Okay, BuzzFeed — What’s the Deal with This Banana Slicer?

updated May 1, 2019
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(Image credit: Hutzler)

You’ve probably seen this little kitchen gadget making its way around the Internet. Yeah, it’s pretty much unnecessary. Yeah, people are probably just buying it as a gag gift. Yeah, the reviews are pretty funny. But three posts about it, BuzzFeed? What are you up to?

As an aside, let me just say that one of my daily responsibilities as The Kitchn’s Social Media Manager is to find something trendy and buzzworthy in the world of food news to share. I try to find something either helpful or funny that’ll either bring a smile to your face, or just leave you feeling informed. Some days, this is easier than others. But Tuesday? Tuesday was a slow food news day.

You know how I know Tuesday was a slow food news day?

Because BuzzFeed ran another story on this crazy banana slicer. You know, like the one from 2012. Or the one from 2014. What’s going on, BuzzFeed? Do you have stock in this thing or something?

(Image credit: Leela Cyd)

Prophecies have long told of the third life of the fabled banana slicer; one of the Internet’s most famous unitaskers. I didn’t really pay attention when I learned of the third coming of the great banana slicer, but I think it had something to do with banana bread. Or maybe it was one-ingredient banana ice cream? Whichever it was, I’m certain it was something pretty tasty.

All jokes aside, I have to hand it to BuzzFeed: The reviews of the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer really are pretty delightful. If you haven’t seen them before, it’s high time you checked them out! Here’s a sampling:

Jim Anderson won the award of “Most Critical” with the following gem:

Angle is wrong

I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slicer is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.

And Nadja Velez really nailed it with this harsh criticism:

One Star

It only works if you have a banana and these are not included …

And Thumpin’ makes a very fine point here. I mean, the nerve:

NOT “great for cereal!!”

I can’t believe this slicer is listed as “great for cereal.” I tried slicing Cheerios, Trix, Corn Flakes, and Chex, and each ended up crumily smashed, not neatly sliced. What’s worse, this thing is nigh useless on Cream of Wheat.

But it’s not all negativity and storm clouds! Carina Beres sees the silver lining:

This is a huge money saver right here. I…

This is a huge money saver right here. I no longer have to hire someone to come over every week and evenly cut my bananas.

Some, like jim burnett, are just happy to have finally seen the light:

My eyes have finally been opened to the joy of evenly sliced bananas

My eyes have finally been opened to the joy of evenly sliced bananas! Why couldn’t I have found this sooner? Forty years of hand slicing! What a collosal waste of time. My life could’ve been totally different if I had known of this back then.

Still, other reviewers, like lisa harding, were generous but vague:

Five Stars


I was a little disappointed to see that Ken M hasn’t trolled the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer yet, but maybe that time will still come. And when it does, you can bet your bottom dollar that Buzzfeed will cover it … probably about two years from now.

(JK, Buzzfeed. I love you!)