Ceramic nesting bowl set; heavy enough to be durable and attractive enough to be servers.

Le Creuset and a Kitchen Aid mixer. I acquired these two years in a row as requests from my family for Christmas (the only gift I got, and the Le Creuset was from TJ Maxx). Things like this are easy to build up year by year, for birthdays and Christmases. Things like All Clad I'm not sure are that much better; they seem to be things only my married friends with wealthy families have.

Knives. Don't cheap out on knives, save up, buy them once, learn to love sharpening.

Runner up: Kitchen Aid stand mixer 5 quart. When you're make a triple batch of cookies you'll pat yourself on the back for going for the 5 quart.

Absolutely a great chef's knife. Love my Wushof knives.

Agreed on a good chefs knife. Maybe along with a nice sized bamboo cutting board. Ever try to chop an onion on a 6x8" cutting board? Just don't. Trust.

Kitchen aid mixer, or a good size food processor.

KitchenAid stand mixer or Cuisinart food processor. Both of these tools have made my life immeasurably better and easier in the kitchen.

Great knife, great knife sharpener, convection toaster oven!

Kitchen Aid. It can do so much and makes so many things more manageable.

Agree with good knives. I also think a large dutch oven is a good investment.

Knives absolutely.

I'm finding it hard to do some things without a food processor or KitchenAid mixer, so if I were the one splurging, those two items would be it!!!

Cuisinart food processor or bamix emersion blender. I use my food processor multiple times a week. The emersion blender has transformed week night dinners. Pureed soups with only one pot to clean!

I think it depends on what she's going to use the kitchen for. If she's into making gourmet dinners, she'll need a good knife, knife sharpener, and probably a good pan or two - and then maybe some really awesome dishes to serve it all on.

If she's into baking, she'll want a stand mixer that does what she needs it too. As awesome as Kitchen Aid mixers are, not everyone needs that kind if power. Her money could be better spend on a solid mid-range model, like a Sunbeam, and then on Silpat mats or nice baking pans that won't warp in a few months.

She could also splurge on good ingredients for whatever she likes doing best!

A nice enameled cast iron dutch oven (my Martha Stewart one is quite fabulous, and a little less expensive than Staub or Le Creuset). As a non-baker, I can only think of one or two instances in my ENTIRE LIFE where I would have actually used a KitchenAid mixer - and got by just fine without it.

Or Wusthof knives. As many as she can afford. I think 90% of my desire to cook stems from having well-balanced, sharp(!) knives.

Or a food processor. Those are handy.

Knives. And a Vitamix! That thing has changed our lives. Totally worth the $ when we realized how much money we had already spent replacing crappy blenders throughout the years.

Immersion blender for smoothies and soups of course, but also for whipping cream, mixing up custards for ice cream and quiche, making quick frostings, bagel schmears, and batters for popovers and toad-in-the-hole. I also use mine to rescue lumpy gravies, Béchamel and Mornay sauces if needed, and it proved invaluable when I was making chunky applesauce and cranberry sauce to can last fall (much easier than ladling half the hot apples into a regular blender).

Knives, yes, for a cook, but a good faucet adds style and functionality for anyone using the kitchen. Having a sprayer, the ability to fit tall items under the spout for filling or cleaning, and a delightful lack of leaks is really wonderful.

Knives! If there was a fire and I could take one thing (my husband and dog were already safe and sound) I would take my knives!

A good knife and an immersion blender. I use both daily, heck, sometimes twice a day if I'm having soup for dinner.

Good knives are a must, and when you go Kitchenaid mixer, try the seven quart, its a game changer, especially around the holidays.

But my one total splurge item? A Thermomix. It has changed the way I cook. It is ridonculously expensive, around $1500, and you have to figure out a way to smuggle one in from Canada since they don't sell them here, but this appliance does the work of eleven others, and will completely revolutionize your culinary endeavors. I don't know how I ever survived without mine.

A good thick foam/gel floor mat. I recently bit the bullet and bought one, and it's transformed my kitchen time. I prefer to walk around barefoot indoors and this has made standing for long periods of time in the kitchen much happier!

Cheap: Lodge cast iron pans
Expensive: All Clad Saute Pan

I second the vitamix!

For the baker, a mixer (not necessarily the Kitchenaid), and for everyone else, a good food processor makes many tasks more manageable. Aside from those, I would advise anyone on a tight budget to spend their money on ingredients, not equipment. People all over the world cook every day without super sharp blades and 'knife skills' (whatever that means), you can make pasta without a pasta maker, and you can confit meat without the aid of a sous-vide machine. Just cook, you don't need professional quality tools and gadgets.

