Last week, the city of High Point, North Carolina, announced that it would be stepping in to prevent its citizens from handing out those gross peanut butter kiss candies. "Alright everybody, we're giving you a one-week notice as you prepare for trick-or-treaters to remind y'all that by order of the City of High Point Emperor of Acceptable Candy (it's a real thing), these are banned," the City of High Point Government wrote on Facebook. "No one likes them, don't give them out."
Yes, that "ban" was a joke (although I wish every municipality had an Emperor of Acceptable Candy), but maybe it means that when tiny Minions and extra-little Little Mermaids empty their plastic pumpkins tonight, they won't find any of those orange-and-black-wrapped disappointments. But the rest of us — or, uh, our kids — might not be so lucky.
That's where Reese's comes in. The candy giant has unveiled a "Candy Converter Machine" that will happily accept your crap candy, letting anyone whose Halloween tastes like sadness swap their peanut butter chews, circus peanuts, or any other underwhelming treats for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Anna Lingeris, a spokeswoman for Reese's distributor Hershey, told CNN that 90 percent of Americans have either traded their least-fave Halloween candy or wish they could've traded it, and that's why the company is making that particular dream come true this year. (According to a survey conducted by CandyStore.com, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best possible Halloween candy – and we're not gonna argue with that assessment).
The one tiny downside to this glorious Candy Converter Machine? It will only be available in Tarrytown, New York, and Washington Square Park in New York City. From 4 p.m. until 9 p.m. today, it will be there swapping unwanted candies for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (and Lingeris expects that the company will dispense more than 10,000).
"Maybe we will bring the Reese's Candy Exchange to other cities," she teased. "Stay tuned for Halloween 2019." Until that happens, maybe we should skip the middleman and just hand out Reese's Peanut Butter Cups from the start. Wait, did we say "hand out"? Because we meant "turn the lights off, stay away from the windows, and eat the entire bag ourselves." Happy Halloween!