Traditions: To Keep or To Change?

After a large gathering or holiday, I like to spend a bit of time reflecting on what worked, what didn't work, surprises, and traditions.

After Thanksgiving dinner, we always go on a walk and pull out a board game with pie and coffee afterwards. This year, everyone was too tired to pull out the board game and instead of forcing ourselves to get into it because it's what we always do -- we just didn't. And everyone was o.k. with that.

Traditions are a funny thing. On a lovely blog called Remedial Eating, Molly Hays talks about her family's Halloween this year, noting, "And that's when I remembered the important thing about traditions, that they're only as good as the happy they bring. And sometimes that looks like repeating what was. And sometimes that looks like forgetting all that."

It's nice to feel like you can recreate holiday traditions to accommodate new guests, maturing tastes, and changing times. It's important to find a balance in the way that you always do things and allowing some sense of newness to creep in. I think that's one way to keep the holidays dynamic and, dare I say, a little magical?

(Image: Megan Gordon)

Comments (9)

Our Thanksgiving is usually spent about a 5 hour drive away from home. Most of the family makes the trek to spend the weekend away together. This year, however, it felt a bit arduous to drive the long distance (we had all just done virtually the same drive in the summer) so collectively we decided to not partake in this tradition. I thought I'd never see the day that Thanksgiving was spent locally, having travelled for the last 15 years. But that's the great thing about my family, even though they seem steadfast in their traditions, they are happy to make a change when it benefits the whole group!

Losing the board games would be my ideal solution to Thanksgiving and all holidays, for that matter. It always feels like a job!

Keep: food. Change: family.

My mom always makes mashed buttermilk squash, which nobody likes much. Next year I'm going to see if I can make it--roasted with garlic or a smooth soup would be popular, I think.

Butternut. Whatever. Buttermilk squash might be good, who knows...

I would prefer that the drones who spend their time on the couch, eyes glazed over, watching football would be more interactive with the rest of the Thanksgiving crowd. (I'm looking at you, Dad, who always complains that he's not included in anything). :\

Overall it was a great time though!

This year we are rethinking a lot of our traditions. My dad walked out this year, moved his stuff out, moved to China (After 29 years of marriage) and abandoned my mother and younger siblings. I've moved back in to help however I can. We still haven't decided what to change, what to keep, and how to deal with everything, but I think this year we'll feel closer throughout the holidays, and will start new traditions.

This is something my husband I have been debating after yet another family get together that (yet again) ended in my sister and I being labelled "users" (and myself a useless daughter who's going to hell due to being an atheist) by our mother who was showing off for some new friends. It happens every fracking year during the holidays. Perhaps the time has come for us to start new traditions of our own. I'm all for it. My husband is very "it's all about family, including your parents. Holidays need to be spent with them no matter what." -_-;; Even if it means sitting there for 3 hours getting berated by a mother who doesn't appreciate all you do for her. (She's disabled, my dad had open heart surgery 3 weeks ago. Guess who's been running all their errands, helping with cleaning etc. etc.? Yeah. My sister and I.)

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments!