Laurie Colwin's "Home Cooking" and "More Home Cooking" are two of my very favorite books. Not just food books, or cookbooks, but books. Comfort food indeed!

TACOS. Everyone likes some kind of taco. Make two kinds of filling (ne meat, one veg) and put out toppings.

When I'm having people over for the first time and I don't know about food allergies or pickiness, I try to keep it simple. A roasted chicken, a starchy side (often homemade dinner rolls or potatoes), a simple veggie, and a fruit salad. That way, with the potential problem categories divided up, they can pick and choose as needed. A baked potato bar or a taco bar is also a fun way to work around different preferences.

I agree with the previous comment. You can't go wrong with pasta, chicken and some kind of vegetable. Most picky eaters know if they are going over someones house that their may be something that they don't eat. I've always told my children "don't knock it till you try it".

Jenawithonen, I think I'm the only person ever that doesn't like tacos. I don't like taco seasoning on ground beef, so I guess I could do the vegetarian route.

I tend to make lasagna as I can make a vegetarian version that meat lovers enjoy as well, such as my mushroom lasagna or roasted vegetable lasagna. Vegetable based soups are usually a good go-to, I like pappa al pomodoro, an Italian tomato soup.

I've gotten to the point where I truly dread having people over for meals, which makes me sad because I love cooking and want to share. But between the (ex-)friend who had a laundry list of allergies, sensitivities and dislikes, another friend who is now militantly vegan (and who has an extremely picky child, to boot), and my parents and in-laws, who are diabetic or pre-diabetic, it's just incredibly nerve-wracking trying to come up with things people will eat, and then invariably I end up feeling awful when someone turns up their nose at what I do make. :(

A wise person (speaking of vegans, but it could apply to picky eaters too) said invite those people to a movie or something and save your dinner parties for people who like to eat. Fewer headaches for you and better food for your friends who get good food.

i don't mind accommodating here and there. i enjoy cooking vegan meals sometimes, as sort of a challenge. i do try not to have more than one food-restricted person over for dinner at a time, though.

cooking for truly picky people---the kind who only eat foods in the "orange/yellow/brown" food group, and who faint at the merest shard of onion hiding in their rice dish---definitely makes cooking stressful and rather boring, and i don't invite such people to eat with us unless they're relatives and i can't avoid it. but i suppose, to be fair, that for picky eaters, eating in ANY kind of unfamiliar/unknown situation is probably stressful and rather boring for them, too!

All of the food-related gatherings we've held have involved a potluck aspect. I'm happy to cook around allergies and dietary restrictions (vegetarianism, etc.), but if you are really particular about flavors, I like everyone to be able to, you know, actually EAT.

I was the picky kid when I was younger and I still have a very strong, very odd dislike of tomatoes (my husband is the same way about eggs), so I understand not liking certain flavors or textures...but I've met folks who are EXTREMELY particular about how food is prepared and where it's from (they'll eat this if it's made this way, but NOT if it's made THIS way, etc.). Those folks are free to bring their own snacks ;)

I generally fall back on a pasta bar or a pizza bar (premade crusts (Vicolo cornmeal available fresh and frozen in stores), everyone chooses their toppings, and I pop it in the oven. Another that works is sandwiches, we do that a lot in my home country, set out platters and trays with meats/cheeses/vegetables and condiments and everyone makes sandwiches to their taste.

Ha! You must know some pretty lenient picky eaters... mine would dry heave at the taste of everything on this list but one and five. Broccoli? Double ha!

Brinner (breakfast for dinner). French toast, pancakes, or waffles, bacon or sausage, some form of eggs and a fruit, maybe even some hash brown potatoes! I have yet to have someone over for brinner who left the table hungry. I even have the perfect dessert for a brinner night, the apple or pear oven-pancake.

It's funny, but in Europe, no one we knew was a picky eater. Everyone loved food, celebrated food! (we had 2 vegetarian friends and a few Muslims who avoided pork, but that was it).

