The Kitchn Archive: Aug 2018

The 50-year reign of Red Delicious as the most dominant apple variety in American orchards is OVER AT LONG LAST. According to the U.S. Apple Association, the new ruler over the apple domain is the far superior Gala apple. This year, U.S. grocers will produce 52.4 million boxes of Gala apples compared to 51.7 million Red Delicious, proving one thing: The American people have spoken and they demand tastier apples.

Any kid who grew up with parents of the cacao-loving hippie generation or thought themselves sneaky by stealing a bite of baking chocolate has come face to face with the bitter realities of unsweetened cacao. In this Reddit video, the mom — exasperated with her kid’s begging for a taste of the 100% cacao powder —finally gives in and lets him teach himself a lesson. The results tiptoe the line between heartbreaking and hilarious.

Who among us can’t relate to this giant swarm of bees that’s currently being gently suctioned off of this Times Square hot dog cart by an unbelievably calm member of the NYPD? Anyone? Anyone at all? If this apocalyptic image speaks to you, maybe you’ve been lured to Times Square by the siren song of a street cart hot dog at least once in your lifetime? (*Raises hand.*) This is an example of herd mentality at its finest.

Do you want an endless supply of peppermint bark and an outlet for an overwhelming compulsion to tell total strangers about how great Instant Pots are? Williams Sonoma may have the answer. The retail giant is looking to hire around 3,500 work-from-home customer service employees between now and November. The jobs come with a sweet employee discount that could keep a person rolling in peppermint bark until April.

The year: 1994. The scene: my elementary school lunchroom. The surroundings: kids with Lunchables. Cracker-and-cheese Lunchables, taco Lunchables, waffle Lunchables, and the Lunchables to end all Lunchables — the pizza Lunchables. For a scrawny 8-year-old girl, there’s a surprising amount of envy flowing through my body. That’s because my super-frugal parents don’t buy me Lunchables.

The Great British Bake Off is coming back to U.S. television — but this time around it will be without Mary Berry (we’ll miss her kindly fibs!) and the original hosts, Mel and Sue. Paul Hollywood (oh he of goateed glory) and new co-judge Prue Leith will be joined by comedian hosts Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig. None of this is new knowledge — after all, this all-new cast already aired last fall when the beloved show moved from the BBC to Channel 4 in England.

There are a lot of things that might keep you up at night right now. Is the world going to go down in flames? Will I be able to afford retirement one day? Why did my crush not like that Instagram post about my lunch? Well, it’s time to push all of those thoughts and fears aside, because this cookie rival story trumps everything. When you think of chocolate cookies filled with creme, you probably think of Oreos (or TJ’s Joe-Joe’s if you’re a super fan).

Indra Nooyi announced that she was stepping down as CEO from PepsiCo just two weeks ago, but before she ends her 12-year reign officially on October 3, she’s doing one more big thing for the Fortune 500 company: buying SodaStream. It was announced today that PepsiCo is buying the DIY sparkling-water giant, SodaStream, for $3.2 billion. Nooyi says the purchase aligned with the PepsiCo’s “philosophy of making more nutritious products while limiting our environmental footprint.

When we came across this hack, in which soft tortillas are transformed into hard-shell tacos using nothing but a toaster, we were slightly skeptical. How on earth could just a few minutes of toasting make a floppy flour tortilla the same consistency as a Crunchwrap Supreme? The only way to prove the skeptics wrong was to test this trick out myself on my own turf, in my own toaster, on my own terms.

Here at The Kitchn, we’re fascinated by grocery trends. We have Google alerts for the most obscure of topics, talk to experts about new product releases, pore over the nitty-gritty details within industry reports, and are constantly conducting feet-on-the-ground trend analysis (when we grocery shop, of course). So when we came across this buzzy essay in Philadelphia Magazine arguing how and why millennials killed mayonnaise, we eagerly clicked to learn more.

What kind of cybernetic enhancements would you get, if you could get any kind of cool mechanical devices attached to your body? I think I’d want a pair of super-fast running legs like the Bionic Woman (but an extra set of giant mechanical arms like Doctor Octopus from Spider-Man would be pretty great, too!). Cooking would be so much faster if I had two extra sets of arms, and cleaning would be a breeze.

What’s the most you’ve ever tipped on a restaurant bill? Was it because your server went absolutely above and beyond? Was it because it was the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Was it because you were celebrating a recent bonus at work? Was it because you drank too much wine and lost all mathematical abilities? Was it an act of defiance against the injustice of measly waitstaff compensation (which often depends on unreliable sources of generous gratuity to become a living wage)?

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with plastic. Perhaps you have too, Because the problem with our plastic-filled world is a topic that has become impossible to ignore. First, there was that awful, horrible video about the turtle with a plastic straw in 2015 (watch at your own risk). This year there was the June 2018 National Geographic cover unveiled in May, with an arresting photo of a plastic shopping bag partially submerged in the ocean, giving the illusion of an iceberg.