Totally agreed with your comment. I don't have good knives but I can positively say I'm a good cook. Mixer saves you time, enameled cast iron pot holds heat better than anything else, sharp knives make food preparation easier, etc. If anything at all I would invest into a complete sets of daily-used china. You get to use and look at them every day.

If you're a cook, All Clad pots and pans. If you're a baker, a KitchenAid mixer. If you're both, well, buy both. The investment is worth it. I love my mixer and use it for pretty much everything. The All Clad stainless steel pans I have are amazing.

I'd have trouble without my cuisinart food processor. Mostly it gives me the ability to make quick dinners -- last minute pestos and sandwich spreads, grated cheese for mac & cheese. I do potatoes in there for potato kugels and potato pancakes. Carrots for carrot cake. A lot of things one might use a kitchenaid mixer for can be done in the food processor too, and you can even do a lot of things in the food processor that you usually use a blender for.

I only got a kitchenaid a few years ago, and it's very nice to have, but I did just fine without it for at least 15 of my "cooking years."

I don't own an enameled pot. I'd love one because they're pretty, but my Lodge cast iron pot does the trick just fine and cost a lot less.

Knives are important, but you really just need a good chef's knife, a good bread knife, and a good paring knife. If you do your research, these don't have to be incredibly expensive. I think if I had a few hundred dollars to spend, I'd go for the food processor.

I agree with @schwed: "A nice enameled cast iron dutch oven." At 28 I've just bought my first one (Cuisinart from TJ Maxx) and wish I had bought one sooner! It has revolutionized my diet, and made cooking even easier!

If someone really wants to save up, I'd highly recommend a Vitamix. Pestos, soups, sauces, shakes, margaritas, it's all good & easy!

For a cook: knives, enamaled dutch oven, good SS pans
For a baker: Stand mixer

If she's trying to improve her kitchen skills, I might recommend a subscription to Rouxbe: http://rouxbe.com/ -- it'll help her cooking using what she already has available, whatever that is.

I'd be lost without my food processor. I use it several times per week. I also agree with everyone who said a good set of knives. I finally invested in some good knives and it's amazing how much it has enhanced my enjoyment of cooking.

All Clad pans and good knives. I got good knives when I started out but never invested in good pans until recently and boy are those pans great! I wished I would have invested in a long time ago for just basic cooking its the best and worth the investment. I only have 2 and hope to get more as my budget allows.

High quality stainless steel pots and pans. Don't waste time with nonstick or cheap brands. Every thing that is expensive is not quality but quality things are expensive.

Totally agree with some of the responses here. Even if you don't bake all the time, a mixer does help in many non baking roles too, but I agree, it's more of a baking thing, and if you are going to do so, get a GOOD one.

I have a vintage Sunbeam, turquoise with matching bowls, works fine, but I don't think it mixes nearly as nicely as the kitchenaid, and I've used my late Mom's so know how they work, sadly, I didn't get it when she died but will want one some day, since you can use it for making bread, whipping whipped cream, and all the usual other mixing tasks.

I would definitely recommend the food processor. I have the 11cup model, bought it at an estate sale, with all the standard attachments for $30, including the scrapers and the dough blade. I use mine quite frequently when I am actually cooking, and use it to shred a 1Lb wedge of Parmesian cheese as I use Parm cheese A LOT in my cooking, even if just a small sprinkling in something.

I also agree on the knives, a classic utility (small chef's knife), an 8" chefs knife, and a good bread knife and a GOOD cutting board, especially one with non slip feet. I'd even go so far as look into an Epicurian cutting board. Don't have one, but love how they look.

And from there, good baking sheets, especially the rimmed ones as you can use them for a whole lot of tasks, such as roasting veggies or tomatoes, I have the Wearever restaurant grade half sheet pans, and they are fantastic, and not expensive.

If you are going to drop $500 on a Vitamix, why not consider a sous vide set-up (Sousvide Supreme check Costco, Nomiku from Kichstarter). Perfect chicken breasts, rare steaks, 72 hour short ribs, or falling off the bone ribs... you will certainly be the envy of you friends who like to cook. I lucked into a cheap one a couple years ago and use it a few times a month. Assuming of course that most people have the basics like knives, pots, and probably a cheap blender.

a big kitchen-aid I have the 6 quart, but I think 5 is good for most people. (you can buy refurbished from the factory....saves a ton of money)
good knives
good pots
one big serving plate (comes in handy at thanksgiving)

In the past 5 years, I've upgraded most of my kitchen gear from poor-foodie-student.

Hands down, the biggest improvement brought on by higher quality: cookie sheets. The cheap ones scorch on the bottom more easily, they need to be oiled more frequently (and then the residue sticks...), the sides aren't high enough to make roll cakes in them, they're not non-stick enough to make candy and brittle... It's not a huge expense (I think I paid 20$ per sheet, and I got 2) but man, the improvement is unbelievable.

