5 Reasons the Beer Can Totally Crushes the Beer Bottle

published Jan 25, 2017
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(Image credit: Erin Wengrovius)

We’ve all been there, whether at a housewarming, engagement brunch, or Super Bowl party: You open the fridge to see a phalanx of beer bottles on one shelf, and then a stack of beer cans on another. Assuming, for the purposes of this exercise, that the cans and bottles are the same brand — which do you choose?

Based on the following five reasons, I say you should, without hesitation, reach for an icy-cold … can. Here’s why.

1. Cans keep beer fresher.

It’s a fact: When beer is exposed to light and its pesky UV rays, the holy carbondated liquid contained within starts losing its flavor. And this is not a good thing. Opaque cans keep light out, and your beer tastes better. Plus, a can’s seal is more reliable than the one on a bottle. Thanks, science!

2. They’re easier to put in the fridge.

As any bar back can tell you, it’s significantly easier to fill an entire fridge full of beer when it’s in cans rather than in bottles. Don’t believe me? Try stacking up a few dozen bottles without at least one of them rolling out onto the kitchen floor and shattering in a mess of glass and beer. I’ll wait.

3. Cans are easier to open.

So you’ve spotted a bottle of your favorite organic microbrew IPA that was hidden way in the back of the refrigerator. You grab it, pull it out, laughing and joking with fellow partygoers the whole time. Feel pretty cool, huh? Then — oh man, it’s not a twist off, is it? You start to sweat. People are looking at you funny. Your eyes dart around looking for a bottle opener, but you see nothing. What’s a thirsty gal to do?

4. There’s no bottle cap to awkwardly deal with.

Here’s an experience every single beer drinker in history has had: You grab a beer bottle, open it up, and then realize you have no idea what you’re supposed to do with the cap. Leave it on the counter? Obnoxious. Seek out the nearest trash can? Who are you, Magellan? That’s why you stand there holding it for the duration of the party — or, perhaps, put it in your back pocket only to hear it clinking around the dryer a week later. Thanks for being cap-less, cans!

5. Ever try crushing a bottle against your head?

I sincerely hope not. Even if you’re not going for the barbaric move, you can gently crush a can with your hand and slip it into the recycling can. This way, more empties can fit into the receptacle and there’s less worrying about taking the stuff outside.

Which would you choose?