What's Your Choice for a Universal Hostess Gift?

Hostess gifts are tricky. The gist is that they should be for the host or hostess themselves to enjoy after the guests depart, not something to contribute to the overall spread. While many folks do flowers or wine, there has to be something a bit more personal yet still universal, no?

I went to a daytime gathering last weekend and brought a vibrant, festive poinsettia for the hostess. Who doesn't like poinsettias? Well apparently they're quite difficult to keep alive and this particular couple had a cat (and the leaves can be quite poisonous for pets). Oops. Wine is often the safest choice because everyone does it, but then again, not knowing the host's taste can make it a difficult decision. And when the party's over and everyone is long gone, you generally don't remember who brought which bottle so it can end up feeling a little arbitrary.

At a party I recently hosted, a friend brought me candied citrus peels from a local baker. Another friend brought jam. And yet another brought a framed photo she'd taken while with me earlier that year. Each was thoughtful and unexpected in their own way, and each I've enjoyed while thinking of that individual person in a way I just wouldn't have with a bottle of wine.

So what's the best choice for a universal hostess gift? Something small and thoughtful from your local community that reminds you of that person? Something you've shared together in the past that you know they'll enjoy? I, for one, am moving away from plants and wine, and trying to bring something more personalized this year. A small token, often edible, of my appreciation for having folks over. I've been bringing local honey and spiced nuts lately. I'd love to hear what you're doing.

(Image: Flickr member ohthecuteness licensed for use under Creative Commons)

Comments (30)

I alternate between rosemary walnuts (walnut halves baked with butter, rosemary, salt and cayenne, to be served warm), lavender sachets I make myself, and picture frames. Everyone has a photo to display but no time for a frame. Every now and then I go to Ross and pick up about 5 in various styles and have them on hand. All my gifts are welcome!

Hand-knit dishclothes or baked goods are generally my go to hostess gifts.

I attended a luncheon party yesterday and brought a homemade mixture of cinnamon and vanilla sugar in a Weck Jar. Everyone liked it!

So I get that the hostess gift is not intended to be used for the party at hand, and I'm not really a grown up so maybe this is beside the point, but if someone brings a bottle of wine to me, as the hostess, I'm probably going to open that sucker up and we're going to have a glass right away. Am I a bad hostess-gift-receiver?

Every summer I make tomato sauce (last year, from 800 pounds of tomatoes!). Like my Italian grandmother, that is my go-to hostess gift. And it's my go-to new baby gift, shower gift...something you can't buy in a store!

This all seems a bit odd to me. We always just brought things to make that particular meal/whatever easier, helped out during the event, and would try to help out a little during cleanup if we could.

I'd much rather have help than something to enjoy later which I may or may not like/need.

@mabith: For me it really depends on the event. For a small dinner party I always bring a bottle of wine giving the host to serve it or save it.

However, if I'm invited to a larger party, I'm sorry but the last thing I want to do is help clean up or run the party. I have plenty of my own parties and I would never expect any guest to lift a finger... and I always deter them from doing so... after all, they are guests.

I frequently bring a food gift that I've made: herb compound butter (frozen), onion relish, jam, olives. Something that doesn't require immediate attention, is a homemade treat my host/ess might not make for themselves.

I bring the Barefoot Contessa's rosemary roasted cashews... been making a lot around this time of year! I put them in jars and tie it up with a ribbon.

I make chocolates, so some version of that is usually my go-to for a host gift. Filled chocolates or chocolate covered nuts presented in an edible chocolate box - or - custom candy bars tailored to their particular tastes. If I'm traveling out of town then I try to bring a bottle of wine from a local winery but if wine isn't appropriate then a coffee table book or cookbook from my local area (especially if the cookbook is from somewhere we dined together on their visit).

@ohwoah, if you aren't a grown up, aka adult, maybe you shouldn't be getting a bottle of wine as a gift, especially if you are so eager to "open that sucker up"...

I always bring homemade brittle. I am fan of the salted pistachio brittle posted on The Kitchn and have created fans of my pecan white chocolate brittle. I love giving homemade gifts :) they always seem to be more thoughtful.

@ohwoah, there's nothing wrong with opening a bottle of wine that's been brought as a hostess gift--the wrong thing would be for the person who brought it to EXPECT you to open it. At parties where the host has made an effort to coordinate food/drinks for the menu it can be annoying for a guest to insist on opening their bottle of 3 buck chuck. But the good thing about being a hostess is--you get to decide! So if you want to go ahead and open a hostess bottle to share with your guests, or you get a container of spiced nuts that looks too delicious not to share, there's nothing wrong with opening them up.

I love hostess gifts, but I do try to bring things that aren't going to be confused with "I'm contributing to the menu" items since I am a careful party menu planner myself and don't really like to incorporate stuff at the last minute that doesn't "go." My favorites to give are pretty wrapped baked goods, homemade jam or jelly, and, of course, chocolate. Not very exciting, but always delicious.