Otherwise, I basically run my day-to-day kitchen with an excellent butcher block, a set of stainless steel bowls (the same size, so they're easier to store and pull out of the cupboard), a good chef's knife and paring knife, and my darling beloved food processor, as well as a cast-iron skillet and dutch oven. The slow cooker, immersion blender, and kitchenaid mixer come in after that (in that I use them maybe once a week, as opposed to 4+ times per week). Everything else is basically a charming bonus.

I second the Le Creuset Dutch Oven. I have the 7 1/4 quart round and it is wonderful for everything from soups to no knead bread to roasting. My other suggestion would be a quality chef's knife. A sharp knife is wonderful in my everyday cooking.

Things I Can't Live Without: Henkels Chef Knife, Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer, Cast Iron Skillets

Luxuries: Brooklyn Butcher Block maple cutting board, Vitamix

Things I know are awesome, but don't own (yet): Dutch Oven, All Clad Pans, Roasting Pan

I'm going to disagree on the knives front here--Cook's Illustrated consistently gives excellent marks to the Victorinox chef's knife--at twenty bucks, a fraction of the cost of some lower-performing brands. Plus, most of what a knife does depends on the cook--a great knife can't make up for a clumsy hand. I'd put my money into something with a motor--food processor, standing mixer, or blender, depending on which you'd use most--since there, differences in power and durability can be enormous. My second vote would be for a well-made enamel Dutch oven (doesn't have to be Le Creuset)--great for even cooking, lasts forever, and is a cinch to clean.

I just want to chime in on the issue of "why do you need expensive tools" in response to pearmelon and Chau. I totally agree that you do can be an excellent cook without crazy expensive tools, but at the same time, if you've saved up some money specifically to splurge on something for the kitchen, I think that good tools are a better investment and will be more satisfying in the long run than high-quality ingredients. My husband and I cooked just as much when our knives were super-cheap serrated blades that could barely saw through a tomato, but the 2 good-quality Wusthof knives we received as a wedding gift make the process of preparing our food faster and more enjoyable, and they will last us for a lifetime. Similarly, after my Sunbeam handmixer went out in a (literal) blaze of glory, I whipped cream by hooking the whisk attachment up to a drill, but I'm still not sorry that I saved up for a stand mixer!

That said, I'm in the knife camp. Good knives are a pleasure and you don't need to buy a set - just one or two well-balanced knives to get started.

All these are great suggestions, and I can't wait to have some income and invest in some upgrades.

One thing I did splurge on, though: an island. It's against the the wall because our kitchen is small. We live on a coastal plain in southeastern US, and I was devastated when I moved here that roaches were all but unavoidable on our budget. We've come a long way since moving in, but having a standing food prep surface away from the cabinets and counters (where there was very little prep room anyway, just a bit over the dishwasher) has improved our lives drastically.

I understand that this isn't an issue for all, but I doubt I'm in the only one stuck in an area where 'find another apartment' isn't a guaranteed way to ditch that issue. We paid about $80 for a used one, put some sticky traps under the bottom (which is a pain to change out and not pretty, but it works for us), and have a clean prep surface where we know no bugs are crawling on....plus, we actually have room to prepare food.

TL;DR: If pest infestations or just their presence is a concern, I recommend a standalone food prep area, whether it's a used island, converted bar/microwave cart, or other diy solution. Changed my life after moving from the suburbs of the NE to the SE flood plains.

Things I use most: A great knife, Good saute pan. I recently had to move into my father in laws and packed up my al-clad. He has really cheap pans and they are awful to cook in. (I had no idea there would be such a difference) Le Creuset or other dutch oven. I seriously use mine for everything!

Vitamix. Food processor. Olive oil.

Even if you can't afford a great set of knives, find some decent mid priced ones, and get them professionally sharpened. I use a cheap stick blender, which takes care of my immersion blender needs. I also get by with a small, inexpensive food processor, and purchase serving plates or nesting bowls from Home Goods.

As for the splurge item, I'd do a KitchenAid stand mixer if you like to bake, or some heavy dutch oven. I wish I added the dutch oven to my wedding registry, because they cost a pretty penny. That being said, if there is a particular type of kitchen function you perform often, splurge on that product. You will find cooking to be much more enjoyable.

Sheet pans and a food processor. Cheap sheet pans warp and a processor grates, shreds and can make pie crust. I'm a baker and survive without a Kitchen Aid mixer, but have a heavy duty hand mixer.

A good chef's knife & a big, solid wood cutting board. A kitchen aid stand mixer if you love to bake. A big Le Crueset if you love to braise. A heavy duty ss 12" saute pan, with copper bottom or core.

