The Best Coffee Maker Based on Your Zodiac Sign
If you already check your horoscope and make coffee first thing in the morning, why not do so with a coffee machine that’s actually perfect for your sign? It’s not a stretch to link coffee and astrology — after all, you just need water, fire, air, and earth to make the perfect cup. (That is: water, a heat source, steam, and coffee beans from a farm. Ok, maybe it’s a little bit of a stretch. But still. You get the point.)
With so many coffee tools out there, I figure you may want a star-guided way to narrow down what to buy. Don’t forget, you’re not limited to your sun sign: Check out your rising sign, too. (Unless you’re a Virgo, Virgo rising like me — I’ll just have to continue to perfect one method!)
Aquarius: Origami Japan Origami Dripper
Intellectual and intuitive, you are probably someone who stares at a work of art, engrossed in seeing and decoding every little detail. That’s why you’ll love the Origami Dripper, a gorgeous ceramic pour-over cone, crafted in Japan, that offers endless ways to experiment with flow rate and direction. Plus, you can play with by-passing techniques. (That’s coffee-nerd stuff; Google it! I know you want to know more!)
Pisces: Bodum Chambord French Press
Oh, you gentle, creative soul! Do you sometimes get lost in your own thoughts? What you need is a coffee brewer that is a bit more forgiving if you, say, get distracted doing something else. A French press is just the thing: The immersion-style brewing creates a cup that’s rich and comforting, and everything will be fine if you press the plunger after seven minutes instead of four. This one from Bodum is the best of the best.
Speed, competition, independence — your sign points to the Aeropress. A hand-held single-cup brewer, the Aeropress is designed to make a fantastic cup of coffee in next to no time, and can be packed up and taken anywhere. (Fun fact: There’s something called the World AeroPress Championship, which is a fierce favorite among coffee professionals!)
Taurus: Bonavita 8-Cup One-Touch Coffee Maker
There is nothing more reliable, practical, or stable than a good-quality automatic drip brewer, which is a perfect match for our Taurus friends. Bonavita machines are known for being super consistent, which means that day-after-day (no matter where the moon is!) your trusty brewer will be right there, keeping you caffeinated.
Gemini: De’Longhi Combination Espresso Machine
Coffee professionals sometimes scoff at the idea of a combination brewer. But when you’re both indecisive and curious, having the option of espresso or coffee at a moment’s notice sounds ideal. Maybe the planets want it to be an au lait day? Or perhaps a cortado feels right? Let this twin brewer be the guide!
Cancer: Bialetti Express Moka Pot
Wake up with the help of a timeless stovetop espresso maker. Let the smell of rich coffee percolate through your kitchen and it will instantly transport you to a time before there were millions of buttons and knobs and whirligigs. You may get a little emotional, but the kick from the espresso-like brew should help!
Leo: Flair Espresso Maker
I know you like a little flair, Leo: That’s why this show-stopping, conversation-starting countertop espresso maker is what you need to espresso yourself. (Yeah, I went there.) The fully manual machine uses a lever and your own strength to extract coffee, so you can embrace the theater of presenting your loved ones with a great visual experience and ovation-worthy flavor.
Virgo: Hario Tabletop Coffee Siphon
Do you thrive under just a little bit of stress? Do you like to follow precise instructions? Do you love the idea of mastering a seemingly complicated technique? Then siphon brewing is your siren song, Virgo. It is a beautiful device that is actually relatively easy to use once you get the hang of it. You’ll feel like a scientist, and your natural perfectionism will be rewarded.
Finding a brewer that suits a sociable and stylish sign like Libra is easy thanks to the beautiful curves and sleek bamboo collar of the classic Chemex brewer. This pour-over device isn’t just a practical way to make fantastic hand-brewed coffee for a crowd (check out the models with a six- to 10-cup capacity!), but it’s very, very good looking. Want to feed your deep love for collaboration? Recruit someone else to fold the proprietary filters!
Scorpio: La Marzocco Linea Mini
Go big and stay home, Scorpio, with one of the most intense kitchen investments you can make for those truly passionate about coffee: a Linea Mini espresso machine, handcrafted by Italian machine experts at La Marzocco. Yes, it comes with a price tag, but it also has top-tier technology and professional-level quality. Heck, you could charge the neighbors for a latte every morning and easily earn back the investment. (For a less expensive, still investment-worthy espresso machine, check out this model by Breville.)
Sagittarius: WACACO Nanopresso Espresso Maker
I’m tempted to say that your generous nature and good humor make you a candidate for being a coffee shop regular rather than a home brewer, Sag. But on those days when you need a little something extra at home, you’ll love the speed and ease of this hand-held Nanopresso device by WACACO. You hate to wait, so this high-pressure little beauty will quickly be your best friend, ensuring that you have great espresso at a moment’s notice. It also comes with a protective case: Drop it in your bag and you can have a fresh shot anywhere.
Capricorn: OXO Cold Brew Maker
Your sense of responsibility and your natural discipline makes you a perfect candidate for a cold brew, Capricorn. The brewing method might be a long-term investment (brews take 12 to 24 hours, because you’re using room-temperature water, rather than hot), but the rewards are boundless. You can use cold brew concentrate to make regular ol’ iced coffee, but you can also turn it into a wide array of tasty mixed coffee drinks. Like, say, cold brew with basil-infused simple syrup, cardamom bitters, a splash of water, lots of ice, and oat milk. Get crafty, Cap!
What’s your sign? And how do you make your coffee?