My fiance's the same way - although it's "add butter" and "add cheese" instead of "add bacon." We've since discovered that garlic & olive oil (a much healthier option) works just as well. He "hates vegetables" but magically LOVES Smitten Kitchen's ratatouille - http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/07/rat-a-too-ee-for-you-ee/

I've honestly considering purchasing one of those books about sneaking your kids vegetables in order to work on his vegetable-hating habits . . . But whenever I want him to try something new, I make sure to start small. I'd never have him eat a raw version of a vegetable I knew he didn't like. He dislikes avocado, and I'm planning on changing his mind by first starting with rice that has avocado creamed into it - and THEN work our way up to my dad's guac.

I would love to know this too... Between the boyfriend who doesn't like 90% of veggies, the son who hates anything with cheese or creamy sauce (which the boyfriend also won't eat), any noodles OTHER THAN spaghetti (doesn't matter that they are all the same THING in different shapes), and a daughter who is just downright suspicious of ANY form of meat (but eats the things the boys won't) and 2 step daughters-to-be that hate all veggies and anything other than brown beans, mac and cheese and hot dogs... well my palate is SCREAMING for change and variety!

I think it's a bad idea to "trick" people into eating new or different foods. I used to be a very picky eater and would get very offended when someone would try to coerce me into trying foods I had no interest in consuming. Seriously, it's a boundary and control issue. Drop it.

The solution will come from the picky eater, who will decide on his or her own to branch out, maybe with a little collaboration from a partner who LISTENS when he says no, too far. Really, if you want veggies and he doesn't, make the veggies and let your boyfriend feed himself. He's not a child.

When my kids were young, I asked my mother how she got us to be adventurous w/our eating. She said that, if we said we didn't like something, we had to eat a certain number of bites. My kids seemed to appreciate the "game." I kept the numbers-of-bites random, sometimes 1, sometimes 3, etc. My stepson learned to eat salad that way, even though he started out w/the I'm-throwing-up reflex. At one point, he announced, "Don't tell my mother I eat salad."

If your adult picky eater is too smart for the so-many-bites routine, do like my daughter. She uses her Vitamix to add all kinds of healthy goodness, like spinach, into her husband's smoothies.

I know you didn't specifically mention veggies, so I'll try to be broad. My boyfriend used to HATE all vegetables and "weird" ingredients--except for corn and potatoes,which don't count in my book. Now, he'll eat everything except a few--which he makes exceptions for now and then. I started out slowly, adding a veggie or adventurous ingredient in a dish he already was familiar with. Spinach in mac n cheese, tofu mixed in with ricotta in lasagna, etc. Sometimes I didn't tell him about the additions until he had tasted the dish and expressed liking it, but usually I try not to be too sneaky. But if you mix a small unfamiliar thing in with something familiar, it seems to go over better. Good luck!

It would be helpful to know what your boyfriend enjoys eating. I agree that a lot of times people think that they don't like food because they've had it cooked poorly (i.e. brussel sprouts--hated them for years because I'd always had them overcooked), or because they simply haven't been exposed.

So, for example, if he likes mashed potatoes, maybe you start small by adding some fresh herbs into them, or steamed spinach. Or branch out to something that has a similar presentation, but has a different taste--like mashed sweet potatoes. Then experiment with adding in stronger flavors like horseradish, or chipotle or goat cheese into the sweet potatoes. Or, you can try variations on the theme, like mashed potato and black bean cakes or shepherd's pie with root vegetables and lamb.

Mashed potatoes are just one example. But when introducing new flavors and foods, I think it's often best to expand on a familiar flavor rather than try something drastically new all in one go.

Don’t date or marry these people unless you like a life of no interest or adventure.

Does he help make meals? Seems like people who cook are people who eat more adventurously. I started eating more vegetables when I had to start making salad for dinners when I was a kid. I wanted to make a better salad so I experimented.

It's more work, I know, but if you make a meal that he will eat, go ahead and make an exotic version for yourself, or offer more unusual fare as additions to what's already being made.

