”?

A Twitter account has recently been making waves with renaming everything from animals to instruments, and today I’m taking a stab at foods and what they really should be called.

The @correctnames Twitter account is run by Mark Dempsey who has a knack for giving things honest names. Here are a few of my personal favorites.

Even though these things make us laugh and hit share on Facebook or Twitter, they aren’t all that easy to come up with in the first place. It seems like a simple concept, as he’s really just stating what everyone is thinking in the first place, right? But being honest with humor mixed in while keeping things simple and usually down to two words is harder than it looks! Recently I tried my own hand at giving a few food items some correct names and here’s how I did!

  • Ramen: Crispy brains
  • Radishes: Spicy Rudolph noses
  • Raisins: Dead wine
  • Graham Crackers: Marshmallow covers
  • Carrots: Snowmen noses
  • Pickles: Drowned cucumbers
  • Cilantro: Soapy stems
  • Kale: Smoothie leaves
  • Cheetos: Spray tan sticks
  • Muffins: Cupcakes lacking potential

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