A Short History of Your Life, Told in Cherries
You can define any period of your life based on certain things: the clothes you wore, your favorite bands, your hairstyle, and even what kind of cherries (or cherry-flavored things) you liked. It sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Take a tour through your life (from childhood to now) by following along with this list of graduating cherry preferences.
Age 5: Maraschino Cherries for Ice Cream and All the Shirley Temples
These are the cherries you eat when you are a child. You beg your mom at the grocery store to get you seven of these little jars. (Side note: Why are they so tiny? Just 10 ounces of these neon fruit orbs are not enough!) You love ordering Shirley Temples because it sounds cool — and they come with maraschino cherries. You also like to eat these cherries on top of your ice cream and just out of the jar when no one is looking. Again, because you are a child.
More on Maraschino Cherries
- Make Your Own Maraschino Cherries
- An Unscientific Taste Test of Maraschino Cherries
Age 7: Luden’s Throat Drops in Wild Cherry — The Ones You Get When You’re Sick Enough to Stay Home from School.
The first medicine you’re given as a kid that doesn’t taste entirely disgusting! In fact, these things are downright delicious! You want them all the time. Luckily, you think you’re coming down with something. Cough cough.
Age 11: Cherry Coke at Your Girlfriend’s Pizza Party Sleepover.
What is this sweet, sweet bubble water? And how do you get more of it? You thought you liked soda before, but this cherry stuff is even sweeter than the regular stuff.
Age 12: Cherry-Flavored Italian Ice on a Very, Very Boring Family Road Trip.
You’re still a kid and, of course, would prefer to have ice cream. But when your parents suggest stopping for Italian ice, you’re all in. Because you can get cherry-flavored frozen water that’s super sugary and sure to turn your mouth bright red, which is hilarious to you and your older brother.
Age 15: Bing Cherries at Your Friend’s House. (Her Mom Was Obsessed with Farmers Markets Before They Were Cool.)
The first time you had a Bing cherry, you were probably pretty confused. Someone offered you a cherry. You accepted. And then that person handed you a bowl of these so called “cherries.” Why aren’t they swimming in juice and glow-in-the-dark red? These things aren’t cherries!
Age 16: Chocolate-Covered Cherries You Sneak Out of Your Mom’s Valentine’s Box.
You’re a teen now and it’s Valentine’s Day. Your dad got a box of these for your mom (because he didn’t have enough time to think of anything better!) and you stole one. Or three. The chocolate and white cream part are fine, but it’s that maraschino cherry you’re after.
Age 17: Cherry Pie at Your Cool Aunt’s Backyard BBQ.
Dessert is supposed to be chocolatey or ice cream-y. You never understood why adults liked fruit in their sweets, but you’re older now and you’re finally starting to come around. Because cherry pie is sweet. And it’s tart. And it’s magical.
Some Cherry Pie Recipes
Age 19: Luxardo Cherries in Your Drink at a Very Swanky College Party.
Luxardo cherries are maraschino cherries for grown-ups! And the jar is slightly bigger than the kiddie stuff. You can plop these into a drink or eat them right out of the jar and you can get your fix without feeling too childish.
Age 21: Manhattans at Your 21st Birthday Party.
Now that you know that you like Luxardo cherries, you can’t help but order a Manhattan any chance you get. They’re the new Shirley Temple!
Make some at home: The Manhattan
Age 35: Infants’ Tylenol Cherry Flavor for Your New Baby.
Congrats on your new baby! Babies don’t know what cherries taste like, and yet, for some reason, their Tylenol is cherry-flavored. It’s weird, but you’ll turn to it soon when your little nugget has a fever. Then, in a few years, you’ll give him his first maraschino cherry — and you’ll steal a couple for yourself.