Most important are quality ingredients. You can have fancy gadgets, but if you don't use quality ingredients, your food won't taste any better. Part of the fun of cooking is discovering the ingredients you love & that work best for you.

A Kitchen Aid mixer is definitely worth the splurge if you like to bake (especially bread) or make homemade pasta. I got one a couple years ago, and I make homemade pizza and breads much more often now. It's sooooo much easier -- and less cleanup -- to dump all the ingredients in and let it knead the dough for you instead of struggling with it on the counter. I use it to mix pasta dough too, and then switch over to the pasta roller attachments to make fresh sheets for lasagna or ravioli. That said, if you only bake cookies or cakes once in awhile, the Kitchen Aid is not that much more useful than a cheap hand mixer.

A dutch oven is a great tool, but it's not necessary to splurge on a Le Creuset or Staub. We got a cheap one from Cost Plus four years ago and use it all the time. It's very heavy, holds heat well, and has yet to crack or chip.

I highly recommend Cuisinart Greenware Nonstick cookware set. It's ecofriendly super easy to clean up. It's also PTFE and PDFOA free for healthier cooking. Now Im saving for a dutch oven.

I love my food processor, so I can definitely support that purchase. I will throw in a voice for good food storage containers though. After moving into a more humid area I couldn't believe how quickly ingredients deteriorated! I moved a bunch of things into tupperware containers and my food started to taste like plastic. So I'm currently in the process of switching to glass jars. Not a huge expense individually, but it's something that I would outfit my kitchen with completely if I had the money.

1.knives-one chef, one slicer, one small pairing
2.food processor (how the heck did we do things like grind nuts before??)-use mine almost every day

A decent chef's knife & paring knife, a steel, & an annual trip to the sharpeners. A medium-size cutting board for smaller jobs, a very large, very heavy one for big jobs. A Dutch oven--I've used a Lodge uncoated for 25 years.

Vitamixer- hands down. Bought one as a law school graduation to myself in 1996. It was expensive then and I put it on layaway. Everyone thought I was nuts but I still have it and recently had my husband built it its own little house with an upsie/downsie.

Less a splurge than a Pro Tip: a vintage Griswold cast iron Skillet. They can be found on eBay from estate sales. They have a perfectly smooth interior that modern iron skillets are no longer made with. I have one that is probably 60 years old and came seasoned with decades of use. Snap one of those up instead of a new, rough-interior Lodge.

Le Creuset.

I spent a lot on a nice blender, which I don't regret since I use it all the time for smoothies, almond milk, and soups. But I really wish I had a dutch oven. The ex had one, but he took it with him, that was probably the worst part of the break-up, haha.

I can't live without my immersion blender or my cast iron skillet from lodge logic. Neither one of these items cost me a lot, but they are essential.
I am saving up for stainless steel allclad pots and pans.

At 37, I FINALLY gave in & purchased a few good knives: 8" Wusthof Classic chef's knife, Wusthof Classic santoku knife (7"?), and a few different Victorinox paring knives (which are really cheap, & Swiss made.) My parents had given me a couple of hundred dollars for a gift (which was completely unexpected & very generous.) My mom specified that I must purchase good knives with it – because she was sick of hearing me complain about how terrible my knives were! (I must have complained a LOT.)

Without question, these few knives have improved my kitchen life a thousand fold. I should've done it years ago but I had no idea just how important knives are to someone who even likes to cook just a little bit.

I still don't have a food processor and I don't have a kitchen aid mixer, but I can prep food efficiently and happily with my knives.

My only regret is not buying them 12 years ago!

Knives are all well and good, but for my money, a knife sharpener is way more important than the knife itself. It's a PITA to get your knives professionally sharpened, but the Chef’s Choice Model 130 Professional Sharpening Station, recommended by America's Test Kitchen, keeps all my knives, even my cheapies, razor sharp, every day.

Ooohh tough choice! I'd say Le Creuset (dutch ovens and large braisers are my favorites).

A close second and third: Chef's knife and Kitchen Aid stand mixer.

Great Knives. love my Shun knives.

and

Kitchen Aid stand mixer

A good set of knives and a Kitchen-Aid mixer. If properly cared for the knives will last forever and the mixer is a total workhorse in the kitchen. Plus, there are all kinds of attachments that can be purchased for the mixer like a pasta maker, grinder, juicer, shredder and even an ice cream maker!

Good knives (specifically, chef's knife, paring knife and bread knife) and a KitchenAid stand mixer (the biggest, most powerful you can afford), in that order. No good kitchen is complete without them and you'll use them more than you ever thought you would.

