Marge Perry

We asked Marge to tackle one of Kitchn’s most divisive questions we’ve ever received: Is it OK to ask your friend for money for Thanksgiving? Dear Marge, A friend just invited me to his home for Thanksgiving dinner — and asked me to pay $50 upfront. I understand that hosting can be expensive, and I wouldn’t mind being asked to bring a dish, but asking guests for cash seems incredibly rude. Am I crazy to be a bit miffed? Has anyone else experienced this?

My friends and I have a regular Zoom cocktail hour once a week. I love seeing them (I MISS them!!!) but one friend not only slurps her drink, she snacks really loudly throughout the call.

Our etiquette columnist weighs in.

I'm hosting Christmas dinner this year and my mother wants to bring shrimp cocktail as an hors d'oeuvre. I appreciate the offer, but the problem is that I have a severe shellfish allergy and am sensitive to cross-contamination, which she knows.

I really love what I'm making!

I have ongoing stomach issues. Sometimes my stomach makes really loud, nasty-sounding snarls, and other times… well, I can’t always control my, uh, flatulence.

She didn't offer.

I don't want to seem petty.

The Ketogenic, Paleo, and Atkins diets are all low-carb, but they have important differences that could help determine which is right for you. Here’s a rundown on the underlying philosophies, food dos and don’ts, and pros and cons of each. This granddaddy of popular low-carb diets began in the 1970s, and by 2004, when it was known as the “Steak and Eggs Diet,” supposedly one out of 11 adults was on the diet.

The keto diet is getting a lot of buzz lately. Are you considering trying it out to see how it makes you feel this year? We’ve rounded up a bunch of recipes (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) to get you started, but before you jump in let’s get back to the basics: What can (and can’t) you eat exactly? Doing keto right means getting into a state of ketosis, or where your body burns fat rather than carbs for fuel.

The Keto diet takes some getting used to. At first, it may be hard to follow, but as long as you know what you’re getting into, the transition to a keto lifestyle — and the weight loss and health benefits — may really be worth it. Many people find the food really satisfying, but get tripped up by these potential pitfalls. It is incredibly satisfying and a vital source of fuel, but that doesn’t mean you should indulge mindlessly.

Okay, first: Vodka, whiskey, tequila, and other clear spirits have zero carbs. Wine has about two grams of carbs per glass, and Champagne has one gram. But before you toast your good luck at being able to drink, there are a few things you need to know. Drinking will probably slow your weight loss down, even if you choose a no-carb option, because your body will use (metabolize) alcohol before fat. Once it’s burned, you’ll go back into ketosis, so all you lost was a little time.

Dear Marge, I’m planning my annual Friendsgiving, and I don’t want to repeat my hosting crisis from last year — but I’m not sure what I can do to prevent it. I love to entertain, even in my small place. I plan my menu really carefully and try to make the table look beautiful. Last year, I invited as many friends as I could fit (12!), and scrounged to make the seating work around my regular table plus a borrowed folding table.

Dear Marge, Can you please settle an argument for us? My partner says that when we go to our friends’ house for dinner and bring a bottle of wine, they should serve it. I point out that means the reverse is also true — so if friends bring over a bottle of crisp white and we’ve splurged on big, beautiful steaks, that’s what we’d have to pour. My partner’s response is that guests should ask what’s being served and bring a bottle that goes with it.

This week Marge tackles a question for a reader whose mother-in-law is giving her daughter sweets even when she has repeatedly asked her not to. What is she supposed to do?

Dear Marge, I think my friend is faking food allergies. We go to restaurants and she has long conversations with the waiter about how she will get really sick if there is even a hint of … and then she names like seven or eight foods she can’t eat. And when any of us want to get together at each other’s houses, it becomes this whole big production to make something she will eat.

I asked her really nicely to please respect my stuff in the fridge, and she acted as if she didn’t know what I was talking about.

Dear Marge, My friends and family think I am a control freak because I don’t want them in my kitchen when I am working. They even tease me about it — and totally ignore the fact that I don’t want everyone underfoot in my small kitchen while I am trying to get food out for dinner. I find it really distracting, and I need to focus on what needs to get done to get everything plated nicely and on the table while it is still hot.

Dear Marge, My friend is incredibly devoted to her dog, and feels like when she is not at work, she wants to bring her dog everywhere with her, including my house. Her dog is great, and when it is just the two (or, I should say three) of us hanging out, I don’t mind as much.

Dear Marge, I don’t really like sharing drinks or biting from someone’s food to taste it. All too often I am in the situation when a coworker or friend hands me their drink or something they’re eating and says, “Oh, you have to try this!” Once someone was so pushy I finally cut a piece from the end she hadn’t bitten into, and then she looked at me like I was a freak. Well, maybe when it comes to germs I am.