Martha Stewart Shares Her Idea of a Perfect Date, Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

Martha Stewart, the legendary queen of entertaining, appeared on The Late Show last week to demonstrate a picture-perfect Valentine’s cake. But, as is often the case with a Martha appearance, she shared more than just dessert.

The segment begins with a surprising toast. Colbert pulls out a bottle of wine with Martha’s face on the front called “Martha’s Chard.” Obviously, I Googled this wine immediately, and found out that the 19 Crimes chardonnay is available at a number of grocery stores for just $12 a bottle. Plus, it’s Colbert-approved; he said he could get “crunked” on the stuff.

Then something equally surprising happens: Martha has Colbert drop a couple of ice cubes in her glass. When Colbert asks about this seemingly taboo move, Martha proclaims that she’s talked to vintners in Italy and France, and they all gave her the OK to add ice to white wine and rosé. Plus, she adds, if you’re on a bad date the ice cubes will dilute the wine and prevent you from getting too drunk to make a quick escape. That’s Martha, always thinking ahead.

Colbert then asks Martha about her ideal date, and I am so glad he did. She proceeds to outline a dream date that the rest of us can literally only dream about. It begins with a private plane and a weekend trip to some mysterious location “like a private island.” There are beaches, swimming, food, and “you know what else.” Not only that, Martha approves of this extravagant getaway as a first date. Because, as Martha says, “why bother otherwise.” A true power move.

Oh, and they made heart-shaped cakes. It’s a fluffy white layer cake with a center of fresh raspberries and pastry cream. The top layer has a heart cut-out with raspberries surrounded by a whipped cream and créme fraîche mixture and a dusting of coconut. But who can look at cake when Martha’s suggesting she’s going commando under her leather pants and Stephen is piping cream into her mouth? No one!

We all know Martha is doing something right, so you can’t help but admire her for icing her wine like she just doesn’t care and demanding millionaire first dates (#lifegoals). A true inspiration, just in time for Valentine’s.