What about a grilled cheese party? If you have a large electric griddle , you can do several at once. Put out specialty breads, cheeses and add-ins for adults (rye bread, foccocia, tomatoes, bacon, sauteed veggies, green onions, gruyere, havarti), and the basics for kiddos.

Sides can include a nice salad with fruit, veggies, etc.

That sounds really fun! If you're going for a red and green theme, include some roasted red peppers, tomatoes, pesto, spinach, etc, etc, etc. I would enjoy such a party!

Alternatively, you could do a similar party with individual pizzas.

How about pasta in a creamy sauce like alfredo? Use pasta pieces like fusilli, not long strands like linguine.

Make a veggie side dish that is piquant to offset the creamy pasta for the adults (how about crispy roasted brussels sprouts with sweet and hot peppers?) Make another side dish to appeal to the toddlers -- balsamic glazed carrots? -- or simply serve cut up fruit. Offer everything to everyone, but this way you have something likely to appeal to adults and kids alike.

Be sure to add bread to the meal, because there is sure to be at least one picky eater who will only eat bread and butter!

If you need to do a lot of grilled cheese, do it in the oven. http://lifehacker.com/5900569/make-perfect-grilled-cheese-sandwiches-with-a-pair-of-baking-sheets

Toddlers usually eat pasta, but I'm not sure alfredo sauce is universally loved. In any case, go light on the sauce for minimal mess. ( A pet peeve of mine is restaurant pasta dishes for kids that are swimming in sauce).

Fun finger foods - like pigs in a blanket, those are a staple at my family's Christmas party no matter what the age. Spanokopita's great too. Also, little BLT's - cherry tomatoes stuffed with a bacon/lettuce/mayo mixture

When I was a kid, family parties were generally overrun with small ones. Super popular with the littles: Swedish meatballs, cheese cubes, deviled eggs, rolls, clementines, anything that was served with those cocktail swords for stabbing. We also enjoyed staring and Grandma's green jello mold salad, but I can't tell you we ate it. I had a cousin who would eat every pickle off the relish tray if not stopped. The plain steamed broccoli was surprisingly acceptable (I think because it was plain--toddlers can get suspicious of sauce). I wouldn't worry about making particularly "kid friendly" foods so much as thinking about serving in easy ways: some mini portions, some little plates, small utensils or skewers, and as said above pasta shapes that are easy to handle vs. long strands.

Keeping 10 toddlers tolerably amused in the evening ... You are a brave person!

Spritzers to drink - juice or wine based. Fun, but not as sugary as soda or straight juice. Berry-flavored sparkling water for sugar-restricted kids.

Light soup in fun mugs / sippy cups. There are children's mugs that have a picture or tiny figurine on the bottom.
Hot loaves of garlic bread (one more parmesan than garlic, perhaps)

Casserole(s) - gluten free, egg free, dairy free, etc-free: strata, lasagne, macaroni & cheese, shepards pie. You can do these in a slow cooker, a pot on the stove or in the oven without too much hassle, and not have to be in the kitchen for ever.
Stuffed Veggies & Relish tray (include pitted black olives, those red crabapples, and pickled watermelon for the plays-with-food set.) Apartment Therapy has had several discussions of Relish Trays if you are not familiar with them. Let's kids be a bit picky without being obnoxious.

Christmas cookies and fruitcake + milk, water, decaf, stiff whiskey, tea. I love a nice alcoholic fruitcake, but perhaps not for toddlers.

Have fun!

Who says you have to serve adults and toddlers the same dishes? Quiche is an easy hot dish. You could do a cheddar and broccoli quiche. Ham is always good, and the little ones could eat that, too. Veggies roasted in the oven are especially tasty and easy. Look for recipes online. My sister does little potatoes, baby carrots, onions, peppers, and sweet potatoes, well-seasoned and jazzed up with bottled Italian dressing. Kids like potatoes and carrots in this dish. Add a salad for the adults and fresh fruit (cut up in little pieces) for the kiddies. Easy-peasy.

I would look at appetizer recipes - kids like things bite-size and colorful. Steamed veggies, fruit, cheese, dips, pieces of meat. They could serve as dinner for the kids, and appetizers for the adults, especially if you'll want to get the kids eating first, so they could then go off and play with each other while the grown ups eat.