It's such a hard choice! If I had to pick just one, I'd say an excellent chefs knife. My fave is the Wusthoff Grand Prix II. Next would be a le creuset French oven. So useful for so many dishes- and it makes you so happy when you see it sitting on the stovetop!

Kitchen aid, great knives, and a dutch oven!

1.) A great skillet that can go from stove top to oven. My all clad "brown and braise" is a serious workhorse. I roast chickens in it, take meat from sear to oven, and pretty much just put it through it's paces every single day.

2.) A good quality, comfortable chef's knife and a a steel.

3.) A knife skills class at your local cooking school Knife skills are invaluable. You'll learn efficiency, butchering (a real money saver), sharpening, etc. Very useful.

I use my wustof knives, lodge cast iron skillet and/or my green pan skillet with lid almost every day. I love my kitchen aid mixer and le creuset Dutch oven...but they aren't daily use items for me. When I do use them I am totally in love.

Another echo for a great knife/knives and quality pans. I recently spent far more than I'd anticipated on a Shun chef's knife, but it felt just right in my hand, when I was in the store and it's been money well spent. All Clad ( or equivalent) is well worth the $$. Food doesn't stick (like it did to the grad school era Revere Ware!) and it's way easier to develop a good fond. Neither of these investments has made me a hugely better cook, they've just made mundane chores a lot more pleasurable. They feel good to hold and use.
I'll also second the suggestion for high quality, everyday china. Mine was picked up at an estate sale, it's thin, white German porcelain with tapered edges. It gives me pleasure every time I eat and I never feel the need to pull out any of the 'good stuff' residing in the hutch.

I'm surprised no one has already said Thermapen digital thermometer. I just got one after throwing away a series of broken $30 thermometers. Plus, I feel more confident that I can splurge on a pricier cut of meat without worrying about overcooking it just to be sure it's safe to eat.

I bake A LOT. I spent years using a hand mixer (or just my hands) and pooh-poohing the Kitchen-Aid stand mixer trend because they seemed like braggy, oversized, unnecessary countertop clutter. Then a friend gave me one for my birthday (I know! What a friend, right?!) and I was an immediate convert. I've had mine for a couple of years now, and I still like to pronounce to my husband, "Guess what I'm doing right now? Making pizza dough AND pizza sauce AT THE SAME TIME."

Others on my list: good knives, good wooden cutting board plus several of those plastic ones, cast iron skillet, pizza stone (if you take homemade pizza seriously), immersion blender (I use mine almost every day, for everything from soups to smoothies), cooling racks (essential if you bake a lot; again, I was stubborn and took way to long to cave on this).

Item I thought I would use more, but don't: food processor. My immersion blender can do lots of pureeing for me, and I use knives for everything else. I find assembling and disassembling the food processor too much of a pain to want to bother with it.

Do the following:
-make a note of everything you touch in your kitchen: plates, serving dishes, pots, whatever.
-do this over a period of one week
-determine what things you use the most. Maybe it's a coffee pot or a rice cooker. Juicer? Spatula? Saucepan?

These are the things you should splurge on. KitchenAid mixers are great but if you only yard it out once or twice a year, it's just a big metal monster sitting on your counter. For me, I use cutting knives and spatulas to death. So now I have a $400 knife set and some terrific spatulas and I love them!

I agree with all the above items. One thing I would add is a digital pressure cooker. It is a fantastic work horse, especially for working individuals.

A good cast iron skillet, antique and well taken care of, if you can find one. Good cast iron is worth it's weight in gold and is well worth the investment.

Most people are listing several items. Go with what you see a chef carry with them from place to place... a set of knives. If you wanna be technical and say "ooooh, only ONE knife" then a versatile 8" chef's knife or a chinese cleaver if you can wield it for smaller jobs.

6" all clad saute pan.

Never really understood the whole vitamix thing. I can understand paying $100, $200, or maybe even $300, but $450 for a blender? Are people making diamond smoothies?

A Breville countertop convection toaster oven - so much utility in one little appliance.

Without a doubt, an oval-shaped Le Crueset in your favorite color. Size depends on how many you typically feed. Mine is 6 1/2 qt., and it is perfect for our family of 5, but is also big enough for company. I acquired mine after 17 years of marriage and I don't know how I lived without it! I use it more than any other item in my kitchen, save a wooden spoon. I use it to make soups, pastas, roasts, steamed artichokes, homemade bread, refried beans, a whole chicken, you name it. It is out on my stove permanently and it gets used every time I cook. It is the perfect, versatile, stove to oven to table piece that is my number one kitchen item! And it is beautiful to boot.

i say splurge on the item you will use the most don't buy something just to say you have one shop around and compare some big name items are not really all they are cracked up to be cooks country and other sites make great recommendations on things.. sometimes you don't get what you pay for

Knives! If you have money left: pans. If you still have money left you can buy whatever you think you will need most (I'd love a Vitamix, but my cooking doesn't require one).

wow, only one other vote for a nice digital thermometer. This has literally changed how I cook meat and baked goods (mostly candy applications, chocolate, sugar work). My husband queries, "how did we even cook without one?" Takes out the guess work, makes sure your proteins are perfect every time, so I ended up being so much more confident and capable cooking a meal for guests since I knew I was going to prepare the main entree to the needed temperatures. Get one that goes from freezing to 400 F, so you have enough range for candy making too.