For example - if you're making plain-jane pork chops, make up a some kind of chutney, or exotic salsa using spices or fruit/chile combos that might be different. You can add it to your chop, and maybe convince the BF to try a bite. He'll still have his safe-version, so he won't be as intimidated by your fancy bite.

That's kind of what worked for me - I'd go to restaurants and order everything "plain" or with the "sauce on the side" but started trying bites of my companions' dishes and began to learn what I liked. Ease him into it, rather than confront him with an entire plate of something he won't even try on principle.

I know so many adult picky eaters, but my boyfriend has been the easiest to convert. I get really excited about food and recipes and when we first started dating I would send him emails full of exclamation points about how we absolutely must eat at this restaurant, or how I absolutely must cook this recipe. At first he was kind of freaked out because there were just all of these foods he was unfamiliar with and he assumed he wouldn't like them.

I decided to tone it down a bit with the exclamation points, but I also asked him to just trust me. I told him that if I made a dinner he didn't like I wouldn't be offended, but I expected him to at least give it a try.

Two years later, and brussels sprouts are his favorite vegetable. He still doesn't get as EXCITED about food as I do, but he'll often order something other than a plain burger at a restaurant. I consider this a success.

He's going to have to be willing to branch out on his own. Forcing the issue will likely make him retrench. But if he's even a little bit game, it's worth a shot to ask him to work on reframing his thinking about food.

Have him read this article by Jeffrey Steingarten (http://www.slate.com/id/3152/), or take a look at Steingarten's book The Man Who Ate Everything.

I was an incredibly picky eater as a child, but as an adult I'll eat almost anything. Of course, having foods prepared well makes a big difference. Soggy canned vegetables aren't favorites for most people, but roasted cauliflower with burnished caramelized edges and a sprinkle of sea salt, for example, can often convert cauliflower skeptics into enthusiasts. It can take eight to ten exposures to a new food to get over a phobia of it, but most of us can learn to like most foods if we're willing to hang in there for that many tries.

Feed him dishes that have two ingredients he's comfortable with and one that's new to him. That's from an episode of Bizarre Foods, I think.

Feed him dishes that have two ingredients he's comfortable with and one that's new to him. That's from an episode of Bizarre Foods, I think.

It's gotten quite easy for me to cook things my picky husband "hates" only to have he decide later he likes them. Most veggies you can cut up small and in a tomato sauce? No one is the wiser. He loathes green olives, eggplant, squash, kale, etc. All things I've cut to bite sized bits and cooked in my sauces. Tastes great and he has no clue til I tell him after. Most things can be cured with a spaghetti sauce.

For veggies plain that he doesn't like (asparagus, carrots...actually, most veggies) if I cook them generously in butter or very seasoned and, again, cut up (a long asparagus he'd run from, but 2 inch or so bites he can do fine) its much less daunting.

I've gotten him to eat crawfish, mussels, scallops, etc by just cooking it and when he asks what it is I just mumble "um..its shrimp cut up" and hell eat and enjoy it. Most of the time just not knowing what he's eating is enough for him to willingly dig in and then discover it was something else and he likes it.

Soups are a great trick too. Last night I made a really hearty pea soup with some tomatoes in it. He thought it was a meatless chili full of beans and dug in. I told him after it was pea soup and he said "Oh...I like peas"

Every family member adheres to this rule: "Take two bites and say 'thank you' for fixing that". It encourages trying new things, solves the picky-eater dilemma for both cook and diner and embeds basic etiquette for away-from-home meals. There are foods that I don't care for but others in the family enjoy, so as the main cook I also abide by the rule instead of serving only foods I prefer. Birthdays or special occasions call for special meals selected by the honoree. This ensures that nobody in my family can state that they don't like something without having tried it, and two bites haven't killed any of us yet. (We don't have food allergies which of course should be excluded).