Make a turkey or a ham and have the fixings for lovely sandwiches. Good bread, nice cheese, good mustard, watercress and a house dressing. Kids can eat the meat and bread straight on a plate and grown up can enjoy a nice sandwich (which is very easy to handle when kid wrangling). Make the sides more grown up. A cold curry risotto. Olive bar. Things like that. Plus fruit salad and cookies. Or make a really knock out dessert--like a buche de Noel--everyone loves dessert!
Whatever you do I'm sure it will be fun. I love kids at Christmas.

Maybe a taco bar? You could make some pulled chicken or pork, then have dishes of beans, plates of tortillas and chips, and all the toppings. That way you have options for gluten free or vegan guests (if you have any) and even the pickiest kids (or adults) can choose exactly what they want. We did this for a family party over the weekend, and everyone (including the almost-5 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and 1 year old) found something they liked.

I second that...or a panini party!

Great ideas...I might use some of these! I have a few recipes that could work...frittata, caramelized onion, lentil and raisin quinoa, cheesy potato and pancetta pancakes, Italian rice salad. You can find more at bitesforbabies.com!

CMCINYC was spot on. I have three little boys and they would happily eat everything she suggested.

Empanadas would be great for this! They can be made ahead of time and stored in the fridge or freezer until the day of - then just pop the (defrosted) ones into the oven. You could do ground beef, chicken, corn, pesto and goat cheese, ham and mozzarella, etc. They're a little time consuming to assemble but they are always a crowd pleaser (and since they can be made in advance, it's not too bad). If you don't want to make your own dough, you can sometimes find pre-cut dough circles at Hispanic grocery stores. I've also used Pillsbury pie dough and just but them into the size circles I need.

Good luck!

*cut

one of my favorite appetizers/meal ideas is making cheese or plain gougeres (any size really), since it is such a cinch to put together and make little sandwiches with them! everyone loves them, you can have like sliced meats, cheese, any filling and either pre-assemble or have your guests assemble to their liking. Also remember you can freeze them already baked and set them out to defrost or you can plop out the dough and flash freeze then pop them in the oven the day of the event. I love that it isn't expensive to throw together, you can determine the size, it makes a ton, you can definitely make ahead, and my 4 year old son loves them!

As a former toddler teacher, I can advise "on the side." Toddlers palates are developing, and they often prefer foods served separately, and very plain. And without fail, nearly all of them love Mac and cheese and chicken nuggets! :) Have fun, whatever you decide to do!

For my son's 2nd birthday party last year we did a mac and cheese bar. I made two pans of homemade mac and cheese and then set out toppings. The kids all ate it plain by choice, the adults added toppings: steamed broccoli, caramelized onions, bacon, or hot sauce, etc. I did also serve hot dogs on the side, only because they are my son's favorite food in the world, but I don't think they were necessary. I also served a simple salad as well as some cut up veggies and dip. It was a big hit with adults and kids alike.

In theory, I believe that adults and children should be served the same things. (I love Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bebe.) I have found in practice, however, that when you try to serve a largish group of adults and children the same thing, the food tends to be too high-fat and not complex enough for the adults and most of the children won't eat it anyway. It works pretty well to come up with a menu you like for the adults and then leave plain any parts that you can--for example, if you are making pasta or chicken, let each guest decide whether to put sauce on it and how much. Then also have peanut butter and jelly (if there are no nut issues), chicken nuggets (if you are not vegetarian), yogurt and a variety of plain fruit available and let parents cater to their children, if necessary. It is embarassing for parents to know that the menu has been designed around children and have their children refuse to eat it--something I experience at every birthday party with my two pizza refuseniks. Parties are time to enjoy each other's company, not for lessons in correct feeding and eating.

thank you all so much for your helpful input.

I've decided to go with these (the sauce is on the side):
http://www.thekitchn.com/winning-appetizer-recipe-mediterranean-turkey-meatballs-with-herbed-yogurt-dipping-sauce-168928

As well as a kale salad, black rice side dish, and a couple of types of flatbreads (fig, prosciutto, arugula), (mushroom onion fontina), and of course a plain one. I can get a pretty good prepared dough at our local market and they have a gluten free option as well (we have a few people who can't eat gluten). I'll have some cubed cheese and raw veggies with hummus too. Oh, and cherry pecan cookies!

I'm not sure if the kids will eat much, as in these types of environments they rarely stay in one place long enough, but at least there will be options for them and the parents can eat easily as well.

happy holidays!