These Grocery Store Horror Stories Will Convince You to Stay Home for the Holidays

published Nov 13, 2020
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Credit: Lauren Volo

Not to be cliché at this point, but the rumors are true: Thanksgiving is going to look different this year. While not being able to gather with your family might be hard, it’s also an opportunity to do something different. It’s actually pretty easy to scale down your Thanksgiving dinner if that’s what you want, or you can go rogue and eat ONLY pie for Thanksgiving. The ball (or turkey, really) is in your court.

No matter what you choose to do this year, there’s one tradition that everyone should skip out on this year, and that’s being a jerk at the grocery store. Twitter user Dylan Morrison recently posted a thread of grocery store horror stories to help convince people to stay home this holiday season — it’ll make you cry, then laugh, and then cry again.

Dylan said he worked at a fancy grocery store for two years, where he handled holiday orders. The year he was in charge, he ran over 1,000 Thanksgiving orders and 500 Christmas orders. While you might think that most of the orders would be for raw meat (like turkey and rib roast), the majority of them were pre-prepared meals. He went on to recount how he was treated by some of the customers at the store — it’s hilarious, until you realize how absurd and often abusive people can be to customer service workers.

Dylan said his favorite story is when a woman called him to complain that her turkey was cold AFTER she took it out of the fridge. Ma’am — I don’t know what to tell you here. You’re going to have to turn on your oven.

A lot of other people mentioned in the list just didn’t know how to cook. One guy bought $120 of precooked prime rib roast and then asked how to microwave it for medium rare. Another guy bought a raw turkey and cooked it in the PLASTIC BAG it was packaged in, and then was mad at the grocery store because it tasted disgusting.

The ones that really get me riled up are the stories about people ordering large amounts of expensive food and then just … never picking it up. Dylan says someone bought $500 worth of shrimp and then just ghosted. Who does that?! Monsters, that’s who.

The list of awful things goes on (please read the whole thing), but the moral of the story is that the holidays can bring out a lot of ugliness in people, and you’re risking the lives of service workers by going out anyway during Covid — so maybe … just don’t.