I ran into this myself with my now husband so I can sympathize. It took YEARS to get him over to the daring side, but now he's almost more adventureous than I am! My husband comes from a very "vanilla/midwestern" family....they wouldn't even eat calamari at the olive garden. Steaks had to be well done, fish was gross, they destest spicey food etc. When I got into sushi he hated it but then after being around me for so long and seeing myself and several of our friends enjoy the food, he got more into it. Once we moved away from family, he got a kick at going home and realizing that he was now the "wild culinary child" and kinda went with it. He'd even play tricks on his mom letting her eat a spring roll and after telling her their was duck in it. It was funny. After YEARS of exposure, everyone in his family is much more open to trying new things. It's a process.

I also agree Flotisserie that it's a control issue so you shouldn't push too hard. The more I TRIED to get him to eat what I was cooking, the more resistence I got. When I finally backed off and left it up to him, he made the choice himself to be daring. Guys are kinda like that ;) You gotta let them think it's their idea....hehe

In a way, when you "push" someome to try something, it can easily be read as criticism or judgement (i.e. their current way of life isn't "right", your way is so much better, etc).... it's a good idea to tread lightly.

Picky children are one thing, but I have no patience for adults with this mentality. If he is a grown man I would tell him 'eat this or go buy and make your own dinner'.
On a slightly less mean note, I have a friend who agrees to 'try ONE new thing' each time we go out. She is quickly branching out her food palette, but this is something you'd have to get him to agree too.

If it weren't for me, my fiance would eat nothing but sugar cereals and take-out. To some degree, he doesn't like being so limited but he finds cooking intimidating so he sticks to what he knows. So we made a deal:

For every month before the wedding, there will be a veggie on feature that month. I cook it in a number of ways and he only has to try a bit and then he gives me feedback (eg "better peeled" "too soft" etc) So far, we have covered eggplant, green beans, broccoli, cabbage and mushrooms. He has done well with all but broccoli which generally is only "edible" if in small pieces and coated in stir-fry sauce or in a quiche with a lot of cheese.

One thing NOT to do is hide the veggies in other stuff, especially without telling him. It's a betrayal of trust and won't actually expand his repertoire to include those veggies.

I've found that if you don't know what an ingredient tastes like on its own, it can be overwhelming to try as part of a dish. So before trying to feed him mango salsa, eat a mango yourself and offer him a slice.

Picky eaters will also put up a lot of resistance if they think your end goal is to make them like new foods. Make it clear that what your after is just his willingness to try something, and that love and hate are equally acceptable responses.

You can also remind him that our taste buds change over time. Children have more taste buds than adults, making them more sensitive to strong flavors. As we get older, some of those receptors stop working, some get weaker, and our sense of smell gets gradually weaker -- the net result is that stronger flavors that used to overwhelm us are gradually acceptable. If he hates something now, he may taste it months or years from now and find it totally appealing. He's got nothing to lose by taking a taste.

Let me offer my perspective as a picky eater who is slowly reforming the way she eats. First of all, it is really important to remember that your boyfriend almost certainly wishes he had normal eating habits. He doesn't want to eat the way he does! If he is anything like me, he simply cannot avoid the sense of revulsion he feels at eating certain foods. Even now, after I have made lots of progress, I can't control the sense of extreme nausea I feel when I smell a banana, much less see someone eating one.

Shaming him (I'm not saying that you do this, just considering the possibility) into considering the freakishness and unhealthiness of his diet will do nothing but lower his self esteem and his esteem of you. Believe me, he knows! And believe me, he hears it all the time, from everybody, day in and day out, both from strangers and from people he loves. But there is hope! I would suggest sitting down and talking with him at length about what exactly repulses him about the foods he won't eat. For example, after I realized that the majority of vegetables on my "banned" list were hated for their crunchy texture, I bought a food processor and started experimenting. Now, one of my favorite things to make is curried carrot soup. I still have a ways to go but my progress was made pretty clear a few weeks ago when I dined with an old friend who well remembers my "white diet" stage back in high school. The look on her face when I dug into a zucchini cake hors d'oeuvre with gusto was priceless!

