Sorry, Braspberries Are the Silliest Grocery Product Ever
Inventing “braspberries” might be the silliest thing Justin Timberlake has ever done, including that time he wore a full denim suit — matching denim fedora and all — to the American Music Awards in 2001.
It all started back in December when Justin Timberlake added another slash to his resume and became a singer/dancer/actor/fruit pioneer by going viral with an Instagram video introducing people to the “braspberry,” which is what Timberlake calls it when he puts a blueberry inside a raspberry and eats it as one piece.
“Is it a coincidence that the blueberry fits in the raspberry perfectly? I think not,” he said, adding the hashtag #Braspberry.
Timberlake has more than 49.8 million followers on Instagram, so hundreds of thousands of people reacted to the fruit combo, calling it “ingenious” and something we’d all have to try. Then last week Timberlake appeared in a new Bai commercial, again making his beloved braspberries.
A joke jumping from Instagram video to TV commercial is not uncommon, especially with a celebrity spokesperson involved. But now braspberries have become an actual product for people to buy in grocery stores, because it’s 2018 and nothing makes sense anymore.
Driscoll’s, one of the biggest berry companies in the country, announced its newest product on Instagram with a photo of a plastic clamshell box full of raspberries with blueberries stuffed inside them.
“New berry launch!” Driscoll’s wrote. “Fresh from the farm, #Braspberries are an out of this world flavor combination! @justintimberlake, be on the lookout in a grocery store near you.”
Driscoll’s says the packaged, hand-assembled braspberries are not in stores yet, but they’re working on it. It stills seems colossally silly, though. Someone has to put all those blueberries inside the raspberries by hand, so one can only imagine what the berries will cost. And we already have the option of putting a blueberry and a raspberry in our mouths at the same time.
Besides, if we were going to create a labor-intensive fruit combo, there are much more interesting things we could have tried, like putting an orange inside a grapefruit and calling it an #orapefruit. Or we could replace cherry pits with raisins and call them #cherraisins. And a cherry is about the size of a peach pit, so we could put a raisin inside a cherry and put that inside a peach, and it’d be like a turducken of fruit.
As long as we’re expending a ton of effort to put fruits together, why not go through an entire watermelon and replace all the seeds with pomegranate seeds? We could call it a #watergranate. And I think putting an apple inside a pineapple would be delicious, but we’d have to call it a #pineapple, and that would just get confusing.