Help! I Invited Some New Friends Over. What Do I Serve for a “Grown-Up” Party?

Welcome to “Ask Kitchn,” where our editors put their heads together and answer reader questions. While we can’t answer every email, we thought it would be fun to let you into our team chat a couple of times a month. Want to ask us something? Email ask@thekitchn.com

Hi, Kitchn!

I’ve recently moved to a new city for a new job, after finishing grad school. To give me an excuse to invite some new friends over and socialize a bit more, I’ve decided to host a (29th!) birthday/housewarming party. Due to my grad-school hiatus, it’s been quite a few years since I’ve hosted a “grown-up” party and I have no idea what’s expected food-wise! Do I have to feed everyone dinner? Or make some sort of appetizers? Or just chips and dip? I love to cook, and have done big dinner parties in the past, but I also don’t want to be frazzled in the kitchen instead of spending time with guests. I would love some suggestions!

– Chandana

Chris: Hello, Chandana! One of my favorite ways to host a party is to make it a potluck! Especially if you’re celebrating your birthday and a new house, guests will be looking for some kind of way to contribute. To make it more fun, consider making it a themed party of some sort: If your guests all like to cook, you might consider, say, a pie party, and assign everyone either a savory or sweet pie (this cuts down on the chances that it’s all dessert). Another option is to make a big centerpiece-type dish (perhaps a nice lasagna or other baked dish you can assemble ahead of time) and ask guests to bring sides/salads/desserts.

Arie: Oh that’s fun! I love that idea — I recently made Smitten Kitchen’s mushroom lasagna for a dinner party. You can assemble the day before, too. It felt super special, but it wasn’t a hassle!

Meghan: Another option is to create a build-your-own dinner of some kind, so guests can eat as little or as much as they want. We do family-style spring rolls a lot in the summer — setting out platters of chopped veggies and protein with a little rolling station nearby with water and rice paper rolls. Someone also recently suggested hot pot as a build-your-own-dinner idea, and I loved that! Makes me want to buy a burner/pot just for that.

Sheela: Also, a soup party! Either everyone brings a soup or you just make one big pot of your favorite soup (or chili!) and everyone brings the accompaniments — bread, salad, wine, dessert. I’ve always wanted to do a party like that (or be invited to one, haha) because it just sounds fun and casual.

Arie: Also, can I just say, if you’re really stressed and don’t want to put pressure on yourself to cook, make a couple salads, and then BUY PIZZA. You could also make yourself a cake if you like baking (happy birthday!).

Lauren Masur: I was going to say, if you’re having new friends over on a grad school budget, feel free to cater with Trader Joe’s dips. They have a huge selection of extremely reasonably priced dips and an excellent cracker selection. Also, every party is better with Unexpected Cheddar — feel free to trademark that.

Grace: Yes! And you can always scoop their hummus into your own bowl and drizzle with olive oil to fancy it up a bit. I think it’s always a good idea to have a few appetizer-y things on hand for when people arrive — even if it’s just store-bought dip or a bowl of mixed nuts or olives — then you don’t have to stress that everyone’s hungry!

Arie: Lauren, Grace — would you serve anything for a main or just go all apps?

Lauren Masur: I would take the pressure off and just make it an appetizer party, to be honest. If everyone hits it off, you can level up next time!

Grace: I think you only have to serve a main thing if you call it a dinner party. If it starts at 8 p.m. or later, just do apps!

Lauren Masur: BUT! If you want to make it a dinner party pick a cookbook you’ve been dying to cook out of. My friend Olivia did this for her bday — she made a Chrissy Teigen-inspired dinner of coconut rice with broiled salmon from Cravings. Everyone was so impressed that she cooked her own bday dinner.

Arie: Impressive!

Christine: We did a housewarming party eons ago and it was a biscuit party! All I made were a ton of mini biscuits, then I put out things like honey, butter, strawberry butter, thinly sliced ham, pimiento cheese, etc. People were so excited to make their own snacks! And besides making biscuits, there wasn’t a lot to make beforehand but it was substantial enough. (And you can bake biscuits from frozen if you want warm biscuits throughout the party).

Patty: I can attest to these, from our resident biscuit whisperer, Meghan.

Arie: You are all so impressive. Can you invite me over for your next party, please?

Your turn, readers: What would you make for food in this situation?