The 10 Cocktails Teachers Wish They Had While Grading Papers

updated May 24, 2019
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(Image credit: Kondor83)

Being a teacher doesn’t seem like a job for the weak. I straight-up salute the people who spend hours educating our youth because I couldn’t do it. It’s a lot of time, energy, money, sweat, and patience on children (or young adults) who aren’t even yours. I can’t even imagine having that kind of mental and emotional stamina.

What I can imagine is desperately dreaming of a cocktail while working those arduous after-school hours grading papers, supervising detention, or cleaning up after the little rugrats. After all, a little Mai Tai makes all geometry look better, doesn’t it?

Here are 10 cocktails teachers I spoke to swore they would love more than that damn red apple your kid keeps bringing them.

Note: This is a tongue-in-cheek list. We have the utmost respect for teachers and while we are sure they would love to have a quick sip while grading papers, we are relatively sure none of them actually indulge.

(Image credit: Joe Lingeman)

Nothing says summer quite like an icy margarita on a rooftop somewhere that isn’t your classroom at 4 p.m. Although this might not instantly transport you, it sure doesn’t hurt.

(Image credit: Roger Kamholz)

This can be made with rye or whiskey and served in any number of glasses (tumbler, coupe, “world’s #1 teacher” mug). Plus, the alcoholic ingredients can all fit inside your desk drawer. #win

(Image credit: Maria Siriano)

Teachers are people too, okay? People who are fun, who like brunch, and who occasionally have to go into work on the weekends while their friends are all out sipping cocktails. If the teacher can’t go to frosé, the frosé must come to the teacher. Now if there were only a way to get an slush drink machine in the teacher’s lounge!

(Image credit: Tara Donne)

It’s light, it’s herbal, and it’s sweet. Although it’s not traditionally imbibed with a straw, you might not be able to help yourself.

(Image credit: Lauren Volo)

The classic cocktail hour drink. Shaken or stirred, vodka or gin, twist or olive, martinis are eternal. As a bonus, they go well with almost any snack you can find in a vending machine.

(Image credit: Lauren Volo)

This drink is just too fun and versatile not to love. It can be made with a myriad of spirits or even red wine. Plus, you can almost always find chocolate milk and a microwave in the cafeteria for a quick-and-dirty fix.

(Image credit: Lauren Volo)

Sometimes you need to come in before school to grade papers. ‘Nuff said.

(Image credit: Tara Donne)

Just because you can’t go on spring break to the Big Easy doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little taste of NOLA right in your own desk chair. This classic New Orleans drink would be even more delicious than one of the yard-long concoctions you get on Bourbon Street and probably won’t make you regurgitate red barf all night long.

(Image credit: Joe Lingeman)

The summer essential and darling of almost all gin drinkers. It’s simple, it’s cooling, and it’s a reminder that summer break isn’t just for the kids.

(Image credit: Chumash Maxim)

10. Literally Anything with Booze

Because isn’t that the true answer for what kind of cocktail we would like at work? No matter the job?