There's just something strange going on in North America...

claireunderwear, If the only tacos you've ever had are made with season ground beef, you don't know that you don't like tacos. Carne asada, al pastor, a whole host of amazing vegetarian fillings. I've never been to a taqueria or any credible taco place that served seasoned ground beef. Maybe they're made that way in some homes, but I don't have a whole lot of Mexican friends who eat seasoned ground beef in their tacos, either. That is what my Chinese mother puts in hard taco shells--not an actual taco.

I must be in the minority here, but I'm a vegetarian and I NEVER expect a dinner party host to accommodate my pickiness. I always bring a dish I can eat, or I just eat the things that I can. No need to stress the host out because I don't eat meat!

Philosophically-based vegetarianism and actual allergies aside, picky eaters have no place at my table.

@Urbanmammal. I don't know you but hospitality is something we should all strive for. After all, some may have have entertained angels unawares.

I'm one of those people with an allergy that most people think I'm lying about. I'm allergic to onions and yet my in-laws have invited us over when there's very little I can safely eat. I've learned to bring a tossed salad or something when we go see them.

When I serve for a crowd of people whom I know have issues I go with simple stuff. Cornell Chicken is probably my best bet outside of things like burgers and fries.

I don't invite picky eaters for dinner. Ever. They just aren't very much fun to cook for.

None of my friends have issues with food. No vegetarians, no vegans, no shellfish allergies, no gluten or dairy problems. I do have one adult son of a friend who does not like onions so on the rare occasion he is coming I make the same dishes but leave onion out of a portion. Same with my family. Sometimes I wonder why it worked out this way. But all the time I am just grateful it did.

I ask about allergies and avoid cooking anything with the allergens. If someone is vegetarian or vegan I will make one v-friendly dish, but not the entire meal, and if I have a Muslim or Jewish guest of course I won't serve them pork, which doesn't mean there won't be any charcuteries for my other guests, just that I won't make pork the centerpiece of the meal and I'll serve other starters/hors d'oeuvres too so everybody is happy.

Aside from that I don't accommodate the fussies and the fad dieters. Too much work, no fun whatsoever, and it's too complicated and time-consuming to keep a laundry list of who doesn't like what.
I eat everything when I'm invited out (even, the horror, Brussels sprouts, and in extreme cases I can even force myself to eat offal, if it's at some hipster place where the male of the house equates tripe with manliness), so if it's not a life-threatening allergy, a religious issue/conviction, I'm not going to be accommodating, unless the guests accommodate me as a hostess and propose to bring something they can eat.
Ever tried making a gluten-free vegan low-carbs low-fat humanely raised sustainable raw paleo whatever? Me neither.

My pickiness tends to revolve around what food is cooked in or dressed with. I'll eat almost any meat, and I'll give much fish ago (even things like squid which I'm a bit scared by really). But the minute something is covered in cheese or vinaigrette/balsamic, or any kind of white sauce (only exception being the bechamel on lasagne) I just can't eat it at all. I also don't like the taste of things cooked in butter. Mac & cheese horrifies me! Anything else, even if it's out of my comfort zone, I'd rather try than put my host out. The safest bet for me is always a tomatoey pasta/meat dish, or nicely cooked meat/potatoes/veg.

I prefer to make other plans with my friends than expect them to cook for me though; it's less stressful on both sides!

Also, if someone does make me something I can't eat I'd way rather push it around my plate, pretend to eat it (and genuinely try as best I can, actually) and see if I can pass some to my partner than be that girl complaining, "Oh, I can't eat this because there's XYZ wrong with it" - how mortifying and graceless! Food takes money, time & energy to prepare so one should always be grateful for the effort at least.

Once again, the Kitchn lumps together pickiness with food allergies and religious/ethical dietary restrictions. I know a few people with genuine food allergies, some vegetarians and some who keep Kosher. I would do my best to accommodate all of them (if you cook a vegetarian meal, that just about covers the Kosher rules anyway - it doesn't have to be difficult). If people are strictly observant, they would most likely decline an invitation anyway. I don't know any adults who could be described as picky, though.

