Um, I’m Not So Sure About Martha Stewart’s Scrambled Egg Tip

published Dec 20, 2018
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I consider myself a super-fan of Martha Stewart. She’s not only one of my favorite culinary personalities, but also one of my favorite people, period. Through life’s ups and downs, Martha still remains a living American icon. Her uniquely American come up — from her beginnings as a fashion model to household genius and media mogul — is, to use her catchphrase, such “a good thing.”

Yet, Martha is still human, and all of us make missteps (celebrities are no exception), which is why I simply must report the following: Martha recently gave us a cooking tip, and it’s not-so-much a good thing.

On December 18, 2018, the Food Network aired an episode of their popular competition series Chopped, entitled “Breakfast Battle.” The theme of the episode was based around the most important meal of the day, and contestants were tasked with creating a three-course meal using breakfast ingredients. In the lead-up to the show’s airtime, the Food Network posted a video on Twitter of Martha Stewart using a very unusual tool to make scrambled eggs: a cappuccino machine.

“Here’s a very fun way to cook scrambled eggs,” Stewart begins in the 52-second-long video, which already has more than 71,000 views in less than a day. Using items usually reserved for your morning flat white, Martha breaks two eggs into a clear cappuccino mug and then cuts a pat of butter into small pieces and places it in with the egg, along with some salt and pepper. After a quick whisk, Stewart excitedly exclaims, “And then insert the steam wand right into the scrambled egg!”

It’s at this point, it seems, the epitome of style and grace lost nearly everyone watching the video, even after her assurances that this technique “steams the egg into the softest, fluffiest scrambled egg.” After “a few seconds” of cook time (which seems … on the low side?) Stewart places the concoction on a slice of toast.

Most people would clamor to receive a meal made by the great Martha Stewart, but not … this particular meal, according to Twitter.

Yes, there were one or two folks on the thread who thought the technique was a good tip.

Still, more people generally have the reaction of the tweet below.

After watching the video several times myself, I fear I agree with the Twitter naysayers: The eggs don’t really look appetizing (I’m so sorry, Martha).

First of all, the eggs are probably very wet with all that steam aerating them, and if you look at the remainder in the glass mug when Stewart pours, it all appears to be undercooked a little. Nothing makes me more nauseous than scrambled eggs that even give the impression that they’re undercooked — like, have you ever seen scrambled eggs with American cheese sitting in a buffet? That.

But let’s address the bigger problem: Exactly who is going to clean that cappuccino machine after you’re done “scrambling” some eggs with it? I can tell you from years of experience working food service that cleaning steamed milk residue off of a cappuccino machine steam wand is a backbreaking task. Could you imagine having to clean scrambled egg off of one of those things? Especially since somebody’s probably going to want a latte with their eggs? No thank you.

Although it might seem surprising, Martha isn’t the only the high-profile person to suggest a scrambled eggs technique that forgoes the oven completely. Meatball Shop owner Daniel Holzman suggests making an omelet with — of all things — an iron. In a video partnership between Food & Wine magazine and college-focused food website Spoon University, Holtzman really makes an edible omelette using an iron, a roll of duct tape, and some foil. (You can’t make this up, folks.)

I must reiterate: I truly think Martha Stewart is the queen, and I will be making her Parker House rolls this Christmas, as I do with a Martha Stewart Living recipe every year. And the same goes for Holtzman; I’ve been to his restaurant and know his food to be spectacular as well. We all have our off days.

Maybe these tips will work in a pinch — you never know, one day you may find yourself stuck in a Starbucks with two-dozen eggs and no way out.