“It is not from ourselves that we learn to be better than we are.” — Wendell BerryWhen I enjoy someone's cooking I invariably say to them "hey, let's cook together sometime!" I could ask for a recipe and of course that would be fine but there is something far more powerful and enjoyable in being taught by another person. A recipe is a formula but hanging out together in the kitchen is an experience. And there are things that can be learned by watching and doing that just do not fit on a recipe card.
Today's cooks are often autodidacts due, I believe, to the combination of a natural curiosity inherent in being a cook and the enormous selection of resource materials at our fingertips. These days it's easier than ever to teach ourselves how to debone a chicken or make a cassoulet. There's nothing wrong with this, of course. Sometimes the only teacher around is that youtube video or chapter from Larousse Gastronomique.
But anyone who has learned how to cook from another person knows the power and importance of this way of learning. Another human being will challenge us in ways we would never do on our own: to reach further, or in a different direction, or to stay with something when we are ready to give up. To work side-by-side with someone whose experience and talent is, for the moment, beyond our own is a precious opportunity to stretch past our own limits.
One of the greatest pieces of advice I've ever received is to always be teachable. This means fostering a state of mind that is open to change, ready to shift and discover and be available for the lesson at hand. Being an expert, thinking we've know everything there is to know is a trap and it limits us. To be in the mode of learning and discovery is to be in the realms of possibility and freedom.
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few." - Shunryu Suzuki
These days I see a lot of teaching and learning and sharing about food in local communities. People are teaching each other how to can tomatoes and make kraut, to butcher a pig and decorate wedding cakes. This encourages me and makes me hopeful about the future. When we're teaching and learning from each other, we are reminded that we need each other. And when we remember that, we begin to cherish and respect each other, together creating communities, and indeed a world, worth living in.
(Image: Dana Velden)
It's so personally cool to me that the pic you used to illustrate this point shows people making potstickers. About 25 years ago, in a summer house on Fire Island, NY, a friend from Taiwan showed me how to make them. We made 780 potstickers that day for a large group of friends. Thanks for the walk down memory lane. :)
view FengShuiByFishgirl's profile
Dana, another wonderful post. I always enjoy your writing. Thank you.
view STH's profile
And in the end you usually end up with a memory of not just the lesson, but the delicious food, and how to make it and the joy of a great time together.. What's not to love about that?
view Daigan's profile
Thank you for this beautiful post and reminder!
view Emily Ho's profile
One of the things I've really appreciated in our county 4-H program is that it really encourages this kind of teaching/learning/mentoring. I've helped kids from other families learn how to make jams and jellies, guided them through sewing projects, and build model rockets. In turn other families have helped my kids out in areas we might not have the skills or tools for. Sure, we could have probably checked youtube and muddled through, but there's just no replacement for that one-on-one experience.
view Merry123's profile
Learning to cook by example vs a recipe is a huge difference. I taught my friend how to make dumplings and I found she was forever putting far too much filling in them so they would burst. Some things you really need to see and feel how something is cooked. It generally sticks in your mind too.
view buda's profile
I agree with the general sentiment: what's more wonderful than cooking with a friend or relative? But, I disagree that a recipe is simply a formula. It's a starting point from which many different outcomes can emerge. I have yet to follow one in its entirety, and learn from that each and every time.
view Onepot's profile
I taught my mom how to cook sweet potato fries this weekend and although they are very simple to make, it was the time we got to spend together that meant the most. We enjoyed eating them too ;)
Thanks for the post!
view youenjoymyself's profile
What a beautiful post! And what a great reminder to us to always be open to learning (and teaching) new things, not only in the kitchen, but in life as well!
view juju73's profile
I have a food blog and for the past year, I've been having friends come over to make something they really want to try making together (pasta, unique cookies, holiday food.) No longer having family nearby to cook with, I really enjoy spending time with my friends this way and we each walk away with delicious food!!!
view edava72's profile