THANK YOU Pearmelon.
I don't know any picky eaters. I know people who don't eat variosu things because of health issues, convictions or because eating one bite would make them gag. All those reasons are legitimate in my eyes and I try to accomodate them as much as I can. Sometimes it means I will make several different dishes with little warning signs "this one has tomato !". Cooking without certains ingredients is not impossible, how do you think those people cook eat everyday ? I find it exciting because it forces me to search for recipes and ingredients that I normally wouldn't use. I found a bunch of new favorites this way.

They eat what I make or they starve! JUST KIDDING. Sort of.

If it is a small group of people it's a bit easier to accomidate for allergies, likes and dislikes. If its a larger gathering I just try to have a variety of options and hope for the best. I do know one person who is EXTREAMLY picky on what he eats and its not due to any allergy. He tends to enjoy very bland things and only likes food of certain textures, typically I just assume he'll eat before or try to make due with what i offer.

I only have so much time and money to put into the meal.

I wish that people who have an aversion to a particular food would avoid the nose wrinkle and saying eww when presented with that food. Yes it does hurt the cook's feelings and serves no purpose other than giving me a reason not to cook for you again. I find myself doing it every once in awhile and end up apologizing for my behavior because it is so reflexive

I do not have any friends who are vegan but I have not had anyone turn up their nose at homemade lasagna when I have made the invitation.

Wasn't there a post just like this a couple of months ago?

for picky eaters you have to pick the lowest common denominator in food and run with that. just plain boring food.

I am hosting a christening party soon, and the new mom is (and has always been) one of the pickiest eaters I have ever encountered in my life. She (almost literally) eats only meat (chicken, pork, or beef only), bread, rice, potatoes, or pasta, and cheese. She does not eat any vegetables that I am aware of or any fruit (yes, I know how unheathy this is, and I've told her so on many occassions). Her aversion to fruit and vegetables is so strong that she won't eat anything that might taste like fruit (i.e. a fruit-flavored candy, sour cream and onion chips, etc.). She won't eat tomato sauce (so no pizza, lasagna, etc.). She won't drink fruit-flavored drinks. She basically survives on prepackaged frozen foods (hot pockets) and fast food (plain chicken sandwich or burger - meat, bread, and cheese only). I am shocked that she doesn't have health problems and even more shocked that she was able to have a healthy baby. She took vitamins, though.

Anyway, I am so frustrated trying to plan a menu for the party that will have a few items she will eat.

I love food! All of it. I would eat anything. Then I was diagnosed with Celiac disease (the dreaded gluten free diet..which everyone thinks is a fad) and it has ruined my life but explained all the horrific health problems I was having. It has been such a drag to my social life. I know I am a terrible dinner party guest. Celiac disease has been a social death and deeply depressing.

Picky eaters are not fun to try to cook for. They suck out all the joy in cooking or entertaining. It's one thing if someone has an allergy--I have food allergies and I can work around that, but the faces and the complaining and the just plain bad behaviors make these types of people miserable to be around. I have a friend who prefers eating hot dogs, balony sandwiches, Taco Bell and she doesn't like any of the places that I choose for lunch and will always tell me that she prefers some other place to what I've recommended or like. She will say that she thinks the food is better and then she will make disparaging comments about the restaurants that I may like. It is not fun being around her and I know that if we go to lunch anywhere that whatever we do will be all about her and the choices are very narrow. I don't know what gets with some people, but they are not so much fun to be with.

Ha, we have the allergy/vegan/picky eater issue with our friends. One vegan, a few periodic vegetarians, two really old-school picky eaters, one newly diagnosed Celiac (he's much happier, honestly). We used to get by with pasta or pizza, but the Celiac is going to throw us for a loop if we have them all over at the same time. Celiac brings his own beer now.

Funny thing is that my husband and I will eat pretty much anything. Really. We have two other friends who are the same and will go out with us to any little hole-in-the-wall restaurant to eat spicy organ meats or random pickled items off menus we have to point at to order. It usually balances out.

I serve a random assortment of foods and invite others to bring their favorite dish. We put it all on the buffet and people take what they like. If they're super picky, I always say they can help themselves to whatever is in the fridge or cupboards if they'd like to make themselves something else. If you're close enough to me that you're eating at my home, you're close enough to me to help yourself to my kitchen and not be offended by the offer.

