10 Totally Heinous Crimes Against Salad That Need to Be Stopped

published Jun 10, 2015
We independently select these products—if you buy from one of our links, we may earn a commission. All prices were accurate at the time of publishing.
Post Image
(Image credit: Serhiy Kobyakov)

By now you may be familiar with the popular Internet meme, “women laughing alone with salad.” If you’re not familiar, the concept is easy to understand: Picture a stock photo of a woman all by herself, eating a boring-looking salad and laughing hysterically. Salad deserves better PR than this. Because honestly, laughing by yourself with a bowl full of raw vegetables should be outlawed. It’s just wrong.

This meme sparked an investigation into other crimes against salad that are widespread on the Internet. I turned to a collection of stock photos to find the worst offenders. Prepare your eyes, my friends. No food deserves this kind of treatment – especially poor ol’ salad.

Crime #1: Laughing and eating salad at the same time

This lady has never had so much fun eating salad before in her life, but why? Hate to break it to her, but that salad she’s holding looks super boring. I hope there is some secret dressing that we can’t see that gives her that much joy.

(Image credit: vgstudio)

Crime #2: Eating salad with a spoon

This nutso thinks salad should be eaten with a spoon. How do you think she’s going to pick up that broccoli and pepper in the same spoonful, huh? Get it together. Use proper utensils.

(Image credit: Shefstoff Women Girls)

Crime #3: Eating a salad while wearing headphones

This lady is subjecting herself to loud crunchy noises because she insists on wearing headphones while she eats. Painful. This gives salad a bad rap. Not cool, lady.

(Image credit: Piotr Marcinski)

Crime #4: Eating a salad that only has greens

This woman is only eating freaking lettuce from a bowl. Just greens does not a salad make. That’s just weird.

(Image credit: Sergiy Bykhunenko)

Crime #5: Shredded carrots

This kid needs to COOL IT on the shredded carrots. In fact, she might as well turn those carrots into something else – like hummus – because they certainly don’t belong in salad. Wet shredded carrots are the worst.

(Image credit: Africa Studio)

Crime #6: Adding salt to the top layer of your salad

This weirdo thinks it’s totally normal to have a GIANT piece of lettuce sit on top of his salad bowl and dump salt on top of it. Give up while you’re ahead.

(Image credit: foto infont)

Crime #7: Thinking you’re too cool to wear a shirt while eating a salad

This guy can’t eat a salad with his shirt on. Seriously, there are multiple shots of him on Shutterstock with various wimpy bites of salad and no shirt to be seen.

(Image credit: Eugenia Lucasenco)

Crime #8: Not attempting to get the perfect bite

This girl doesn’t understand the concept of a “good bite.” You’re supposed to get as many ingredients as you can into one bite without overloading your fork. She failed on all accounts.

(Image credit: Piotr Marcinski)

Crime #9: Not opening your mouth enough to eat salad

This weirdo is trying to smile and eat at the same time, and is failing at both. One or the other, missy.

(Image credit: Subbotina Anna)

Crime #10: Treating salad as an accessory

Salad is for eating, not for wearing. This person is totally disrespecting this concept by wearing salad as a wig and as clothing. Very rude.