Horoscopes and … chocolate? Now you've heard it all, right? But hey, each zodiac sign has a distinct set of personality traits — and believe it or not, there's a chocolate recipe out there to match each one. So here's some cacao-dipped cosmic insight into the chocolate that most resembles your astrological profile.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19): Brownies
Daring Aries are adventurous in the physical world, but not so much with food. As the first sign of the zodiac, you have childlike spirits and tend to gravitate toward "kid" foods like chicken fingers and fries when you're indulging.
Brownies, a childhood favorite, will never fail to satisfy your sweet tooth after a long day of conquests. And because you're impatient and always on the go, you can grab a square and eat it in your car or walking down the street — you just might have to stop and find some milk along the way.
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TAURUS (April 20 to May 20): Red wine hot chocolate
Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus, the goddess of beauty and pleasure. That means you tend to gravitate toward the finer things, especially when it comes to food and drink. You love food (like, really love it), and this recipe combines two of your favorite Dionysian delights: chocolate and red wine. 'Nuff said.
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GEMINI (May 21 to June 20): Chocolate muffins
Gemini is an air sign, symbolized by the Twins, and that means your tastes can swing to extremes. One minute you're craving something sweet; the next, you want to throw a dance party. You burn through energy as quickly as you burn through interests (including love interests), so you need food that sustains you. These chocolate muffins have everything (sweetness! Texture!) to keep your attention. Plus, you can eat them for breakfast or later in the day as a snack.
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CANCER (June 21 to July 22): Chocolate pots de crème
You've never met a cream-based dish you didn't like. Cancer is a sensitive water sign — and probably the uncrowned king and queen of emotional eating, but that's another story. Comforting yourself with food is a Cancer pastime, whether you're appreciating it as a diner or using your natural creative abilities to make it yourself. You love to bond over a decadent dish. The rich and intense flavors of a warm pots de crème suits you — and your sensitive palate.
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LEO (July 23 to August 22): Flourless chocolate cake
You're showy, glamorous, and theatrical. You love the spotlight, and the impatient side of you prefers instant gratification. Of course, you love a decadent dessert — especially if it's going to impress your guests — so you'll put in the effort to make this flourless chocolate cake. You'll even be willing to eat some ... or half.
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VIRGO (August 23 to September 22): Chocolate orange truffles
It's got orange in it, and that's Vitamin C, right? Or so your health-conscious (and slightly neurotic) sign will rationalize as you pop one of these in your mouth.
Virgo is the sign of health and well-being, but you're also a sensual earth sign. That means anytime you can find a way to put "healthy" and "decadent" in the same sentence, you're #winning (as fellow Virgo Charlie Sheen famously said). Fun fact: Mario Batali and Rachael Ray are also Virgos.
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LIBRA (September 23 to October 22): Chocolate bark
You're the sign of balance, so the sweet-and-salty contrast lets your sign flip-flop between opposite flavors, never having to decide on just one.
Forever trying to find a happy point of equilibrium, you're the sign that's positioned right in the middle of the zodiac wheel, forever playing the diplomat. In the world of chocolate, that could mean mediating between sweet and salty … or just having both. You're a people-pleaser and tend to avoid conflict, so if you don't have to choose, all the better. Nice guys might finish last, but if they have a pan of chocolate bark to polish off, that's not a bad thing.
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SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21): Molten chocolate cake
Sultry Scorpio is the zodiac's most mysterious sign. You love intensity, deep dives into any subject, and buried surprises. You're famously guarded, too. Only a trusted few will ever really see the soft and sensitive side within. You've got a controlled, well-crafted outer persona that belies your vulnerable emotions. But once someone really gets in there, they'll discover that you're really just a softie.
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SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21): Chocolate cobbler
Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the mythic god of the feast. Your hedonistic sign loves excess, so bingeing on an over-the-top dessert is just your speed. Adventurous Sagittarians will take the most exotic or indulgent dish on the menu — never the boring basics. You've got an appetite for the unusual. Gooey, messy, and ridiculously indulgent, this dessert matches the hedonistic Sagittarius personality. Too much of a good thing? For you? There's no such thing!
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CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19): Chocolate chip cookies
Earthy Capricorn is a traditional sign that likes to keep things simple. You're ruled by restrained Saturn, so you might not even like things that are over-the-top sweet. Experimenting isn't always in your constitution — you know what you like, and you tend to stick to it. Classic Capricorn will alway reach for a timeless treat. If the recipe ain't broke (or crumbling), why fix it?
Also: Just as a chocolate chip cookie never lets you down, loyal Capricorns are always there for their friends when comfort and good old-fashioned support are needed.
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AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18): Chocolate fudge
Aquarius is the zodiac's friendliest sign — ruler of groups and social causes. It's also the sign of surprises and spontaneity. And because fudge was invented by mistake (during a caramel-making session gone wrong, according to legend), this enduring treat is the best bet for you. Some of your very own best creations have come when you experimented and let things happen magically.
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PISCES (February 19 to March 20): Chocolate layer cake
Watery Pisces, the zodiac's last sign, is said to embody the traits of every single zodiac sign. (Many layers to you indeed!) You're the sign of the fish — or the mermaid — and you'll go to the depths of everything to experience transcendent bliss. Like a layer cake, you haven't really tasted it all until you've gone all the way to the bottom.
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