The important thing to remember is that he won't start experimenting until he is ready. You can't push him or, as others have wisely said, he will retrench and things will be even worse. Find flavors that he likes and incorporate them into recipes with problem foods. Make the experience of eating itself fun - paradoxically, I have always loved trying new flavors and discovering new restaurants (and the experience is far more enjoyable now that the menu doesn't have the potential to trigger an anxiety attack). My issue was never a lack of exposure - my mother is a wonderful home cook (and a saint, for dealing with me all of these years!). But other picky eaters, perhaps like your boyfriend, react negatively to unfamiliar foods that simply require a very slow and patient introduction. Try taking him to the greenmarket and chatting to the farmers about their wares.

Just start out slowly, start out small, and be patient. Other commenters' suggestions to add a tiny bit of an ingredient to a dish and then progressively move upwards is spot on. And please, please don't listen to closeminded people like Rick Roberts. My issues with food, while obviously detrimental and, shall we say, unusual, are only one facet of an otherwise very rich, creative and fulfilling life.

Ask him to cook you dinner for your birthday or Valentine's day. People will always taste what they cook, and if he's cooking for you he'll likely experiment with some of the foods he knows you love.

my boyfriend won't eat any other meat but bacon or beef, and physically shakes if cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise or anything white touches his food. He won't kiss me if i've eaten anything with white sauce or fish in it.

He gets really really upset if i ask him to try something and i get upset if he refuses to try something that's in his small span of foods... so it's best to just offer it once and if he says no, let it go. If he's not willing to try things, then it's not worth the hurt you'll both feel arguing over food.

If he likes to eat out or is open to the idea, I'd try taking him to a tapas restaurant and making a night of ordering as many dishes as possible. If you get 15-ish small plates and are diverse in your selections (that's fun, he can't object to that, can he??) then it's highly unlikely he won't like a few of them. Maybe you can try to recreate some new dishes or incorporate new ingredients at home?

I would definitely steer clear of the mentality that "well, he likes fried chicken, so let me try to make lots of different kinds of chicken." I'm not picky but I do find that when I have a specific expectation I'm less likely to be pleased.

I, too, am a somewhat picky eater. Truly, the only thing that has gotten me to try to branch out is that I wanted to be less annoying in restaurants and expand my horizons. But I'm still terrible.

Strangely, I used to love some things (artichokes, asparagus, mayo, scalloped potatoes, pickles, olives) when I was little, but stopped liking them over the years. Some things were the result of getting sick after eating them, but others I think my tastes just changed (or I wanted to be stubborn and it stuck)

One thing I've tried is to read the health benefits of a certain food, and try to make myself like it. Sometimes it works (avocado! Love it now!), sometimes not so much (beets... always taste like dirt.) but at least it gave me a solid reason to try. I still have a long way to go, though!

As a formerly picky eater, I can say that one of the essays in Jeffrey Steingarten's book, The Man Who Ate Everything, really opened my eyes. For the record, nearly all of my hang ups are texture related rather than flavor related.
I made it my New Year's resolution one year to be open to trying new things, and to try the same thing at least 8 or 9 times in different dishes before I could really say I didn't like it. There are still foods I don't like, but my list of foods I dislike is much much smaller. I have even made friends with my arch-nemesis from childhood, the zucchini.

Last night I tried a whole freeze dried baby crab in some kind of soy coating. They were meant to be eaten like snack food. (I had to spit it out and go brush my teeth afterwards, but I popped the whole thing in my mouth without giving it much of a thought.)

I also have to add, that eating food in season tastes so much better than frozen or out of season food. So, for example, don't make your BF try asparagus in January, wait until spring when it's at it's tastiest.

My question is an extension of this question. How do you get a picky eater who sides with eating as healthy as possible to try a small amount of a quality dish that has fried elements to it? To them, the word fried is only associated with fast food and grease. The problem is this doesn't apply to restaurant grade 'fried' as in a different cooking style. How do I change this perception, or at least plant the seeds?

Both of us were tremendously picky eaters, and we've branched out by cooking familiar foods with a few unusual ingredients or flavors.

Our local fruit market has lots of spices for food from different backgrounds. If he'll eat cheese and pasta, try saag paneer, goat cheese enchiladas, truffled macaroni gratin, ricotta gnocchi, penne frittata, or fondue (Gruyere works well with bread, green apples, and veggies).

