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The Celluloid Pantry: Big Cold Cuts, Small Bread and This is Spinal Tap (1984)

7-10-07SpinalTap.jpgThere’s a story about Van Halen and M&M's. The band's tour rider was said to specify that a bowl of the candy always had to be waiting backstage with the brown pieces removed. If a single brown one was found, all bets were off. Lead singer David Lee Roth later claimed this was only a litmus test, a kind of a marker for the ability to follow instructions. “We have a very technical tour operation,” he explained.

 
 

In Christopher Guest’s deadpan mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap (1984), heavy metal front man Nigel Tufnel (Guest) comes close to meltdown in the dressing room of a university auditorium when he can’t understand the food.

7-10-07brokenbread.jpgIt’s the miniature bread that throws the long-haired, leather-pant-wearing headbanger, and the frustration of the whole thing nearly brings him to tears. You see, while the cold cuts are all regular scale, the bread’s the size of crackers. Sandwiches just don’t work.

“I’ve been working with this now for about half an hour. I can’t figure it out,” he tells band manager, Ian Faith (Tony Hendra), a wobble in his voice.

When Ian suggests he fold it, Nigel loses it. “No, then it’s half the size,” he says, bending the bread until it crumbles in his hands and falls to the floor.
“Not the bread,” Ian explains carefully, “You could fold the meat.”

But Nigel’s inconsolable: “If you keep folding it, it keeps breaking…and then…everything has to be folded, and then it’s THIS and I don’t want THIS. I want large bread!”

Ian promises it won’t happen again and hopes it doesn’t affect Nigel’s performance.

“I’ll rise above it,” Nigel says putting on his bravest face. “I’m a professional, right?”

- Nora

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Comments (2)

I love Spinal Tap! Woooooo all the way up to 11! Hee hee. Nigel, bless him! Also reminds me of the old British roadie in Wayne's World 2 (come on, you know its more fun than Bergman!) and his endlessly repeated story about "so I was trying to find a brandy glass filled with brown m&ms, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night..."

posted by tin_angel on July 12th 2007 at 12:46pm
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Spinal Tap is a classic - I put it on a par with Up in Smoke for making your tummy hurt from laughing. The bit about the Stonehenge stage prop being trampled on by dwarves was probably one of my favourite bits (along with 'this goes up to 11' of course!). Brilliant :-)

posted by Pip on July 19th 2007 at 1:55am
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