Does This Picture of Raspberry Jam Make You Uncomfortable?
For some reason, seedless jam has always rubbed me the wrong way. It might be because I think the best jam of all time was made by my grandmother from the raspberry bushes that grew around her driveway, and that definitely had seeds. Seedless preserves just feel less fruit-like to me — like orange juice without the pulp.
But the internet may have ruined raspberry seeds forever, thanks to this deeply disturbing photo of a jar of raspberry preserves that has way, way too many seeds.
“This jar of jelly has way too many seeds in it,” wrote a poster going by ydnac4axle, and too many seeds is definitely an understatement.
The jar is just an ordinary jar of Smucker’s Red Raspberry Preserves, but something has gone horribly wrong and the whole top of the jar is seeds. Raspberry seeds are harmless, even delicious, but this jar is a horror movie. I’ve always thought of seeds in raspberry jam as a feature, not a bug. But these look like, well, bugs.
Between this photo and the CDC’s tick-covered muffin tweet, I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat crunchy food again. It’s just going to be white bread and cream of wheat for the rest of my life.
People were very confused and a little grossed out by the jar of seeds, which does resemble maggots more than any food should.
“I worked in a factory that mashed raspberries into a paste. I have no idea what’s going on here, this did not come from a shift I was on,” one commenter wrote.
“This must be the residue left over after they make their seedless raspberry jam,” another said.
The thing that freaks me out about this is that the photo was taken inside the house. If it were on a shelf in a supermarket it would be one thing, but this photo means someone actually picked up that jar with their hands, paid money for it, and brought it into their home. I feel like that is just asking for trouble, like bringing home a mattress off the street, or a box of gremlins.
This jar is obviously a cursed object. The only solution is to destroy it, or to send it off to the warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Ark for safekeeping while the rest of us enjoy some toast with seedless jam. Or maybe just butter.