If he'll eat potatoes, go for garden vegetable gratin, rosemary roast potatoes, or potato and leek soup. Potato pizza's great, too.

Try a twist on latkes with courgette fritters, or bruschetta made with grilled eggplant or sweet potatoes in place of bread. Rather than your usual pizza, try cauliflower pizza. Instead of cheese ravioli, maybe your boyfriend can go for mushroom and Mascarpone or butternut squash with butter sage sauce. It takes time, but having a familiar flavor can relax the palate, making it possible to work in a couple of other flavors. Once those become familiar, you can branch out even further.

Good luck!

adult picky eaters are so strange to me. it just seems so child-esque that someone would outright refuse to try something. maybe its because i was never allowed to do that when i was growing up, had to at least TRY everything.

that said, start making stuff for yourself and letting him try it. or ask him if he wouldnt mind making the effort to try a new dish you made, even though there might be something he isnt used to in it.

When my brother and I were kids and up until our teens, we were EXTREMELY picky (we still both have texture issues, though mine are limited to tomatoes). My mom didn't want her kids to grow up eating only grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken fingers, so she made a rule: every year, we had to try at least 10 new things.

And it worked. We both really expanded what we ate, and wanted to try far more than just 10 things a year. I still try to do it, though I'm running out of things that aren't the stuff Andrew Zimmern partakes in.

I also had the benefit of being with a partner who encouraged me to try new foods -- he would eat basically anything, so it became a challenge to find something that I would eat and he wouldn't (he also introduced me to both sushi and Indian food). Eventually, we learned that I could eat durian and he couldn't even swallow it...but I think that's not that unusual for most people.

I used to be very picky, but over the past few years I have made a huge turnaround! There are probably a few major things that contributed to that. I started cooking and got really sick of always making the same things, and when I looked up recipes they had so many ingredients I had never tried. I started living in an area with WAY more food choices and ethnic restaurants, and even though I didn't branch out right at first I was convinced/decided that I would try one bite of my husband's or friend's dish. And I realized that our tastes change ever few years so that even though I didn't like something a few years ago I might like it now, so it is at least worth a try. Although my husband isn't very picky he is very anti-vegetable but he agrees to at least try things and I started off by making fresh veggies he thought he didn't like and I just drenched them in salt in butter or roasted them in the oven with olive oil and seasonings. He has since realized that before he had probably only tried poor quality or poorly cooked versions and that makes a huge difference.

He might be a supertaster. Many adults who are picky eaters are. If so, the reason why he doesn't like the things that the rest of us like is that they really do taste different to him. You would think that having a very keen sense of taste would be good, but actually it makes many flavors overwhelming.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster

1. Alcohol first. Get a beer or some wine in him, then try a new food. Inhibitions lowered, he may be more likely to take a shine to something new and strange.

2. Nothing makes people open to new flavors like being hungry. Cut out appetizers and snacks (with his blessing, of course. He isn't four) after lunchtime, and whatever is served at dinner will seem WAY yummier.

3. Find a TV chef personality that he can identify with, and watch them. Alton Brown opened up so many doors for me that way.

4. If all else fails, put bacon on his portion. Pairing the positive stimuli with something new could very well get him liking the new thing on his own.

I don't understand how people can date, let alone marry, people with these nonsensical limitations. Food allergies I can understand, but "won't kiss me if I eat anything with white sauce" is so ridiculous it's almost funny.

it really depends on why he's picky and if he's actually at all interested in learning to like new things.

I was an extremely picky child. I didn't even like pizza or hamburgers. it was mostly a control issue, but also partly just the way my palette developed. many food literally made me gag that I can eat with pleasure now-- there is hope!

don't go too fast. start with the most 'normal' foods he refuses. learn why he doesn't like them and work with it. texture? cook it in a way that it won't bother him. my mom finely chopped mushrooms into her stuffing, leading my brother and I to love the flavor. it took a few years before I could eat a whole mushroom, but now I do. that said, learn which battles not to fight. I would slap someone (after gagging) who tried to slip me hard boiled egg.

do be careful. he may be feigning pickiness out of pure embarrassment for his culinary ignorance. it's a lot easier to say "I don't like that!" than to admit you have no clue what something is or show fear that you won't like it and look 'unsophisticated' in your reaction. if you have him cook with you, you can provide information and explanation without adding to his embarrassment. you can also substitute 'safe' ingredients. if a recipe calls for pancetta and he's wary of anything with a foreign name, just use bacon. the whole recipe will seem more 'normal'.

