Yep, there are two kinds of people in the world -- those for whom food is just food and those for whom food is an adventure.

Alas, neither of my husbands (now deceased) nor most of my close friends share my passion for food.

When I lived in Houston I was part of a very vibrant food community. Now that I live in rural South Carolina, there's no such community and very few food resources.

Well, I know of a few couples in which the mate didn't even like veggies very much, so the other felt left to make boring meal after boring meal. Oh and forget about any spices!! This shouldn't have stopped them of course, but just saying, things could be worse. However I understand one's wanting to share, especially with one's mate (I am lucky enough to have a foodie as husband)--food is often a sharing experience. What's important is to be happy when someone is happy. You can still share joy. My husband is blind, but he's loves it when I get all excited about a photo I took, a lens, etc.. He even bought me my favorite camera after much research on the internet.

Oh and my guy doesn't like a lot of food I love, even though he's a foodie, so often I make myself something for lunch that only I would love. Or a snack. Or I make an addition to MY dinner plate. Self love. Also I am slowly converting my kids to some of my tastes. They LOVE cheese. He HATES it. So score for me!! Sadly I can't keep all the cheese for myself now. :P

Great topic.

I think there are many ways to love food. Some people don't enjoy preparing it, but they sure love eating it. Others prefer to try expensive or very high end restaurants, and still others love to look for hole in the wall places.

your husband is like mine, he doesn't hate the farmers market because of the food; he hates it because it's full of crowds and parents with their Hummer-sized strollers. And one person's "transcendent" is another person's "I liked the place down the street better." There's just matter of opinion, not a definitive correct answer.

It's all better than people who don't enjoy food at all. They don't like preparing it or eating it, and they're stuck in their ways. I've met people who would never try new things, and would never go out of their way to spend more for higher quality things and can't see why others do it.

D'oh. Missing an "IF" in the beginning of the second paragraph.

My husband is a willing participant in our quest for good health through food, and he enjoys food that I make and eats almost everything. He doesn't cook much, but can do a few dishes well, and we never cook together. When he glances over at me and says 'This is good.' he's not saying it with the passion and fervor that I feel upon tasting something extraordinary. Food is just food to him; he recognizes good food, wants to eat good food, but if there isn't anything to eat in the house, a PB sandwich is fine with him.

I'm grateful to have good friends who love good food, who are passionate about it, revel in it and who will cross the city with me trying new restaurants and hole in the wall joints. My husband happily sends me on my way with them. "I'll be fine." He always says, as I kiss him goodbye. As long as there's peanut butter.

I've been thinking about this one today, too (and blogged about it, kinda). As someone who recently learned I need to eat a gluten-free diet for life, the bar is set higher than ever food-wise for any potential mate of mine. They need to be willing to make potentially dramatic diet changes (unless they're gluten-free already) as well as be adventurous about trying new foods and put up with a baking flop or two. We shall see who turns up who fulfills those criteria as well as my laundry list of others! Maybe by next year. :)

Food is one of my main hobbies. Not necessarily eating out (wheat allergy makes that problematic), but I adore cooking, and love eating good food. Stressful day at work? More cooking. REALLY BAD day? 4-course meal served at 10pm. My husband doesn't really enjoy cooking so much, but his thing is mixing cocktails, and he'll mix me a drink and then chat with me in the kitchen while he does other things and I cook, and I find I quite like that balance - I'm ok with him preferring not to cook, as long as he appreciates the food that results in the cooking. I couldn't deal with indifference to food; I just don't understand it.

Prior to being with my husband, though, I did have a semi-serious relationship with a guy who just didn't appreciate food, and it was definitely a nail in the coffin of that relationship (among many other things, granted). An appreciation for food and cooking, and an appreciation for books and reading, were dealbreakers by the time I got into my current relationship.

