101 Reasons I Don’t Have to Do the Dishes Right Now

You just finished eating dinner and now you have a gigantic pile of dishes in the sink waiting to be cleaned. What do you do? Here is a list of 101 reasons for putting them off until tomorrow. Do with it what you will.

1. I just finished eating and I need to sit here and digest a little.

2. My favorite TV show just started.

3. My feet hurt.

4. This couch is super comfy right now.

5. I had a long day at work.

6. I have a headache all of a sudden.

7. My back hurts.

8. The kitchen is all the way over there.

9. Maybe I’ll call my mom first and then I’ll do the dishes.

10. It’s my grandpa’s birthday, I should call him too.

11. I need to post my dinner to Instagram.

12. I got a notification on Twitter.

13. I haven’t scrolled through my Newsfeed in a couple hours. What if something happened?

14. I should read that New York Times article I’ve been putting off for a couple weeks now.

15. Just one more glass of wine.

16. I’m feeling kinda gross right now.

17. I ate too much.

18. I did the dishes last night.

19. I still haven’t showered after going to the gym and should probably do that instead.

20. That pan is probably still cooling off, anyway.

21. The dishwasher is broken.

22. The dishwasher is full from last night’s dishes.

23. I ran out of soap for the dishwasher, and it kinda feels like a waste of time to do them by hand, you know? I’ll just get the soap tomorrow and do the dishes then.

24. I don’t have any clean dish towels to dry stuff off. I’ll do the laundry tomorrow, I promise.

25. I really need to get new sponges before I do the dishes, they are kinda gnarly.

26. Don’t I have to do something special with that cast iron skillet? Ugh, I’ll research that later.

27. I told my boss I’d get this special project in tomorrow, so I need to work on that.

28. It’s really late and I should probably just go to bed.

29. I always brush my teeth after eating, so I’m going to go do that.

30. I’m in the middle of a really good movie.

31. I’m in the middle of a mediocre movie but I’m too lazy to stop watching it.

32. I made something instead of just ordering in, shouldn’t I reward myself and just not do the dishes?

33. I can just do them tomorrow morning.

33. I need to take my dog for a walk.

34. My cat needs some affection, I’ve been away all day and you can tell she really missed me.

35. If I don’t do laundry right now, I won’t do it later, and I really need that shirt for tomorrow.

36. I need to check my email.

37. I need to change my plane ticket for my trip in a couple weeks.

38. I’m in the middle of reorganizing my Pinterest boards.

39. I need to prep for my interview tomorrow.

40. I should update my photo on LinkedIn.

41. I should change clothes before I do the dishes so I don’t get anything gross on my favorite outfit.

42. I like taking long walks immediately after eating so I can digest.

43. My stomach hurts; I should probably drink some ginger ale and just relax for a bit.

44. My foot fell asleep.

45. Ugh, it’s really hot in the kitchen right now, maybe I’ll wait until the AC kicks in.

46. Maybe I’m pregnant; I should take a test really quick.

47. Oh shoot, I need to get a pregnancy test from the drugstore.

48. I need to bottle my homemade kombucha before it goes bad.

49. Maybe I’ll bake some brownies right now.

50. It’s Friday night.

51. It’s Monday night.

52. My roommate promised me they would do the dishes today.

53. My friend just asked me to come over and that sounds like way more fun.

54. I’m running late to my friend’s house.

55. I went to the gym today and I am a good person.

56. It’s my birthday.

57. I have to go to the bathroom.

58. There was fraudulent activity on my credit card.

59. I need to pay my bills.

60. I’m trying to meditate every day and I forgot the last three days and I should probably do that right now instead.

61. I don’t want my tea to get cold.

62. I have a sudden urge to write a haiku.

63. I think I heard a mouse in the kitchen and just really don’t want to go in there right now.

64. Just five more minutes.

65. Okay, just 10 more minutes.

66. I should take out my contacts.

67. There aren’t that many dishes tonight; they can probably be left until tomorrow.

68. I need to vent to my significant other about work.

69. I’m snuggling.

70. I promised my significant other that I’d give them a back rub yesterday and I didn’t, so I need to make up for it right now.

71. There’s no hot water in my apartment.

72. The water has been turned off in my apartment for the next couple hours for some building maintenance or whatever. No, I have no idea what they’re doing.

73. Just a quick nap and then I’ll get to the dishes.

74. I just got a new cookbook and I’ve been looking forward to flipping through it all day and now is the perfect time.

75. My friend just sent me a Snapchat.

76. I haven’t looked through all the mail yet today.

77. I’m just going to finish this glass of water first.

78. There’s some crusty stuff on the bottom of my Dutch oven that is hard to get off. I’m just going to let it soak for a little bit longer.

79. I need to clean my bedroom first.

80. Impromptu dance party?

81. I want to spend quality time with my family.

82. I went for a quick run earlier today and I didn’t stretch and now I’m feeling kinda achy. I should probably stretch right now.

83. There’s an important AMA happening on Reddit and I don’t want to miss out.

84. I’m in the middle of a chess match.

85. I’m a little tipsy right now.

86. I’m drunk.

87. It’s election night and I want to see who is going to be the next President of the United States.

88. I just painted my nails and now I’m waiting for them to dry.

89. I just watched something really sad and now I’m crying and I need to calm down a little bit before I can wash the dishes.

90. It’s New Year’s Eve and the ball is about to drop.

91. My significant other proposed to me during dinner, so I get a free pass tonight.

92. My garbage disposal is broken and I’m too lazy to just throw stuff out in the trash; I’ll fix it tomorrow morning.

93. I have a hangnail and it really hurts.

94. I dropped a glass on the floor and it shattered and now I need to clean that up instead.

95. The mice need to eat, too.

96. I just got a breaking news alert on my phone and need to see what happened.

97. I’m trying to get back at my roommate for not doing the dishes last weekend, so I’m going to leave mine in there for a week too and see how she likes it.

98. My adult coloring book just came in the mail and I’m so excited.

99. I’m taking a stand against doing the dishes, why hasn’t someone solved this problem yet? Why is this still a thing that we have to do? Revolt!

100. I ran out of that good-smelling dish soap and only have that gross stuff my roommate bought. Gross.

101. I just don’t feel like it, OK?