I 100% agree with Rick Roberts's comment: "Don’t date or marry these people unless you like a life of no interest or adventure."

I absolutely cannot stand picky eaters. My ex-boyfriend would ask "What is in it?" when I gave him some delish snack to eat (no he didn't have any allergies), and that alone was a MAJOR piss off for me. Like I'd give him something yucky.

One of my current boyfriend's older teen cousins while visiting my bf's parents refused to eat anything other than macaroni and cheese from the box and hot dogs. I was literally in disbelief. Bf's stepmom had to prepare a special meal just for him so he doesn't starve (instead of steak). How absolutely rude and disgusting!

I want to slap all picky eaters with an old raw fish. I will never tolerate that in my house.

I agree: it's a boundary issue. One doesn't have the right to make another adult eat something they don't want to.
That said, there are a lot of good strategies listed here... especially the "use quality ingredients" idea.

I thankfully have a boyfriend who is if anything a more adventurous eater than I am.

I honestly don't have much patience with people who are picky eaters for any reason other than: allergy or other physical need to avoid a food (sugar if diabetic or milk if lactose intollerant) or a religious/ethical reason. Anything else I expect the person who I'm cooking for to make an effort to try it and if they don't like it they are welcome to make their own dinner. It's very likely this person may need to let her BF know that he'll be responsible for his own cooking if he isn't willing to be more adventurous.

You're probably fighting a losing battle - eating habits are established in childhood, and children follow the example of those around them. As others have said, he's an adult, let him cook his own meals if he dislikes what you've cooked.

Great suggestions. I was picky eater as a child myself -- it runs in my family, among my cousins and across generations, so it's not a question of having been spoiled, as some claimed.

And how disappointing that among the thoughtful replies were the usual smattering of self-righteous sneers that *they* would never stand for such a thing or marry such a person. What makes you think such comments are helpful?

I feel your struggle! My boyfriend is also a fairly picky eater - vegetables, except for a *rare* spinach salad, are right out and I've basically had to accept this and stop trying. It is frustrating for me sometimes since I have a very adventurous palate, but my best advice for meals where you want to branch out would be to either a) go to restaurants where you know there's both simple things your partner would like and more adventurous things to keep you interested or b) cook something for you and something else for him. Option b doesn't have to involve much effort - we do a "mixed grill" lots of nights where he'll get the simply seasoned chicken breast he wants and I'll pick up some interesting new fish or sausage or something that I want to try and we can just cook them side by side on the grill pan.

And like other commenters I do NOT think differences in food preferences preclude a happy relationship! Food - moreover healthy, interesting food - is a major part of my life and it's tough when my partner doesn't have the same priorities, but I figure that if the only thing we can't agree about is what to eat for dinner, we're doing pretty well otherwise :)

People HAVE to be willing to try things. So many people I have known seem to have mindsets against whole classes of food. I may not like something but I will always at least try it.

No more boyfriends who are picky eaters--I got tired of all the endless accommodation!

I was a picky eater when I was a child and the foods I was really forced to eat then are the foods that I still hate to eat now, although I will if it's to be polite.
The summer after I finished highschool I went on a trip to Malawi, in Africa, and was told that my picky habits would not cut it. The ultimatum was that if I didn't eat everything on my plate at every training weekend then I wasn't allowed to go. They wrote me a list of basic ingredients - vegetables mostly, but I was also vegetarian due to fussiness, so beef, chicken and sausages were on there too - and I took it home. Whenever my mum was making something with the ingredients, I was required to try a forkful. The next time it would be two forkfuls, and eventually I would be having full portions. Before my staple diet was spaghetti Os and grilled cheese, but now I do eat everything.
My mum had been trying for years to get me to eat more food, but until I had a strong source of motivation, I didn't make the change. As a method of changing, I liked having the list up in the kitchen, and marking off things as I tried them and started to like them, so I could see the progress I was making.