When I was single I clearly remember breaking up with a few guys when I realized they were not food people. What can I say it was a must for me in a partner. But, I am happy to say while my new husband is not a cook he not only enjoys my cooking he celebrates every bite and is beyond grateful for each meal. He is the one that got me to start a food blog and even hired a local five star chef to cook us dinner at our house on the night he proposed to me. Some of our best nights together are when we sit on the patio, he grills what I have prepped and we enjoy a meal that features the fruits of both our labors. Food isn't just about flavors its about the time spent together enjoying the meal and company.

This is such an interesting post! My husband is not as obsessed with food and cooking as much as I am, but he certainly enjoys it. I'm lucky because before I met him, he wasn't really exposed to exotic or gourmet foods or someone with an intense passion for food. Even though he might not get as excited as I do, I certainly love introducing him to new foods, restaurants and cooking techniques. It's fun to teach him and to see him start to appreciate these things. And I always enjoy watching him enjoy my cooking!
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CooksBetterThan has a balanced approach to this. I think what all cooks want is to be appreciated for our effort. I'm a good cook, but the food I make isn't Michelin-star caliber and I don't care that it isn't. I'm constantly improving, but all I want is to provide for us and make healthy, delicious meals for us. As long as the effort and the result is appreciated, we're both happy, whether we're eating a roast cooked for 4 hours or sandwiches thrown together in 5 minutes. Things don't have to be so put together all the time.

My boyfriend eats to live and I eat to live. We're completely different when it comes to food, because he's so health conscious whereas I'm pretty much baking sweet treats everyday! At least he tries my food once in a while.

I love to cook for my family, lovely meals where I've carefully sourced the ingredients. For years, I thought my husband could tell, but then I discovered he didn't even notice when the milk had gone sour! It occasionally upsets me, but I think he pretends to notice, and I guess that is considerate. And despite being a meat lover, he never complains about my largely vegetarian cooking.

My husband shares my love of food, but the most important part is that he's supportive of whatever I make for our meals. Since we rarely go out to eat, it makes me so happy that he likes and appreciates the huge variety of mostly vegetarian food that I cook. Before him, I was with a very picky eater who would write off entire categories of food, like soup or Thai food. That just makes me all the more grateful for my husband.

Yes! This is so my life. My husband is the antisocial, creepy looking guy slumped on a bench at the farmer's market with his hoodie pulled up, undoubtedly making parents nervous. He's not actually creepy or antisocial, he just hates farmer's markets. And yet I can't stop with the fantasy.

In my rational moments I realize that we can't just have every perfect piecemeal trait in our partners. If he were as obsessed with food as some people I know he probably wouldn't have been willing to spend five years of his life living in austere conditions and eating things like millet gruel while trying to do some good in some neglected corners of the world. I totally love him for that and would never in a million years trade that trait and those experiences for a love of food.

But that still doesn't stop me from dragging him to the farmer's market every week, somehow blissfully convinced that THIS week is going to be different and all of a sudden he'll see the magic. I'm kinda dumb that way, no?

PS I love reading these responses! Great topic, and such a range of experiences.

I've always held on to the fantasy of the perfect saturday morning...waking up- hitting our favourite brunch spot- then a farmer's market...basically my perfect days always involve food...if I can get my bf out of the house on a Saturday at all- it's an accomplishment. Add to that his many many food allergies (nuts, seafood...egg yolks!??!)- and I've had to rework the perfect Saturday...but after having survived a particularly nasty relationship where my ex ate everything, liked cooking, etc...I really had to re-evaluate what is important to a relationship.

If they don't love the same things you love...that's ok. If they're willing to go anywhere and do anything for you, because they love you. That's what matters most.

LOL! That's my husband, too! Though mine will go to the farmer's market without me. ;)

Oh man this post hits home. My gf of a year and a half is the complete opposite from me. I could spend hours at the food market simply looking at ingredients, or spend all day in the kitchen making the perfect dinner.

