The Super Splurgy Vacuum That’s So Good I Actually Cried

This is not an article about a vacuum. I mean, it is — but it’s so much more than an article. It is a genuine love letter, a tearing-down of the fourth wall, a shake-you-to-the-core revelation. I want to tell you about a vacuum so good, I actually cried over it. You may think this is hyperbole, but I assure you it’s not.

As a writer who covers groceries, kitchen tools, and organizational and cleaning products, I test a lot of things for coverage consideration. If I like it, I’ll write about it. If I’m not a fan, I generally won’t. (I will, however, share feedback directly with the company.) As a reader, you’re probably familiar with this routine, and may even expect that every product review you encounter will be at least colored with “Buy this now!” vibes. It’s important for me to explain all of this, so I can impress upon you just how different this review is. I really, really like the Samsung Bespoke Jet cordless vacuum. I like it so much I don’t just want to tell you about it; I need to tell you about it.

This vacuum first popped up on my radar a few months ago, long before it was released. I was immediately taken by its sleek, minimalist aesthetic — so pretty, you could store it in your kitchen. The three color options, Midnight Blue, Woody Green, and Misty White, are practically guaranteed to complement your decor scheme. As a vacuum-everyday person, I had to have one, and put in an order. 

While I waited for it to arrive at my doorstep, I read up on the vac’s qualities. This is a stick, or cordless vacuum, meaning it runs on battery power, and doesn’t need to be plugged into an outlet for use. It was reported to be surprisingly light (weighing 24% less than Samsung’s previous stick vac), and boasted 210 AW of suction power. I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded good. 

When the vacuum arrived, I had just arrived home from a 10-day trip out of state. Happily, my boyfriend left the vacuuming for my return. (This sounds like a dig, but I actually like vacuuming so it was kind of a weird love language thing.) We have two furry corgis who consider shedding to be an Olympic sport. So, there was a disturbing amount of fur tumbleweeds floating around, in addition to what I call U.I.D.B.s (unidentified dusty bits). 

I was worried that the vac would be a headache to put together for a tech-averse person like myself, but it was out of the box and charging within 10 minutes. And, yes, I can confirm: It looks great next to our storage console. 

I had never used a stick vac before. Our old vacuum was a reliable-but-bulky no-frills upright model. The first time I used the Samsung Bespoke Jet, I cried. I’m not being sensational; I really did. Of course, this vacuum worked great. But that’s not all. The best part about it is the self-cleaning function. Once you replace the vacuum onto the charging station, all it takes to completely clean the canister is a press of a button. Every bit of hair, fur, and U.I.D.B. is suctioned out into an easy-to-replace bag — hidden behind that handsome exterior. Wow, right?

For most people, this is a nice-to-have feature. For me, it is a really big deal. I’ve dealt with a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since I was a child, and while I have learned to manage it with therapy and other healthy coping modalities, I still struggle with the cleanliness level of my home. Vacuuming is key to calming my anxiety levels, but came with one downfall: After every use, I had to manually empty the canister. That meant coming into direct contact with all the U.I.D.B.s, which really triggered me. I thought it was a necessary evil and learned to deal with it. 

When I learned the Samsung Bespoke vac cleaned itself with amazing technology, that’s when I cried. No more scraping spider legs and hair out of the crevices with my hands. Its suction power is so strong, the canister is left perfectly clean after every use. “It’s like a vacuum for your vacuum,” observed my boyfriend. To me, it meant less anxiety. More peace. I was sold on day one.

After a few days of use, I kept coming up with more reasons to love this vacuum. Almost hourly, I’d say to my boyfriend, “Oh, and ANOTHER thing that’s so great about the vacuum is … ” (His response: “I hope someday you speak about me with the same affection you have for this vacuum.”) So, to share my love for this thing, I’ve created a list — with 15 reasons why it’s so wonderful. These are all of my favorite things about the Samsung Bespoke Jet vacuum.

1. It comes with two batteries, so if you’re on a vacuuming tear, you don’t have to let a dead battery slow you down. Each battery can handle a 30-minute session at max power (or longer, if you run it at minimum or medium strength), and it recharges completely within hours.
2. Bonus: The digital display on the handle tells you exactly how much time you have left before a charge is needed.
3. It’s really maneuverable. The handle extends so long, I was able to vacuum underneath the entire couch without moving it — something I couldn’t do with my old model.
4. The attachments swivel into corners with ease!
5. There are so! Many! Attachments!
6. The attachments can all be corralled on a single, sleek holder!
7. The floor attachment is gentle enough to use on a delicate rug; hooray.
8. Both the floor and pet hair attachments are cleverly designed to eliminate the dreaded hair wrap. (In other words, you’ll never have to tackle hair tangles with a pair of scissors again.)
9. There are multiple suction levels, so you can decide how much power you want to put behind each job.
10. Because it’s so nice-looking, it can live right in the kitchen. No more hauling a vacuum up and down the basement stairs on the daily.
11. My dogs don’t bark at it. This is a biggie. Historically, they’ve barked at every vac I’ve used. I think because the Samsung is so quiet, it doesn’t disturb them.
12. It is quite light, as in 5.7 pounds light. The first time I used it, I did the entire house without any arm fatigue.
13. The command station (aka that hidden bag) retains over 99% of dirt and dust particles, so the things you clean stay clean.
14. There’s a five-layer filtration system, which results in cleaner breathing air. A must for pet owners and folks who live in high-pollen areas (at least, for this pet owner and woods-dweller).
15. It’s easy to take apart on the occasional times I need to manually clean the canister and reusable filter. No prying apart, no cramming back into place.

At this point, you’re wondering how much the vacuum costs. Friends, it costs $899.99. That is a lot of dollars; I won’t deny it. But they’re dollars well spent for people who love to clean and people who hate it. If you’re an over-cleaner, like myself, you’ll nerd out on all of the functions. If you avoid this chore at all costs, you’ll appreciate how simple Samsung makes it. 

Are you this passionate about your own vacuum? What’s your favorite brand and model? Tell us in the comments below.