If he does want to change his eating habits, then a small reward-type method might help. Write a list of all YOUR favourite ingredients, and cross them off one by one (or some other small reward - a beer, or a take out the following day, or whatever he chooses. Being able to see his progress might help him, and having a list makes expanding a lot less scary, because there is a set end point.
Once I had the basic list of ingredients down and started enjoying food, I became more willing to try new things myself, and am now even expanding my cheese horizons, which I never thought I would do.

My brother used to be really picky with foods growing up, but since he's actually grown up now, he's been experimenting with food more, thanks to his wife. If it weren't for her, he'd be eating beef jerky and Redbull - as she loves REAL food (the stuff that we Kitchn'ers love).

Like TabbieWolf, I had textural issues growing up. For example, I wouldn't eat mushrooms because they were usually some sort of canned ones (therefore rubbery) or broccoli stalks (which are what a majority of frozen broccoli usually is in the bag). I eat the random mushroom here and there, but it has to be fresh and cooked well. As for broccoli stalk, I love it now more than the crowns after feeling so wasteful for throwing it away. There are still some weird things I have about foods - but nothing that scares me off of eating them, such as the way the seeds inside a bell pepper looks. I don't know why, but both me and my mother get chills down our spines seeing those little white buggers clinging to the wall, all lined up. Ergh...

I'm also very fortunate to have a boyfriend who is willing to try new things. Actually I can't say "willing" as that makes it sound like he's picky, which he's really not. He works in an Italian restaurant, which makes some really amazing and pretty damn well authentic dishes, so he's no stranger to food. Since the 9 months we've been together, I've introduced him to Sushi, Thai food other than pad thai), phở, sriracha, tofu and tempeh and a slew of cheeses and other flavour combinations. And he's not just into eating new things, he loves cooking new things, too. For example, I came home the other night to a cranberry and pear BBQ marinated chicken on a bed of bleu cheese coated romaine tossed with dried cranberries and pear shards, all topped with gorgonzola... I'm so lucky. :) He's usually big on flavours when he cooks, while I'm more of a lighter guy... Like last night, I made calamari-ring-style organic pasta (from whole foods) tossed with sauteed red bell pepper, a bit of white onion and, a lot of tempeh, with olive oil, rosemary, thyme and lavender sea salt. Simple, yet he loved it. Regardless, we actually discuss what we make/eat and give the dish a score on a scale from 1-10, and give feedback on how to improve or just overall change the dish into something else completely.

I ask my husband what it is about the food that he doesn't like, and usually it's either just the idea of it (i.e. he has never actually tasted it), his mom made him eat it when he was younger, or it was cooked poorly in his past. So now when I make something new, I acknowledge it's something he's never had and may not like, but I don't tell him what it is until he's at least taken one normal sized bite (not a lick -- fool me once). Sometimes the name of it alone turns him off and he won't try it, which is why I have to wait to tell him what it is until after he tastes it. And sometimes, it's just the preparation of the food itself. For example, he hates cooked spinach, but if I use raw spinach in a salad, he'll eat it right up.

I agree with Charlotte. I hate it when people say they don't like something, but they've never even had a bite of it before. You have to at least try it. How can you have an opinion without ever tasting it? So if the husband doesn't like whatever I've made for whatever reason, fine. At least he's actually tasted it. Not everyone has to like everything.

I was an extremely picky eater growing up, and my mom did the same thing several other mothers here did too--she made me take two bites of whatever she prepared, and if I still didn't like it, I was welcome to go make myself a bowl of cereal. I ate a metric ton of Cheerios, to be sure, but since I tried everything every time (and my mother is an excellent cook), I eventually started liking new things. Same with restaurants--my parents took us out quite a bit and asked me if I wanted to try their dishes every time.