@ohwoah, no, you're not! It should always be the choice of the host to open or save the host gift (not all guests realize or honor this). A guest should never expect the host to alter their menu last minute, to accommodate a gift, or stop their party preparations to arrange a fresh bouquet of flowers. I always bring my gift to a party saying 'a little something for you for after the party' or I keep it in my bag and leave it on an out of the way table as I depart. If it's a host gift for somewhere I'm staying, I present it on arrival, then I follow-up with a note & flowers afterward thanking them for the stay.

BTW, I've been discouraged by beekeepers from bringing my local honey on visits, I'm not at all well-versed in beekeeping procedures but there seems to be some belief that it carries pathogens that might impact their hives. Has anyone else been told this - and - can you expand on it? I'm perplexed.

Not everyone likes wine! We do, but we don't drink it unless we have a party. So we our bar cabinet is consistently overflowing with wine. It's nice to always have a bottle to open for parties, but we often do punch or hard cider, so the wine doesn't always get drunk.

I always ask if there's anything I can bring and let the host/ess decide. People do this with our parties and sometimes it's really nice to say, "Could you bring a bag of ice?" because I always forget it or "Bring your favorite dessert" so I can focus on the entree bit of the meal.

I've never received flowers, but we don't have enough room in our house to do traditional dinner parties, so we often to potluck-y-type things. Flowers or any kind of seasonal arrangement would be lovely.

I only bring consumables--depending on the person, usually a bottle of wine and a loaf of fresh bread and jam or cheese. The expectation is that they will use it later, not at that time (though if they want to fine). Personally, I also like to be given consumables--I am trying to pare down my belongings and am really trying not to bring new stuff into my house. But that is just me.

Oh, and I never want anyone (except the hubster) to help clean up. I like giving people the night off when they come to our place and I like doing the clean up myself--it gives us a chance to review the night. Again, that is just me.

My favourite gift is a bottle of chilled champagne, which I will open straight away.

Quote "BTW, I've been discouraged by beekeepers from bringing my local honey on visits, I'm not at all well-versed in beekeeping procedures but there seems to be some belief that it carries pathogens that might impact their hives. Has anyone else been told this - and - can you expand on it? I'm perplexed."

That makes no sense whatsoever. Opening and eating a jar of honey in a home in no way spreads pathogens to other beehives! If that was truly the case how could you sell honey in a grocery store? Shoot, that stuff all comes from China - beware the pathogens!

I try to make it something personal and, if possible, handmade. Jars of jam or pickles that I've put up, or some other tasty tidbit, or hand-knit dishcloths have made the cut. If the friend has young children, I might bring something for the child. I have a friend who loves candles and is happy to receive them.

I bring cloth napkins or good olive oil - both necessities, but nice indulgences at the same time.

Anything, just RSVP.

I do get annoyed with big bundles of flowers from the grocery store. I love to receive flowers but it is a hassle at exactly the wrong time. And you HAVE to deal with them.

My usual circle of friends is so close that we all don't bring anything - just a return-invite in the near future. But tonight, we're going to the Admiral's mansion! I'm bringing homemade (and hand-picked) pear-ginger marmalade and spiced cider jelly. I give these to acquaintances for the holidays, too. It's nice to slip a square of festive fabric under the ring to dress up the jars, no wrapping required. Throughout the summer, I enjoy looking forward to the holidays and parties in the year to come as I make my hostess assortments!

Sweets. You can never have too many sweets. Well unless its for someone that lives alone and you're not sure about their sweet tooth status... (If its 2 or more people living together than you know at least one person there likes them. Its statistically impossible to have that many sweets haters in such a small sample pool.)

Things that get used quickly (chocolate, jam, wine, flowers) and are best. Please don't bring a framed picture and expect me to put it up.

I think baked goods they can enjoy for breakfast the next day is the best and they deserve it after hosting a party!

@PineTree: clearly not a beekeeper but, really, how does being rude help answer the question.

I usually go with wine myself, but I just hosted a holiday/housewarming party and several people brought me Christmas tree ornaments, which I really, really loved and wasn't expecting at all! It's such a simple, inexpensive gift and I love the idea of getting to remember who gave it to us year after year.

Of course, you'd have to know that the host was the sort to have a Christmas tree in the first place, and I guess it wouldn't work very well if someone had one of those very coordinated gold-baubles-only trees, but I like eccentric ornaments!

Clementimes or satsumas are nice. I know eventually some people get sick of cookies, chocolate, coffee and wine (but not me...) and a lot of people have nut allergies. Something festive and you can put them in a nice basket!

I bring bourbon.

I will usually bring a bottle of good balsamic vinegar, if I don't know them that well. Although, that stuff can be EXPENSIVE. My favorite vinegar runs about $30/bottle. So if that's more than you're willing to spend, something home made is always good (I like the flavored nuts, etc). We aren't wine drinkers, but I don't think I would hold it against someone if they brought us wine :)

I would just serve it that night instead... I feel like getting an actual "gift" (i.e., picture frame) may be kinda weird.... although I'm still a relatively "young" adult. I figure I'll know that I'm an official "adult" when I start liking wine ;)