Also nice cutting boards that are anti-microbial, dishwashable, and good for knives. No worries and I can cook anything without fear of cross contamination.

Baking pans are needed. I'm baking every single veggies this winter. Add on baked goods too, and I use them a lot.

Last item, a nice PEPPER MILL. Game changer--makes that much more flavor in your food, that much more aroma. Get one you like the look of, fits in your hand, and has an adjustable action. My dad made mine, and I treasure it for that, and also it's value as a tool in creating in my dishes.

None my kitchen favourites are real splurges, they just get the job done: veg peeler, microwave oven, plastic handled serrated steak knives that will slice ANYTHING, and the huge old Deruta pitcher that houses all my wooden utensils next to the stove.

I'm a big fan of an enameled cast iron pot. I use mine all the time for the oven and for the stove and I find it's the most versatile item in my kitchen. And it's an absolute pleasure to cook with - never mind that's a festive red and a Le Creuset. That's just "gravy."

I know this was a post about the *1* item you would say to splurge on. Over the years I bought some of my "splurges" and love working in my kitchen. Looking around there are a few items that I use on a daily/weekly basis. With the most used item first....
1. Lodge cast iron skillet and griddle
2. Automatic soap dispenser
3. Rice cooker
4. Hot Water Pot - great for teas, adding water to boiling pots
5. Bread Maker
6. Crock Pot
7. Pressure Cooker
8. Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer
9. Hand Mixer
10. Emile Henry Ceramic Baking Dish
11. Airbake cookie sheets

I use these very often - but for some reason they came to me later
12. Good serrated knife
13. Good chef's knife
14. Nice kitchen towels

Things don't have to be expensive. I found a great cast iron pan at a thrift store for $6. Le Creuset on sale or other less expensive enameled cast iron are not that hard to find. I think it's a matter of figuring out what you want most and finding a way to make it affordable and attainable. Makes using it that much sweeter....

Get some cheap, slim wooden bread boards instead of one huge chopping board - you can throw them in the dishwasher (they take up the same space as a plate), and lots of people can help prep at the same time.

A good corkscrew.

A good set of knives and quality stainless cookware (All-Clad). Both will last forever if not abused. A splurge at the beginning will in reality be a quite frugal purchase. I have knives I purchased when I first left home 30 years ago and All-Clad cookware that was originally my grandmothers which is at least 30 years old. I cannot say the same for anything I cheaped out on

If their is a tight budget, I would advise either to become a cooking volunteer or keep your eyes open for great recipes and cook books. I do not own a Le Creuset pan, expensive knives or a food processor (nor will I be able to afford one in the near future). My cooking has changed dramatically due to great recipes that I found online, tried out with fellow-volunteers, opening my eyes for smart and great cooking even on a budget. Instead of investing money on hardware I would advise my friend to invest time in her cooking 'software'. Find inspiration, learn skills and trying new things.

A pressure cooker. Speeds cooking enormously, and can be used as a regular pot when necessary. A truly versatile piece of cookware.

superdewa, Lodge makes an enameled cast iron pot that is about the same price as the regular cast iron pot.

Knives! Nothing can substitute a good knife. For most everything else, you can find something that can do what you want it too even if it wasn't designed for it, but nothing can stand in for a knife.

A great cook's knife (balanced and the right length and weight for the individual) and a steel.

I would save my pennies for a Vitamix! Possibly a Breville juicer if you like making healthy drinks or a food processor if you're more interested in something to help with cooking prep. Also, our dutch oven is the piece of cookware that we use most often--though I don't think that this needs to be expensive. As people have mentioned, Lodge makes some excellent products!

It's hard to recommend a good splurge item because everyone has their "thing"--my husband loves our Wusthof knives, but I only use my Kuhn Rikon chef's knife (which is absolutely amazing and only about $20); everyone and their sister told me to register for a Kitchen Aid mixer and I think I've used it twice in a year and a half (and I love baking).

Many have recommended stand mixers, but here's my vote for the Cuisinart version instead of Kitchen Aid. I've used both and I'm glad we registered and received our Cuisinart stand mixer for our wedding. We use it all the time for bread and the timer function is key.

