The last grocery man to capture America's collective heart might've been Mr. Hooper, the bow-tie wearing owner of Sesame Street's corner store — and that was in, like, 1982. But that all changed during the season premiere of The Bachelorette when we were introduced to Joe Amabile.
The 31-year-old Chicagoan wasn't the smoothest contestant on the show (he introduced himself to Becca Kufrin with an honest "I'm Joe and I forgot everything I was going to say to you") but that just made him more endearing, because if you've never embarrassed yourself on a first date, you've probably never been on many first dates.
In his introductory video, the grocery store owner and former watermelon seller said "I deal in produce, but one thing I haven't produced yet is love," and that sound you just heard was thousands of ovaries detonating themselves. But at the end of the episode when the off-the-charts adorable Amabile was sent back to the storeroom without a rose, Twitter was having none of it.
Hashtags like #JusticeforJoe and #GroceryJoe started trending, as women alternated between wishing Kufrin had handed him a rose and wondering whether they could find out which South Side grocery store was his. (We've admittedly done the same thing — without any luck. He doesn't even have a social media presence, other than an Instagram account that seems to have been started last month).
"Cleanup on aisle five, amiright?" a quite possibly counterfeit Grocery Store Joe tweeted. "It's just my BROKEN HEART."
"I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT JOE THE GROCERY STORE OWNER DIDN'T MAKE IT PAST NIGHT 1 ON THE BACHELORETTE I WOULD LIKE TO SUE ABC," one distraught viewer wrote.
"becca sent joe the grocery store owner home so we now know two things about her: 1. she doesn't like watermelon 2. she is blind," another harrumphed.
So um, yeah, who else needs to pick up a few things at the store today? In Chicago? While shouting a Bachelorette contestant's name?