She, on the other hand, is not only satisfied with microwave and quick meals, but even prefers them. Its so frustrating to limit what I cook, or what types of restaurants we go to in order to be accepting of her simple palette. It also always puts the burden of cooking on me (which I mostly enjoy but sometimes dont have the time), because if I dont cook something, she will microwave or cook something that comes in a can...which of course I find disgusting.

Why does she prefer microwave cooking and canned goods? I mean, what about that is appealing and why is it good enough? I'm fascinated by how people can go through life not at all experiencing variety.

This to me is crazy talk. Food is the language of love in our house. My husband doesn't love cooking it like I do, but he certainly appreciates eating it, and trying out new restaurants is pretty much both our ideas of Nirvana. It certainly wouldn't have been a deal breaker if he wasn't as into food as I am, but I'm sure glad he is!

I love that so many people are taking advantage to be grateful for their husband and their open pallets. My husband is not like that at all. There are times where I too daydream that one day he'll be willing to Travel to lands far and beyond and try even the deliciously inviting street food I understand that I married him for the man he is, his character and warmth are by far more important. Please don't judge those who are sharing their experience even their partners don't share your taste. Zrossiter I completely understand how you feel.

For all the one-foodie couples: people can change! As a dietitian, good food has always been pretty important to me. My boyfriend was previously a packaged food junkie and now loves vegetables, taught himself to cook (and bake homemade bread!), and has no problem eating vegetarian meals. Sometimes, simply showing your significant other how good real food can taste creates a greater sense of appreciation and change in eating habits. I realize this might not necessarily happen for everyone, but I wanted to give hope to those who are afraid things can't change.

I love food and I love to cook. Last year, I dated a guy who was a supertaster. As he put it, most food just tasted wrong to him. While it wasn't the only issue in our relationship, it was certainly a factor on both sides. I will never forget the look of horror on his face when I drank a cup of black coffee--no cream, no sugar.

Now I'm with a guy who will happily eat whatever I cook and enjoys sharing food with me. It's so much better.

I love love luuuuurve cooking and trying new things, recipes, etc. in the kitchen. My engineer husband does not see what all the fuss is about - food goes in, food goes out. Eat leftovers without reinventing them into something else. It drives me nuts.

I do appreciate that he is a very happy and complementary eater, and I'm always very happy when I hear him telling someone else about the wonderful thing I made the other night, or that my XYZ is his favorite.

The farmers markets and brunching and chichi places to try - I have food-loving girlfriends and a mom for that. My best friend's "happy place" is a(ny) grocery store.

I feel the same, I dont understand. I'm more health conscious than her for sure, but even health differences aside...fresh food just tastes better to me. I think most of it came from her growing up and not being offered much variety. Take, for example, that until we started dating she hadnt tried butternut/acorn/etc squash, or beets, muscles, clams, etc (not stuff I had much as a kid, but still I was exposed to it somewhat)

I can relate to that. The real issue is that she's grown up with a simplicity and lack of variety, and she's set in her ways. Why she won't go beyond those boundaries is something you might want to talk with her about. Even picky eaters will find the ability in them to change for other people. If you want to be with someone and make them happy, you also want to experience what they experience. She should at least show some curiosity for the foods you cook and foods that she has never tried before. If she refuses to, I believe that could be a serious issue because food isn't just sustenance in our society; it's providing for each other and taking care of each other.

I'm glad I married a fellow foodie.

Marrying a picky eater who is also a foodie is not as limiting, but still incredibly frustrating. Since part of my reason for cooking is relishing the look of bliss on my husband's face when he tries a new recipe (or a favorite one), I've given up trying to cook with foods he won't eat. As far as picky eaters go - he's actually flexible in that he enjoys food from many parts of the world - it's the ingredients themselves which pose the problem.

Sadly, his incessant teasing whenever I attempt to eat anything he finds inedible - be it squash, jasmine rice or vegetarian fare makes preparing or buying anything he does not like problematic. Anything organic, Mediterranean, or simply from a vendor which specializes in gourmet cuisine always requires a fortified mental defense on my behalf before the delectable nibbles enter our premise. I pine for a secret hideaway with all my favorites already prepared so that at least I could enjoy them without ridicule or the hours of effort that feel somewhat wasted when the pleasure of consuming them is not shared.

