Blogging about food is a tricky thing sometimes. In order for something to be post-worthy, it's usually a pretty wonderful and delicious thing to eat. Or, if it's not, then there has to be some kind of story about that. Or it could be a new discovery. Or have some meaning in our lives and culture. But we seldom write about ordinary, everyday food or eating. We don't sit down at the table to an ordinary PB&J lunch, and then move over to the computer and blog about it.
Everyday food isn't always fabulous, or revelatory, or new. It's often not worth writing home (or a blog) about. It's usually just lunch or breakfast or dinner, plain and simple. And that's just fine.
My mother eats the same lunch nearly every day and has been doing this for 20, maybe 25, years now: swiss cheese on good hearth bread, toasted, with lots of Hellman's mayo and lettuce, and served with a side of lemon yogurt and a banana. She loves this so much that if she goes out for lunch and misses it, she'll make it for dinner. A nice thing, this swiss cheese sandwich, but not necessarily something to write up a recipe for.
So it is with a lot of our everyday encounters with food.
The other evening my neighbor spontaneously knocked on my door and asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner. "We haven't hung out in a while," she said, "and it's no big deal for me to throw some more pasta in the pot, so come on over." I happily accepted. Who could pass on such an easy commute?
Twenty minutes later, I knocked on her door and we sat down to a nice meal ala Trader Joe's: a simple romaine salad with store-bought dressing that was followed by artichoke pasta covered with some slightly doctored up jarred sauce. She apologized briefly: "If I would have planned this in advance, I would have had more than Trader Joe's food for us." But the Trader Joe's food was just fine, pretty tasty as a matter of fact. And I completely preferred the spontaneous act of neighborly hospitality to a more elaborate presentation at the table. I was very happy that her lack of fabulous food didn't keep my neighbor from knocking at my door.
So lately my manta has been 'it doesn't always have to be fabulous' which helps me to relax, enjoy the moment and be a little spontaneous. It helps me appreciate those little stories to be found in the ordinary moments, like my mother's swiss cheese sandwich lunch and my neighbor's all Trader Joe's meal. Sometimes, fabulousness just isn't what I have a taste for.
Related: Weekend Meditation: Waiting for the Perfect Time ...
(Image: Dana Velden)
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For some of us, the "food" isn't what's on the plate. What nourishes us is the connections around food, the emotional life that comes with every meal, no matter how simple. I think fabulous can be a swiss cheese sandwich eaten in that special place only solitude can give, or a trader joe's meal that is made more as an excuse to reconnect than anything else.
Isn't that why we love food? Cause it nourishes something in us besides just our body?
I agree. I also have a mantra about inviting people over, "The flat doesn't need to be that clean." I don't want to be held back by my not-always-spotless floors or crumpled cushions. It's about making and having good friendships and enjoying our time together.
Dana, I always look forward to reading your weekend meditations! They are always thought provoking....
Great post, and I completely agree! I always look forward to the simple, everyday meals.
So true. Foods that would generally be categorized as "simple" often provoke the most wonderful memories: how simple is a s'more, and yet how rich the thought of crisp autumn air; being snuggled up around a roaring campfire with dear friends; laughter. I will forever covet those cheap after-dinner mints from the grocery store because they remind me of my grandma, who always had them with her and handed them out to everyone for a treat. And what about a perfectly ripe, sweet, in-season peach? Can there be anything more divine?
Former president Gerald Ford is said to have had the same lunch each day - cottage cheese smothered in catsup. Hard to imagine this being evocative of anything. Sounds more like a vacancy. Oops... Sort of reminds me of the Cliff Bar with peanut butter I had for breakfast three times last week.
i'm all about not being fabulous with my food blog - i do have wonderful foodie experiences (like i did last night with 10 gourmet cookies to sample as my "job") but i think my readers really appreciate the mundane...
What a fabulous post. (Sorry.) Your weekend meditations are wonderful.
Wonderful post.
If one doesn't demand fabulous all the time, or even most of the time, it makes one deeply appreciate the sublime wonder of the ordinary. It simplifies one's desires and fosters deep contentment.
I find that more often than not, most of the meals we eat aren't faboulous - just simple 'get-through-the-day' meals. It makes the 'fabulous' meals more special!
right on! simple and moments of shared food is what it is all about.
Agreed! Every meal doesn't have to be the most elaborate, be-all, to end-all other meals. Oftentimes, the simplicity in the mundane is just what a person needs.
Amen! Whether it's boxed mac and cheese or a fluffanutter—YUM—sometimes the most appealing/quickest meal is the most simple or familiar.
I'm reminded of the advice "The pie crust you make is better than the one you don't."
A friend once remarked that the fabulous-ness of a meal lies in the company and not in the food. I mostly agree with him.
Thank you for this wonderful post. I was reminded of the the lunches my grandmother and I would have when I was a little girl over at her house over summer vacation. She would always have salami with butter on toasted rye and earl grey tea, and it tasted fabulous!
Wonderful post. Reminds me of my grandma.
Excellent post!
I knew someone who insisted upon cooking fantastic meals every single day and it was honestly tiresome to watch her. Enviable perhaps, but far more work than I could manage most of the time.
My father ate tuna fish/pb&j sandwiches and an apple for lunch for nearly all of his work career (he's retired now and mostly eats leftovers for lunch).
When I can't be bothered to cook something of note, I usually reach for the pierogis (Mrs. T's) in my freezer. It's not fabulous but it's comforting, and I sometimes make them "fancy" by serving them atop sauteed garlicky spinach (one of my other favorite foods). I'll never tire of them.
I loved this. Just this weekend, I had peanut butter sandwich with some strawberry jam (easy to eat while walking dog). As I ate that, I was reminded of how sometimes the simple can be sublime. Thank you!
Just the other day I got grief from my partner for eating my same old turkey/provolone (swiss if I'm feeling feisty) /lettuce/mayo/yellow mustard/wheat/fruit salad/diet coke for lunch every day. But I enjoy it! It feels comforting and reminds me of home. Habit isn't necessarily a terrible thing..I find peace in knowing that I can sit down to a sandwich that I really enjoy. For those thirty minutes I can focus on relaxing, and eating something I know will nourish me for the rest of the day!
Great post, I completely agree! There is nothing like having your best friend over for "whatever for dinner."
Couldn't agree more - it's all about sitting down together. I always cook a large amount, and often have unexpected dinner guests. Food's never wasted as I have a large family who are always willing to eat.
This is really something I need think hard about. I think that my main problem is that I always see food as being for pleasure rather than sustainance. Not that my meals aren't healthy (because they are), but I tend to focus on the pleasure part rather than the fuel part so much. Occasionally if I run out of meals to make for the week, I find it nearly impossible to make myself eat what I have, especially if I'm out of produce. It throws me into a panic. I need to work on this.
I think your mother's favorite lunch is well worth writing about! I love that she would make it for dinner if she didn't have it for lunch. She was indulging in self care of the yummiest kind.
I only have one food I indulge in day after day, and it's only when I'm at work: Greek yogurt, 1 t honey, splash of almond extract and some kind of berries I pack separately and throw in when I get my break. It's great at 3AM when I slip away from my patients