Tell Us Your Favorite Character from ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and We’ll Tell You Your Cereal Soulmate
“Welcome to the Hellmouth,” the first-ever episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, exclaims. And with that, TV would never be the same. There are brooding vampires! There are women kicking ass! There are people dancing at the Bronze! There’s kitten poker? This show really has it all. Even though Buffy might have ended in 2003, the show will live on in our hearts (and hopefully on Hulu) forever.
I’m currently doing my first full rewatch of Buffy since I was a teen and it’s just as well-written, hilarious, and gut-wrenching as I remember. One of the things I definitely didn’t remember, however, was the role food played in the show. As in, it’s barely there! Or when it is, it’s mostly used as a humorous plot point. For example, in season six Buffy takes a job at Doublemeat Palace where there’s a “secret” ingredient in the burgers (which turns out to just be… vegetables).
The most prominent food moments in Buffy actually happen at breakfast. If they’re not burning pancakes, Buffy and her friends are eating cereal. Lots and lots and lots of cereal. And mostly the stuff that is loaded with sugar (“Sugar Bomb” cereal might be favorite of them all).
With that in mind, and for no other reason than the fact that we are obsessed with the show, we decided to relive the glory days of TV and create the ultimate Buffy personality quiz. Here’s what you have to do to play: Pick your favorite character on the show (hard, I know!) and we’ll tell you the cereal that best resembles your soul. Unless, of course, you’re a vampire, then I guess you just don’t have one of those. Sorry!
Please note: If you somehow you haven’t watched Buffy (please get on that), there are going to be some spoiler-y things below.
Willow Rosenberg: Trix
Willow is Buffy’s best friend, and also a very powerful witch. She has one of my favorite characters arcs in the show: She starts off timid and meek, but she really comes into her own at the end of the series (although sometimes this isn’t always a great thing). If you, too, love Willow, then your inner cereal personality is Trix! It’s bubbly and goofy, but also magical just like her at her best self.
Rupert Giles: Grape Nuts
People like to hate on Grape Nuts, but it probably has nothing to do with the actual taste. It’s the packaging!. Just like Giles! On the outside you might think you wouldn’t like the grumpy British librarian, but he is just as lovable and old-school as this never-going-away cereal. So, if you like Buffy’s Watcher, then your inner cereal personality is GRAPE NUTS. Crunchy and surprisingly strong.
Angel is Buffy’s first love interest in the show. He’s a vampire who has a soul, and then loses his soul, and then gets it back, and then goes on to star in a spin-off show (aptly dubbed “Angel“). If you’re on #TeamAngel, then your inner cereal soulmate is classic Cheerios. Not Honey Nut Cheerios, not Banana Nut Cheerios, just…Cheerios.
Cordelia Chase: Fancy Granola
Cordelia is, in my opinion, one of the best comedic forces in all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She gives up being popular to be Xander’s high school girlfriend (bad move, girl) and then kinda falls in love with the whole killing demons thing and ends up on Angel. But make no mistake: She still thinks she’s better than everyone else. Therefore, if your favorite character on Buffy is Cordelia, then your cereal soulmate isn’t really cereal! It’s the fanciest, most expensive store-bought granola at the grocery store.
Xander Harris: Oatmeal
On the opposite end of the cereal spectrum, we have Xander. Oh, Xander. Sometimes you love him, and then other times he opens his mouth and you wonder how anyone could possibly be friends with him, let alone a powerful witch and a vampire slayer. So, if you somehow find Xander’s jokes funny and aren’t bothered by the fact that he left Anya at the alter, then your cereal soulmate is oatmeal. Presented without comment.
Dawn Summers: Lucky Charms (Marshmallows Only)
On my recent rewatch of Buffy, I didn’t hate Dawn as much as I did when I was a teen! In fact, I kinda felt bad for her. She’s THE KEY, she lost her mom, and none of her friends have time for her. Life is hard! But still: she does like to complain a lot and is always getting in trouble. So, if you’re a fan of Dawn, then your cereal soulmate is Lucky Charms — but just the marshmallows. It’s sweet in small doses. In large doses, well…not as great.
Daniel “Oz” Osbourne: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Oz is Willow’s high school boyfriend, who also just happens to be a werewolf. When there isn’t a full moon, Oz is a genuinely good guy who just wants to help the Scooby Gang. SO if you love Oz, your inner cereal personality is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It’s cereal…but it’s also toast! It’s also just really, really sweet.
Tara Maclay: Special K With Strawberries
Tara surprised me on my recent rewatch of Buffy. Sure, she’s a little bit of a wet blanket at the beginning of her arc, but she ends up as the bright spot in season six (albeit tragic). Also, did you HEAR her sing in Once More, With Feeling? Because she can belt with the best of ’em. Anyway, if you love Tara, then your cereal soulmate is Special K with Strawberries. The dried strawberries make this cereal a top cereal, but you wouldn’t necessarily know it until you give it a try.
Riley Finn: Frosted Flakes (That Have Been Sitting in Milk for Too Long)
Poor Riley Finn. He loved Buffy so much, but she never truly loved him back (or at least not in the way she loved her vampire boyfriends). He was strong, he was cute, but outside of that? I’m not sure what else he provided to Buffy or the show. But if you really liked Riley, and somehow thought season four of Buffy was better than the rest of them, then your cereal soulmate is Frosted Flakes that have been sitting in milk for so long that they get all soggy and sad-tasting. Yum!
Spike: Count Chocula
Oh, Spike. Where do I even begin? He’s problematic on many levels (rewatching season six’s Seeing Red was painful and also felt out of sync with the rest of the series). He’s a vampire in love with the slayer, but he also wants to kill her. He’s charming and somehow makes bleached blonde hair look good. So, if you’re #TeamSpike, then your cereal soulmate is Count Chocula. The perfect combination of evil and sweet (mixed with a heavy dose of vampire).
Anya: Honey Bunches of Oats
Anya is an ex-vengeance demon who becomes human and falls in love with Xander (ugh!) and runs the Magic Box. Initially she comes across as a little heartless (I mean, she was a demon, after all!), but as the show goes on she softens up and becomes one of the best characters on the show. If you have a soft spot for Anya, then your cereal soulmate is the always-underrated Honey Bunches of Oats. This cereal sounds like it would be dull, but it’s so good! It’s well-balanced, just the right amount of sweet, and has good crunch.
Buffy Summers: Life
In season five, Buffy Summers learns from the first-ever vampire slayer that “death is her gift.” She struggles with feeling cold and heartless, but as we learn in the end of the season (SPOILERS), her gift is really her….life. SO if you love Buffy, and please — we all love Buffy — then your cereal soulmate is none other than classic Life cereal. Add milk and enjoy.