This led to a vegan friend cooking every time she comes over. Which is GREAT because I get to try new to me things and she knows she'll get something she can eat. It works for both of us.

I have a big list of things that I think I can't eat but I almost always try them at someone else's house. Most of my friends are understanding of my food issues and don't make a big deal out of me not being able to eat something because they appreciate me trying.

As someone who's recently been experimenting with gluten-free and dairy-free to try and address some long-standing health issues, this hits home for me. I went through a 30 day strict no gluten, no grains, no dairy, no soy, no added sugar trial, and if we went to someone's house for dinner, I'd grab an apple and a package of macadamia nuts to take with me. I felt miserable rejecting their [very safe for picky eaters] dinner of pasta with meat sauce, but I knew it was just temporary.

On the other side, when I host dinners I cook things that I can eat, but I make sure they're extra delicious. I'm eating Paleo, and I happen to believe that it's extremely healthy and that many modern ailments are cured by reducing grains and sugar in our diets. I recently hosted a Mexican dinner: carnitas, black beans (soaked 36 hours first), green-onion cole slaw, pickled red onions, avocado, and cilantro. I did provide flour and corn tortillas, and chips and salsa. I ate my dinner naked (no tortillas), and other people made themselves tacos. It was delicious. One of my friends said that he didn't realize until after dinner that there was no cheese or sour cream. Meat and vegetables, my friends--they're delicious!

@e_lud I just did the Whole Thirty too - and have already cured myself of my adult-onset asthma. I am not a picky eater in any sense of the word, and I love to cook, but honestly going paleo has opened a whole new world of interesting and super tasty dishes. I would be more than willing to have a dinner party where super picky, vegan, food allergies, and paleo would mix and all happily eat. It really isn't that hard - nor is it offensive. These are my friends. And did I mention I CURED MY ASTHMA with food?!!

A polite guest accepts what the host offers and eats what she can. A good host serves a range of food that can be adapted to restricted diets, and makes sure that guests are neither embarrassed nor ignored. That means, if you serve meat, have a substantial and plentiful vegetable dish(vegan) to go with it. Make sure there is food everyone can eat, but it needn't be the entree. One person's restriction should not dictate the menu entirely.

Beyond major dietary restrictions (nut allergies, lactose intolerance, vegetarianism or veganism), people need to learn to deal with what's available. It's called good manners. It seems that more and more adults are acting like spilled toddlers at table. I won't invite people like that twice.

On the other hand, I was invited a few years ago to a small dinner party at the home of a person I thought was a friend. She knew I was vegetarian, but the meal was a giant slab of beef, a very scant vegetable side (barely enough for the guests), and salad served after. The hostess just ignored me pushing around a few pieces of veg during dinner, trying to make them last the meal. It was awkward and I ended up feeling embarrassed, shunned, "punished". A polite hostess would not have placed a guest in that position in the first place but, having done so, would have quietly gone into the kitchen and brought out cheese or fruit or something. The way this hostess behaved, it came across as an intentional slight, even if it wasn't meant that way.

There's a world of difference between being "picky" and being rude. Some people, for whatever reason, can't or won't eat certain things, and say so politely; if I like those people and want to have them eat at my house, it's good manners (and a fun challenge) to figure out a menu that accommodates them. Some people can and will eat anything, but choose to use their omnivorousness as justification for nasty remarks and condescension; those people are not likely to be invited to my house for dinner, no matter how "easy" they are to cook for. Cooking for the people you love (or even the ones you just kind of like) is a way to show you care about them; what better way to show you care than to leave the dairy sauce on the side or to shift from a wheat pasta based menu to one built around rice noodles if it makes your guest's experience that much more pleasant?
And as the mother of a fairly picky preschooler, I can tell you that no, pickiness isn't necessarily about indulgent parents spoiling their children rotten; see the many comments to this effect on the NY Times Motherlode blog post on the subject:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/09/parents-of-picky-eaters-its-not-your-fault/

