Mitt Romney Blowing Out His Birthday Candles Is the Funniest Thing You’ll See All Day

updated Apr 30, 2019
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(Image credit: From left to right: Christopher Halloran/Shutterstock;Joe Lingeman) )

It was the happiest of birthdays for Utah senator and former presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, when his staff came into his office bearing a cake made out of what he calls his favorite snack: Twinkies.

Now, there’s a lot of odd things about Romney’s culinary proclivities. This is, of course, the man who proclaimed “My favorite meat is hot dog, by the way. That is my favorite meat.” And also the man who said, “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great, but I like hot dog best, and I like hamburger next best.”

So anyway, leaving aside the fact that everybody knows Ding-Dongs are better than Twinkies, and that while we all love hot dogs, it’s an odd choice for favorite meat, the real issue with this birthday video has nothing to do with the cake. It’s how the senator chooses to blow out the candles. You know how your wish only comes true if you blow them all out in one breath? This is the opposite of that.

Romney pulls each of the candles out of the cake, blows it out individually, then moves onto the next candle. Instinct and a desire to give someone the benefit of the doubt leads a viewer to assume he did it to keep from blowing his own germs onto a cake to be shared with others (though he executes the lamest joke ever with a classic, “What are you guys going to have?”). But that theory is disproven because he blows out the individual candles directly over the cake.

So, that leaves us with just one plausible explanation: this is the moment that we all learn Mitt Romney is not only an alien, but one who is having a difficult time adjusting to our earthling customs.