apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I got really ambitious with my gift registry and ended up returning almost half of the items I got because 1) I had no space and 2) I seriously wasn't going to be using some items in the next couple of years.

I don't want a do-over (love the hubs to bits!), but in hindsight, I definitely would've made the list smaller, and focused on more quality items like a good blender, a Dutch oven..etc.

But I also found that a lot of people would end up giving me gift cards towards my gift registry rather than purchasing the items, and that was useful too.

I had a small but perfectly functional collection of pots and pans -- so getting married allowed me to expand. I could (and still do everything) with the stuff I had -- and most sits in a closet waiting for a move to suburbia.

Things I didn't have and am sure glad i got :)
Le Creuset pot
A functional roasting rack
A really good toaster oven (which I use over the oven in the summer)
Matching, unchipped plates and glasses
Awesome knives

Unnecessary things I delight in:
Kitchenaid stand mixer
Fancy rice cooker (great for oatmeal)
My fancy hotpot for boiling water

Things I sure didn't need:
Stick blender (its really not that hard to use a real blender)
New bakeware/marble rolling pin
Loose leaf teapot
Random serving platters

I hate to say it, but I knew that if we asked for just a few quality items - no one would get them & we'd end up with weird, crazy stuff (possibly from the Lilian Vernon catalog). That being said, we love our 2 Wusthof knives (chef & paring) and can't imagine when we'll ever use the Acacia Cheese Dome(!), but we do wish we had received more than 2 sets of our wedding china before it was discontinued (C&B Platinum Line... so sad).

I was really happy with our registry. I did have to reel my husband in a couple of times, but still things got buy me. For example, what are we going to do with an electric knife. It has not been used since we got it and we don't like cooking large birds.

no regrets here. we kept our registry small b/c we knew we didn't have a lot of space (and b/c i'm mean and laugh at people who register for eight different vegetable peelers). we registered for only the things that we knew we needed, and would use regularly and for many years to come - nice white every day dishes, substantial everyday glasses, matching everyday cutlery, nice cooking utensiles, new baking stuff (including the lovely kitchenaid mixer b/c the husband likes to bake). the only stuff we registered for that we *haven't* used yet is the fancy china set - i'm happy we have it, but it sits in a box in the closet and we prob won't use it until we have a bigger place and can host holiday dinners and such.

No do-overs/regrests for me either. Between the registry, the returned duplicates (or lets be honest, items I/we just didn't care for) and gift cards, I have quality cookware (All Clad), everday flatware, a wonderful collection of knives (steak and cooking), linens, serving bowls/platters and stemware; not to mention the rarely used items such as china and silverware. LOVE my stuff.

I wouldn't do it over again, I loved how we did it. We did a destination wedding so were not expecting gifts. Our big ticket items were new arcteryx backpacks and besides those we had a total of 5 other things on our registry. One was a hand mixer. Other than that friends gave us many wooden bowls, spoons, and plates that we love. People hosted random receptions for us around the country and besides an odd chaffing dish and a cherished salt and pepper shaker set folks gave us money. We obtained sweet, gently used le creuset and descoware products. The only PITA was detailing the thank you notes for everything we bought with the gift money.

We too had a lot of the basics before getting married: Wustof knife set, All-Clad pots and pans set, Kitchen Aid mixer. So when we went to register, we started off small with a new set of dishes, new glasses, new silverware, as what I had previously was a mish-mash of plates from the 50s in different colors. Even though it is cheaper to buy the entire set of dishes, I registered for the pieces so we would have many lower-priced items on the list for guests to buy.

Then we added some specialty Wustof knives (I LOVE the tomato knife), a dutch oven, lasagna roasting pan, a few baking dishes and new cookie sheets/pie pans since the ones I had were beat up after many years of use. One of my favorite things was a pizza stone and pizza peel, which I'm sure people thought "whatever, like she'll ever use that", but I do get quite a bit of use out of them (so much better than delivery!).

I even use the serving dishes quite often (we registered for the classic century set from Crate and Barrel). So, I'm quite happy with all of the loot we received, and moving recently made me realize how often I use everything in the kitchen (kitchen was unpacked within two days due to me trying to find this, that, and the other). For the most part, people bought us stuff from the registry, unless we didn't have anything on it (everything would be purchased, so I would add more over time). When the list ran dry, we started getting crystal vases and such.

no regrets here - i still use most of my stuff. if i had to do it over again i'd add a few big ticket items: le creuset dutch oven and a really nice carving knife.

I would have registered with Heath Ceramics and had LeCreuset over at Macy's.

Ditch the formal china and silverware. Get double the amount of decent neutral everyday china and silverware.

It appears those happiest are those who didn't overdo their list.