I am a picky eater. I wish I wasn't, and I keep trying stuff just to see if I can eat it. (just conquered cooked onions this year, opened up so many new food options) But I would never ever be rude enough to expect someone to cook something special just for me. I would either eat a snack before hand to make sure I wasnt starving or just pick thing off. Also, can we have a little compassion for people? Chances are unless a person is the kind of picky eater who refuses to try anything, the picky eater knows what a pain they are, doesn't like being that way, and would really like to be able to eat anything. (Seriously. Does anyone know if hypnosis works for picky eating, because I'd really like to be able to eat non-cruciform vegetables, just for the sake of variety)

I know it's not in the ten mentioned, but that picture of pasta with spinach and peas would NOT work for most picky eaters. I'm not a picky eater at all and utterly hate green peas. Sorry, it's the one food I have always hated. I'm allowed one!
Picky eaters can come in all varieties. My sister is very picky, but never makes a big deal about it and quietly eats around anything she doesn't like. She swears her palate is more sensitive than others and hates it. On the other hand, I have a friend who declares outright he hates certain foods that he's never even tried and refuses to even take one bite. He's quick to sneer at something and say, "ew, what's that?" I think his is more a result of growing on a limited menu of foods and just general closed-mindedness. Yeah, I don't eat meals with him anymore.

As a picky eater, I can only say that you are welcome to serve whatever you like at dinner parties. We picky eaters are used to eating AROUND a dinner. I've had side dishes as main dishes, bread and butter as dinner, etc... We know that we are picky and rarely come hungry.
We still enjoy your company and love being invited into your home.

Thank goodness none of my dear friends are picky eaters! they'd starve at our house.

I appreciate 1952Ranch's comment -- if you're that picky, you know it -- and you do plan ahead, either by eating before hand or bringing a dish to share that you like. It's all a part of the compulsion to control what you eat.

I willl make concessions for bona-fide allergies and vegetarians, but aside from that, you'd better like garlic, onions, kalamata olives, balsamic vingar, figs, brussels sprouts, eggplants, chevre, and gorganzola if you're visiting our house. :-)

PS

I won't eat brains or tongues or tails or feet, but if I went to Asia, I'd be a picky eater!

Funny, some of those ideas do not sound universally appealing to me.

I have food allergies (various fruits), so I usually avoid all fruit unless I'm at home. It's really not that hard. For a while I was avoiding nuts. So I would just expect to not be able to eat 100% of what people were serving. No big deal...

When I'm the host, I always ask if people have allergies or things they won't eat. But what I can't stand is rudeness and snarky commentary about what I'm serving. ("What, you eat CARROTS? Those are way too high on the glycemic index. I haven't had a carrot in YEARS.") But other than a couple of people who turn up their noses at almost everything (they'll eat burgers but not THIS kind; they drink wine but not THIS variety), I know very few people who are picky eaters, kids included. I've been lucky, I guess!

Whenever I have guests coming over for a meal or some party or event that we'll be serving food at, I make a point of asking about food allergies, dietary restrictions and also people's preferences. After that, I try and pick food options that are likely to have a broad appeal. I believe that that concludes my side of the bargain as hostess.

Any dinner party is potentially tricky. It's always a possibility that you'll encounter a dish that someone made that you're not going to like, even if you aren't picky, per se. When that's happened to me, I just suck it up, eat around what I don't care for, or just as much as I can, or pick the other dishes I do like. After that, you smile, say thank you, and keep your mouth shut if you didn't like it.

I just offer a nice little variety, bit of boring and a bit of exciting and different herbs/flavors in every dish, and if they can't find anything they like, that really isn't my problem. If you want to be picky, go ahead, but don't expect me to care or put forth much effort to be accommodating. If you don't love food and trying new things just to soak up all of the flavors, you probably weren't going to enjoy the meal enough for me to really sweat over it, anyway.

Allergies are definitely a different game, but most people would let you know ahead of time if there is anything that will make them die and are probably used to finding at least one or two things they can't eat if they don't speak up, so whatever.

Nice list! I may try one or two of these out on my toddler!

@Battra92, I did say 'actual allergies aside' ...

I find it hilarious that 1 of the 2 recipes I would try says "bit of a stretch" for picky eaters. Fried rice, peas, carrots and corn? YUM! Broccoli and cheese soup? ICK!