Harvard Professor Tries to Ruin French Fries for Everyone

Here is an incomplete list of foods that you probably try to eat in moderation (to varying degrees of success): doughnuts, Hersheys Kisses, celery sticks, and tofu, probably. French fries are not one of those foods. You can’t simply order a side of fries, eat one or two, and feel satisfied; to do so would take an act of willpower beyond your wildest dreams.

But some fancy Harvard professor has decided to share his so-called wisdom with the world by letting us know that for the sake of our “health” we should limit our french fry intake to six at a time, maximum.

Needless to say, the internet did not respond to Professor Eric Rimm’s advice kindly. How dare he try to take away the pure joy that comes from eating a basket of hot, salty fries! Rimm, who is a professor at the T.H. Chan School of Public Health, slandered fries by calling them “a starch bomb.” He told The New York Times that while most people won’t send back three-quarters of an order of fries (for good reason! That would be a huge waste!), he would prefer to see that your “meal came with a side salad and six french fries.” Yeah, okay.

Most people are already aware that salty heaps of fried potatoes aren’t doing their bodies any favors, but that’s not the point. Can’t we just occasionally enjoy something without a higher authority telling us that the thing we love might actually be slowly killing us? I know, I know, he’s trying do us all a favor by encouraging us to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but at what cost?

Personally, I am not willing to sacrifice my normal french fry portion. That’s why I’m choosing to ignore Professor Rimm’s advice for now, and will stick to polishing off the side of fries I ordered while barely touching my actual meal.