And knives (or at least one really good one you like using) are essential. Oh the horrors of roommate knives. But, my 6" chefs was pretty cheap and I like using it. Same goes for dutch oven. I love my Lodge enamel--not expensive either.

If a stand mixer is out of range, invest in a set of speakers/sound system for the kitchen. Cooking without music is sad, sad.

I almost never use my cuisinart; don't own a Kitchen Aid, despite making 20 different kinds of cookies some Christmases... I cook a lot though, and am a fairly accomplished cook. I hate having electrical appliances on my counters, and rarely feel the need the drag them from the cupboards... Really, a good solid mandoline I find is much more useful (and easier to clean and takes less space) than a food processor. As for blenders, I hate washing out the jars, and so much prefer a hand-held blender. If you intend to really use a blender, get a Vitamix, because otherwise, the models I've used haven't been better than a good immersion blender.

As others have written, a good set of knives makes all the difference. Recently, one of my knives broke -- it dropped on the floor, and broke in half. It wasn't my chef's knife, but just a long-bladed slicer, which I use less often -- and I am finding that the loss of that knife is really affecting my cooking. And I would say that getting a really good carving set should not be overlooked -- you will find yourself making roasts (roast chicken, roast beef, roast anything) more often because you know you can slice and serve easily.

To the knives and mandoline, I'd also add a good stash of cutting boards, the heavy rimmed baking sheets (use those ALL THE TIME), and good cast iron and enamelware. I have All Clad, and would only recommend the pots. The pans tend to stick, even with oil, so I prefer using cast iron or enameled cast iron.

I'm fond of the immersion hand blender: http://www.myfoodandotherstuff.com/2012/11/immersion-hand-blender.html

I love my dutch oven, roasting pans, kitchen aid mixer and knives, but don't get used as often as other tools. the one thing that I would splurge on would be a wide range of spices and an organization set for them. If you have the spices recipes are more accessible and spice racks are great but I find drawer organization in grids with all the same glass jars is even better. It doesn't seem like it would amount to a lot of money but it does add up if you use them a lot.
Id also recommend a good set of cookbooks and a book stand. Also drawer organizers are a life saver with gadgets and makes finding that one tool you love easier to find each time while keeping the counter clear of utensil holders.

A subscription to "Cook's Illustrated".

I'd say no to the knives---you can get a decent quality knife that's not outrageously expensive. See the cook's illustrated knife ratings--their top one is under $30. I'd also say no to the kitchen aid UNLESS you really do a ton of baking. If you do it might be worthwhile, but otherwise I'd save up and get one in a few years. Before I bought anything else, I'd invest in a good quality saute pan (all clad if you can) or else a dutch oven. Le crueset is awesome, but there are a few other decent enameled cast iron brands out there that aren't quite as pricey (lodge makes one, I've heard good things about the Mario Batali brand one too). Honestly, a good saute pan or dutch oven will probably get a lot more use than a stand mixer in most kitchens. I guess that's the best tip--think about what you personally do the most in the kitchen. If you do a lot of stove top cooking, invest in a good saute pan. If you do a lot of baking, invest in a kitchen aid or maybe a high quality set of baking pans. If you do a lot of roasting, get a good roasting pan, Etc. Buy an item that will make your own life a little easier or more fun!

Best advice would be to just start cooking. If she's on a budget, why would she want to splurge on an item she doesn't know she needs?

Le Creuset for sure! We've tried cheaper brands and the quality just isn't the same. There's no reason to ever pay retail; get them at an outlet store (or at TJMaxx if you're lucky enough to find the size/color you want). We're collecting them slowly and use them for most of our cooking although I still like to use regular cast iron when I want to cook things at a very high temperature. My other favorite thing is my KitchenAid but it's really just for people who bake and make bread a lot whereas good pans are for everyone who cooks.

Ooo, an excellent pot and an excellent pan.

I'm a broke college student, but I saved my pennies and bought a little All-Clad frying pan and a Le Crueset dutch oven (Salvation army for 9 bucks... they didn't know what they had!). There is nothing more discouraging than trying to cook something and having it cook unevenly or scorching because of poor quality utensils.

Plus, they last forever and a half if you treat them right. My parents are celebrating 30 years of marriage this October, and still use the same All-Clad frying pan every morning that they received as a wedding gift!

It is nice to have nice knives and measuring cups, but, the basics, man! Good cooking vessels!

The most versatile and expensive items in my kitchen are my wide-bottomed 6- and 8-quart stainless pots. Mine are All-Clad (one of which I got at TJ Maxx) and they are workhorses. I use them for everything from obvious uses like soups and stews, to sauteing huge bunches of greens, to boiling pasta, to brining and frying, to steaming vegetables and fish with collapsible steamer inserts. Best of all (to me), they clean up perfectly in the dishwasher.

