How to Spot a “Forever Couple” at Costco

published Jul 18, 2023
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AUSTIN, TEXAS - AUGUST 29 2017: the front of a Costco store just a minute after opening
Credit: Philip Arno Photography/Shutterstock

I’ve been married for 17 years now, which sounds like a long time (mainly because it is). At this point, our marriage is basically a senior in high school. We met through work while living in different countries, and I moved from India 17 years ago to the U.S. to be with my now husband. He will do most anything for me: Fill up my car with gas, make me a snack at midnight, and even make last-minute trips to the grocery store for me to get something I forgot. 

However, the one thing he hates to do is shop. Don’t get me wrong — he doesn’t mind going to the store to get something, but, as he says, “I don’t shop. I go get. There’s a difference.” I’ve given up on my dream to have long, romantic walks through the bakery section. Ours is a very romantic story, and someday there will be a movie about it. It just won’t have any scenes at Costco.  

See, I grew up in Bombay, where real estate is limited and stores are small, so I became a fan of Cotsco based on square footage alone. As a fan, I wanted to share this experience with my life partner, whom I love enough to have kids with. I excitedly asked him if we could go to Costco together, and he said those three little words that every woman wants to hear: “I guess so.” 

After a few trips to the ‘Co, I can safely say that, based on certain findings, we are indeed that “forever couple.” Despite his constant loathing, there are things that he does every trip — albeit begrudgingly — to show me that he truly loves me.

Credit: Patty Catalano

1. He might not “get” Costco-sized items, but he will lift them.

Some people, mainly my husband, look at the oversized bundles at Costco and think or say in the bountiful bulk aisles, “Who needs that much of anything? Why would anyone need twelve pounds of onions?” 

My response to that is simple: “What? It’s so much cheaper to buy in bulk! It’s smart shopping and besides, do you even know how many onions we go through? Sheesh!”

Even though he finds “everything is so large and cumbersome to lug home” and shudders at the idea of finding a place to put it all, he is always down to help load up (and, later, unload) our cart.

Credit: Kevin McGovern / Shutterstock

2. He holds my place in line — even on Christmas and Super Bowl Sunday.

Raise your hand if you’ve heard your partner say this: “It’s always packed and the parking lot is always full.” It’s true; the warehouse is a hotspot and the checkout line can extend almost all the way to the back of the store — and on days that aren’t remotely close to Christmas or the Super Bowl. 

And yet, he waits in that interminable line, even while I “get inspired to continue shopping and buy even more stuff that we don’t need” (aka a few last-minute essentials, which I wouldn’t have had the opportunity otherwise). Plus, you can answer many emails and get a ton of work done while waiting in that line.

3. He doesn’t like gossip (or small talk), but he’ll fill me in.

Meeting people I know in Costco is how I maintain a social life while being a mother, business owner, and busy human. How else can I get face-to-face time with busy friends? 

My husband, as you might have guessed, doesn’t see a Costco run in the same light: “I always end up seeing someone I know when I’m there, and I don’t want to socialize while buying groceries. I just want to buy my bananas and my oat milk and go back home.” But! He will keep me updated on his coworker “Jan’s” latest dating drama when he inevitably runs into her in the produce aisle.

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4. He knows which samples are “the good ones.”

I’m not one to turn down a freebie — whether it’s hand sanitizer, Vitamin D gummies, or this famous bakery’s new cookies. But I think we can all agree that not all samples are created equal. 

My husband has made it his mission to find the “good samples” and I must admit he is very, very good at it. As he likes to say, “If I’m going to go through all this, I at least deserve to be rewarded with snacks.” Ditto. 

Credit: Iryna Tolmachova / Shutterstock

5. He’s the ultimate personal driver.

Whether the parking lot is at max capacity or I’m just running in for a few things (lol), he offers to stay behind and wait for me in the parking lot. “Text me when you’re out, and I’ll meet you at the door.” It’s a win-win for us. And, hey, at least he likes Costco on the outside.

Got anything to add to this list? Tell us about it in the comments below.