I don't believe in registry ... the idea is still odd to me to "ask" for gifts. I buy gifts for weddings, but I'd never do a registry myself.

With that said, my wish list items wouldn't be found at stores offering registry like antique giant restaurant whisk, vintage pyrex gooseberry dishwares. My kitchen is my personal sanctuary also; i'd be much happier seeking out these loveliness on my own than put it on a list.

Though i wouldn't mind if weddings would catch up with modern times where one can register at Jimmy Choo or Craigslist.

Our anniversay was yesterday and we were just talking about this. I would not re-do our registry. We were careful not to select things we didn't think we'd have space for or wouldn't use. Our registries (C&B, Macy's and REI) were nearly complete and we finished them up with gift cards.

Everyday dishes and flatware from C&B, some serving platters I love having, a few new Calphalon skillets, Wustof knives, very extravagant. We did Macy's for bedding and bath items and REI for some new camping gear.

My grandmother gave me her formal china, silver, and crystal, so I was already set in those departments. Sadly, those boxes have not been touched since I moved them to our house.

The registry process still makes me laugh because my husband called it, "signing up for stuff".

Whoah, that should have said "nothing very extravagant".

I received a stick blender and never would have wanted one, but I have really used it for the last twenty years. It is getting weak now. Great for putting right into a pot and blending a soup or into a big glass to make a smoothie,

My husband and I got married almost two weeks ago and we're just getting around to the 'return or keep' gift dance.

We registered at Macy's for All-Clad, Wusthof knives, Oneida flatware and a few other kitchen tools we deemed important at the time. We also had a small registry at Heath Ceramics I was counting on my style-savvy aunt and uncles to buy from.

I love my husband but he tends to get talked into things rather easily by salespeople. Rather than laughing out loud at the idea of registering for crystal goblets (seriously, we break things) I begrudgingly zapped away at a few items in the 'pretty, breakable and way-too-fancy' section of Macy's knowing full well I could remove them online later. After much discussion, "I think the saleslady is right, we may as well register for something we think looks ok rather than someone picking it for us" and "we'll never use it, I'd rather get another place setting" we left the small vase on the list. Lo and behold, what do we get from his parents? The crystal vase that will only get put out for holiday dinners.

We just got married a month or so ago, and I think we registered for and got exactly what we needed. We kept it fairly small. No dishware because we're fine with the plain old ones we have, but we did want flatware and wine glasses. Also, a fair amount of kitchen stuff (ice cream machine, griddler, cuisinart) and new bath towels. Everything was bought. Seriously. We feel so spoiled. And other people gave us amazing stuff they made. Wow.

I loved every item on our registry, but we got maybe.... 5 things? Everything else was personal gifts from close friends and family or cash or giftcards. We ended up loving all the non-registered items more than those we got that we registered for, and bought the things we truly needed with the giftcards (a basic cookware set, bakeware, etc)

Best item off registry we got: Fancy smancy electric fondue pot. 1000% better than a traditional one, easy to clean, and healthy, fast dinners (just use broth instead of oil!)

Best item not on registry: Beautiful copies of 3 classic Christmas children's books. It is a gift that will be used for years to come.

Gift we thought we would never use but use once a week: An egg cooker... it soft, medium or hard boils eggs to perfection! Egg salad has never tasted so good! (or easy) and breakfast is a snap!

My biggest regret was registering for camping gear and sporting goods we never use. That includes the wonderful charcoal grill that has never been out of the box because we don't have any outdoor space in which to use it.

We registered for gifts aspirationally, rather than for the life we actually live. Despite our stated intentions of moving to a bigger place "soon," here we are 3 years later still in the same tiny condo with no room for any of the stuff we received.

gretchenalexis, pretty much EXACTLY what i have to say word for word!

dear writer,
a point about grammar:

"we wish we would have trim our list..."

try:
we wish we had trimmed our list

We registered before designing our beautiful yellow and white kitchen, and we registered for cream dishes at Crate and Barrel. I really wish we'd gone for bright white-- better for our kitchen and for supplementing later on.

If I could do it again, I'd just ask for cash or gift cards.

All the parents said it would be horrible and rude, and then the very next year another couple in the same community asked for cash and it went just fine!

Not that I don't love most of the gifts, but all the fancy dinner sets and cuttlery and more "grown up" stuff that we'll use when we get a house some day is packed away in my parent's basement because they would never fit in our apartment. And will stay there for a few more years.

@keltrue - Look for those 2 more sets of your wedding china at replacements.com!

I had a tiny wedding and didn't bother registering anywhere. A few friends gave us gift cards. Some family gave us checks. But I already had quality stuff for my well-established kitchen, so I didn't need to register for it anyway.