I would say the All-Clad versions are worth the investment because they conduct heat incredibly well and they're very sturdy. I like them better than a less expensive pot I have that has a huge stainless disk stuck on the bottom. That one takes much longer to heat up.

For Baking: The Kitchenaid stand mixer

For Cooking: Le Creuset dutch oven

There's a reason these are so popular and such classics. Can't picture my kitchen without them! :)

KitchenAid stand mixer and a good immersion blender, in that order.

An awesome blender, something like a Ninja. I make a LOT of salsas, sauces and pestos and I would be lost without my blender. Ninjas can also double as food processors.

Knives, then pans. And both can be accumulated over time, which is what I've done.

In terms of bigger items, I use my dutch oven more often than my Kitchen Aid. The dutch oven isn't Le Creuset though, and it does just fine. The stand mixer is so nice to have when I do use it, for kneading doughs mostly. For cookies and cakes I usually just grab the more convenient hand mixer. So it depends what kind of cooking/baking you'll be doing!

Hands down a good knife. I love my dutch oven with a passion and that would come in second, but a knife is major.

If I had to pick one thing, it would be a good saute pan. I recently made the leap to All-Clad and it's a world of difference from the from the generic stainless steel frying pan I'd been using.

This website has All-Clad irregulars and has further markdowns in the spring and fall: www.cookwarenmore.com

I have all the things that people have identified in the comments. The one item that has truly blown me away is my large All-Clad Saute Pan. That pan truly is a revelation. There is no comparison between cooking in All-Clad and anything else.

Second to that is an great knife, but I honestly believe that a reasonably priced knife with maintenance works well. Most people don't use a Kitchenaid stand mixer, immersion blender, food processor, etc. everyday. I also think Lodge is a great, cheaper alternative to Le Creuset. I use my Lodge cast iron griddle more than I use all my Le Creuset put together.

A recent very expensive splurge in our house was a new gas range (to replace our old flat surface one). I cook dinner almost every evening and can't believe how much more I enjoy cooking with gas. On the low end and not really a splurge at all but rather a must-have is a microplane citrus zester. I can't believe I waited so long to buy one!

This has been such a fun read, like a peek into everyone's kitchens. I'd never heard of a Thermomix, @Stacey Ballis. I had to google it & check it out. I think that thing could replace a kitchen. I'm also thinking I should start collecting All Clad; it always seemed prohibitively expensive to me. Knives & a good sharpener. My husband likes the Henckels, I prefer Sabatier. We have a scary amount of them (from a huge 15-inch one all the way down) plus cleavers hanging in our kitchen. I also use my baking pans/cookie sheets nearly every day. Today I'm roasting garlic & grape tomatoes on them. I'm surprised no one said silpat.

Being a coffee fanatic, one of the things that has given me the most pleasure in my kitchen is our Cuisinart Burr Mill Coffee Grinder. I also couldn't live without my Wagner Cast Iron skillets that were passed down from my grandmother.

For a splurge, I'd suggest a Fagor 10 quart pressure cooker. Get it with a 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. You can have pot roast, soups, stocks, carnitas, chicken dishes, beans, grains, whatever after work any night. Saves money by allowing you to use cheap meat. Saves energy. It's as easy to use as a stock pot and transforms food to delicious in no time. Second place goes to a Cuisinart 11 cup or larger food processor.
For good knives: you can get by just fine with the Victorinox 8" Chef's knife, bread knife, and paring knives. Get an Accusharp sharpener (about $10) to maintain the blades.

the other side of the question is what cheap stuff do I prefer...

no need for fancy ones of these:

plastic measuring cups, liquid and dry
plastic measuring spoons
light weight plastic colander
cheapish non stick saute pan. throw it away and get another one when the surface wears out.
cheap slow cooker, no need for all clad here
cheap wooden spoons
cheapish paring knives that are easy to sharpen

My latest purchase was an All Clad Saucier... that rounded bottom is a dream when stirring sauces, etc. In fact, after two weeks of using the 3qt. size, I began searching for the best price on the 2qt.

I enjoy using many All Clad pieces - after 50 years of marriage I decided it was pointless to continue wishing for better cookware.

Second the recommendation for a Thermapen.
But for me, personally, the big splurge would be a top-of-the-iline rice cooker. I have several; the Zojirushi Rizo sits on my counter like a visitor from outer space and I use it every day and sometimes twice a day. It cooks my hot cereal in the morning, steams vegetables at lunch and turns out perfect rice at dinnertime. It has a risotto setting!
And while I agree good knives are essential, to me they are so basic a need, I find it hard to call buying them a splurge. :-)