Is he aware his incessant teasing is having such an effect on you? You should talk with him about it. To him, it might seem like harmelss joking but it seems that you don't take it that way, and he should know. As people have the right to differing opinions, the things that he might not like and find problematic to eat are a matter of his opinion. And I don't even know how you can tell organic from inorganic, so I have no idea what the gripe is there.

Rachiti, like Pi, I think it's a good idea to tell your husband that his taunting bothers you and he should stop. As long as you are not forcing things he doesn't like down his throat, he should not take away the pleasure you get from eating things he doesn't care for.

I'm thankful that my husband is not a picky eater but compliments don't come easy from him. The only way I know if any of the dishes I prepare is tasty is if he asks for another bowl of rice. :P *grin*

I'm thankful that my husband is not a picky eater but compliments don't come easy from him. The only way I know if any of the dishes I prepare is tasty is if he asks for another bowl of rice. :P *grin*

My BF is also a supertaster, and we are somewhat limited in what he can eat. The deal is, I can make anything I want (cooking and baking are stress relief) and whatever does not appeal to him I either freeze and eat over time or take to work, where my hungry, hungry graduate students think I am awesome for feeding them real, good food.

This is funny because my fiance and I were just talking about food-love recently. He told me that he had a much easier time doing dishes when he was living alone and eating cold soup straight out of the can (gag!). When we met his favorite food in the world was Taco Bell, so I feel lucky to have gotten him into cooking and food at all. While we still have some differences in taste (for him, a meal without meat is not a meal, and veggies might as well not exist unless they're in salsa), I have been teaching him to cook and he loves planning meals, cooking and eating with me. I save my delicious veggie meals for breakfast and lunch, and he eats cold cans of soup and Oreos when I'm out of town.

My husband is happy that I like cooking because it means we have nice, healthy food in the house all the time, which he knows logically is important across the board. But, truth be told, if left to his own devices sans wife and kid, he'd be eating wonderbread and mini pizzas with nary a complaint. He just isn't that into it - he's certainly not snubbing it, but neither is he particularly jazzed up by new recipes, spice specialty shops and the like. It's okay - I didn't marry myself, I married him. :)

I married a man who appreciates a good plate of food when it's put in front of him, and he likes when i cook most of the time, but he also enjoys going to a nice restaurant--though Subway and Tim Horton's work just fine for him too (much to my dismay when we make it to the city for a day, as it's often late for dinner when we arrive and almost every time, he says, "How about we just go to the Timmy's down the street or look up the nearest Subway?"). My frustrations lie in meal-planning, when I ask, "Anything sound good for supper tonight?" and he just looks at me blankly. In his words, "I don't think about food like that." When he was on his own, he could eat a plateful of apples and cheese for at least two meals a day. (I know--it could've been so much worse.)

I definitely thank heavens that my husband and I both love to be adventurous - he actually opened up the world of food to me, and I've made it my true profession, thanks to him!

Before I met my fiance, I thought that it would be a total deal-breaker if my partner weren't as into food as I was. I adore food shopping, cooking, eating, and talking about food; he is picky and would be happy to eat the exact same meal every day for the rest of his life. When things started to get serious between us, I had a moment of reckoning...could I be with someone who didn't care much about food? The next thought...would I really not marry this unbelievable person because he doesn't like pesto? If that's his biggest flaw, I think I'm doing pretty well.

He really does appreciate my cooking (he never knew that things like bagels, yogurt, and granola could be made at home and taste so good), and he eats a much wider range of things than he did before we met, but I know he's never going to get why I'm so excited about heirloom tomatoes. Oftentimes, I'll make dinner and leave to the side the thing I know he won't like, and we're both happy. I have many many people in my life with whom I can share my love of food.

find someone new.