Gift registries are tacky, tacky, tacky.

We're getting married sometime next year, and I don't want to set up a registry - asking for gifts always makes me feel weird (even in response to a specific, e.g., "what do you want for your birthday?"). A fair few of our guests will already have spent a chunk just getting to the wedding, and also, we've pretty much got everything we want for the kitchen - neither of us should be allowed into kitchen shops unsupervised with any kind of currency - with the few extra things being stuff that won't fit in our current rental place anyway. Oh, and new towels could be good, but we're fine with the ones we've got, so they can wait until we get around to buying a place, then they can match.

So, yeah, we're thinking of having a "wishing well" if people really want to give us cash (we'll put it towards an awesome dining table in the house we finally buy, so we can serve them all dinner off their gift to us!), and of course gladly accepting any random gifts anyone gives us, but other than that, we're set, and just want a party & celebration with all the people we care about :-)

@cara_mia: Thanks - yes, I've seen them there... at extortion prices. I think we've just resigned ourselves to pull out the 2 settings we have for our anniversary and call it a day.

We got married right out of college and had NOTHING. So our registry was very much needed in helping set up our new home. We received glassware, flatware, small appliances, a Kitchenaid mixer, dishes, and linens. We didn't register for pots & pans or knives because we wanted to pick out our own and that has worked out well for us. We also didn't register for china or crystal because I knew we would never use it. And in the last 7 years, I've never missed it.

i don't get this anti-registry sentiment. sure, for occasions other than weddings or babies it is tacky, but frankly i find registries a nice way to say "here's the kind of stuff that we would find useful" - it doesn't even matter if people buy the exact thing or not, it is still nice for inspiration.

if you don't want gifts, then your invitation should say "no gifts, please"

I agonized over our registry, my husband had only ever had guys living in his spare room so the house was a disaster area and there were about five mismatched plates and two mugs (oddly enough, a lot of pint glasses though). I had very basic stuff for baking and some decent pots and pans but not much more in the dishes/glasses department.

I ended up registering for and receiving most of the stuff I wanted (very practical, mostly) but included things like table linens and bed linens and towels as well as kitchen gear. I took the Kitchenaid stand mixer off the list and had somebody give me their old one a couple of months later so I am really glad I did that (I felt weird asking for anything that pricey). But matching dishes, wine glasses, serving plates, a couple of good pots and pans, stuff like that was a godsend to receive.

And there are always a couple people who will go off-registry no matter what (my sister just got married and I had to convince her that people want to get her stuff so they might as well get her stuff she needed/wanted - I think my three-foot tall dog butler statue was the perfect reminder for her that this is true).

The one thing I would leave off if I could do it again? Placemats. I use the tablecloth and the fabric napkins all the time (a lot of people think that is weird but I love it). The placemats can't be machine washed. Thus, they NEVER get used. Sigh. Pretty much all the kitchen gear gets used regularly except the awesome roasting pan, and it will be proving its worth soon enough ;)

ratita, while your grammatical corrections are correct, it seems out of place in a blog about food. If you feel the need to discuss proper sentence phrasing, perhaps you should find a site related to it. Also, "dear writer," should have been capitalized...

jgphotomom: Thank. You. And I'd like to add that there posters out there whose first language isn't English.

I don't understand the anti-registry sentiment, either. I'm actually disappointed when a bride and groom or parents-to-be decide not to register, because I LOVE being able to pick something off of their registry, knowing that they're more likely to use it and want it than if I just get them something I think they might like. And it makes shopping so much easier, especially for cousins who I don't see very often and whose tastes I don't know. And besides, if someone doesn't like registries, they can always ignore the registry and choose a gift without it.

I can get why some people find registries tacky: My fiance and I originally started off thinking that we wouldn't do a registry. We are asking a lot of people to come from out of town and honestly felt like that was enough -- plus we don't have a dire need for anything in particular (though we are far from set-up in most people's minds haha)
But after numerous conversations with my family we decided to register. The main reason for us registering is this: people will want to buy you a gift for your wedding, regardless of whether or not you register, and even when you ask for no gifts. A registry does make it easier on the guests. We are trying to register for a wide variety of price points and to make sure we are putting things on our registry that are meaningful, and useful -- which is why I'm really enjoying this post!

I had no idea what I needed when I registered, so I listed things I didn't need, and too many of them. 12 place settings? A 14-cup food processor? Hahahaha! Now I know better.

@keltrue I, too, got the C&B Platinum Line china for my wedding and was disappointed when I found out they were discontinued. Replacements.com is so expensive. Now I'm downsizing and would like to get rid of my four place settings plus sugar bowl, creamer, large platter and serving bowl. Only used twice and hand washed. Would you be interested in purchasing them?