I think I was just a really stubborn little kid. Another trick that worked for my mom was inviting people I liked over for meals. I would eat anything my older cousin would eat, because I liked her so much and figured if she liked things, they had to be good. So perhaps arranging dinner dates with his more adventurous friends might inspire him to try new foods. This tactic works especially well if you are both trying something new--that way he doesn't feel like the deck is stacked against him. Almost all of my food breakthroughs came after trips with friends, dinners with extended family, etc.

You can try pulling a "bread and jam for Francis" on him...
You can get a third party to enthuse over some new dish...
But mostly just let him be, and enjoy healthy food yourself. When he gets sick of his unvaried food and starts looking for 'something different' it will be around.

10 years ago, when I first started dating my husband, he wouldn't eat any fish - my mother had to plan an alternate entree sometimes. Repeated exposure to a huge variety of well cooked fish led to him gradually trying things off my plate, accepting fish broth soups, and eventually ordering lobster and salmon on his own.

I think the shift came about because I asked why he didn't like it - texture, smell, flavour - and then tailored the intros to minimize the negatives. Also not making a huge scene. And repeated exposure.

Adults are allowed to have preferences but tastes also change. Plus, using recipes from chefs/styles you know they like.

Mixing veggies into pasta sauce makes sense to me. Or making sweets like zucchini bread.

There's a big difference between truly not liking something and saying you don't like everything you've never actually tried. I do get really annoyed at the latter. We have a couple of friends like that and often have to limit our restaurant selection because of them. You shouldn't force or trick someone into eating something they don't like (I wouldn't want anyone force-feeding me bananas), but insisting they give something a fair shot I think is fine.

@mavieenrose, you couldn't have said it better. Props to you.

I'm a very picky eater who's trying to change. I agree with those who said to go slow, don't force him, and DON'T sneak! Let him make the decisions; go at his pace. It may take a while, but eventually he'll expand his "edible" list.

Picky grown ups are so annoying - there are foods (even meals) I dont really like, but I'm a grown up, so I eat them (I exclude allergies but dont have any, even though I really need one for dads crunchy lasagne), why cant you?

A friend of my sister had been convinced by his mother that corn kernals (sp?) were "yellow peas" bc peas were the only vegies he ate - when they (accidently) let him know that it was corn, there were problems...

I had this same problem 8 years ago when I began dating the person who is now my husband. When we met, I was a vegetarian and he was one of those people who would eat steak, hamburger (no lettuce, no tomato, and no pickles), and pizza kind of guys. It annoyed me to no end. What bothered me most was the mentality behind his pickiness--he didn't care to expose himself to new things. He didn't care to experiment and without even trying something he assumed he knew better than I about what was good and what was bad. I told him why his attitude bothered me. That to me it represented an arrogance and a closed-mind which are attributes I could never appreciate in a significant other. And that I knew that these characteristics were not in line with who we truly was as a person. I also told him that with his current attitude, I could never introduce him to my family. My family is Persian and food is a HUGE part of who they are. And Persian food is weird for westerners. We serve yogurt on the side of everything and pickled vegetables and will add raisins to rice dishes. You have to be open-minded to appreciate it. After we had this talk, he promised me that he would try. He didn't promise he'd like anything but he promised to always try and be as open-minded as possible. Now, the guy who never ate fish in his life is a huge fan of sushi, the guy who never ate vegetables now can't get enough of them and most importantly HE LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Persian food. :)

I'm sorry. I realize there are a lot of typos in my message above. I was trying to finish a conference call while typing!

As an adult picky eater, I can promise you, it's no walk in the park for us. It's not just a "I don't wanna" mentality. It's closer to a phobia. It comes with all kinds of social anxiety just about anytime we go out to eat, it's ten fold when we're around new people and have to field all the questions about what we will or won't eat, and why haevn't we tried this or that. And don't blame our parents. My folks often tried to get me to try new things. They tried telling me I had to sit at the table until I did, or take just a bite or even offered rewards. None of it worked on me. And I hate it. But trying something new is often followed by gagging and even vomitting.

mavieenrose, I'd love to know more about how you were able to start trying new foods. I'm still pretty healthy, but as I'm now in my mid 30s, I'm more afraid of not being around for my family.