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The Reluctant Baker: 5 Reasons Why I Don't Bake Pies

2008_11_04-PieSlice.jpgWe have a resident Reluctant Baker around here, and we're going to quote him on the whole business of pie-baking. See, we're in the middle of a Pie Bakeoff, but we know that a lot of you are hesitant to bake pies. So here are our top five reasons to skip the pie in favor of cake, or to buy that pumpkin pie instead of baking it yourself - all courtesy of our resident pie curmudgeon. Can you relate to any of these?

 
 
  1. I don't know how to make a good crust. Crustless pies are for wimps.
  2. My crusts burn, sag, and shrink. They are heavy, too greasy, or insubstantial next to the filling. How can something with so few ingredients be so hard? But to make a crustless pie seems, well, like giving up.

  3. I hate peeling apples.
  4. I mean, the work of filling a pie - peeling apples, and roasting pumpkins, and chopping, chopping, chopping. And even after all that...

  5. Pie filling is gross. Pumpkin pie filling is really gross.
  6. It's usually like baby food - all squishy and runny. And pie filling (from a can) isn't even made from pumpkins.

  7. A pie is more time consuming to make than a cake and less satisfying.
  8. A cake? It takes less time to whip up in the KitchenAid - even from scratch. There isn't the one-two whammy of the crust+filling work in a pie.

  9. And if I did make a pie, how the hell would I transport it all the way to Thanksgiving?
  10. My last chocolate pie slopped all over my car trunk and the traces are still there. How am I supposed to get this thing from the oven to the table in one piece?

Can you identify with any of these reasons NOT to make a pie? Or do you have reasons of your own? If so, tell us here.

Now, we just don't agree with most of these; we think that a few good tips, some new recipes, and a bit of practice would be enough to win our Reluctant Baker over to the side of the pie-baker. We'll do our best to address his reasons this month; maybe even our resident pie curmudgeon will be won over in time to bake a pie for the Bakeoff!

Related: Questions for Allie: Why Is My Pie Dough Shrinking?

(Image: Flickr member paul goyette licensed for use under Creative Commons)

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Good Questions, Burned, Best Pie Bakeoff 2008, baking, pie

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Comments (24)

My reasons:

1) My mother makes awesome, AWESOME pie crust with luscious fillings. Why bake my own when hers will be there for the eating? She even has the proper Tupperware for transporting them.

2) My mom didn't actually get around to teaching me how to make a piecrust. Until I corner her on that...

3) Making a roll-out crust makes me psychotic. I tend to swear violently and frighten people.

4) Said crust turns out ok, not awesome.

5) Which leads me back to Reason #1...

posted by cmcinnyc on November 4th 2008 at 12:28pm
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I'm too intimidated to make my own crusts. I buy pre-made crusts and then fill them with yummy from-scratch insides.

But being addicted to Pushing Daisies makes me want to make my own pies. Crust and all.



http://embritadesign.blogspot.com

posted by EmmieB on November 4th 2008 at 12:53pm
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blasphemy

posted by greyrussian on November 4th 2008 at 2:07pm
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Your pie cooking contest inspired me to make my FIRST (100 per cent-from-scratch) pie last night and, after making my banana cream pie, I now can easily state why I have never made a pie before: there is NO COVERING UP bad execution of a recipe.

Though my crust tasted great, the custard I made was incredibly runny (i.e. looked like a creamy soup).

I'll try again...someday...but my fear of failing again keeps me from wanting to run out and try it all over again any time soon. Here's to getting over it, Foodwoolf.com

posted by foodwoolf on November 4th 2008 at 3:05pm
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I was always terrified to make a pie (my grandma is a pie queen), but my 14-year-old sister makes them all the time, and my sister-in-law, so I was shamed into making my first one this weekend. I picked green tomato.

Apparently, I have pie-crust making my genes, because mine was fantastic! I think did well with the pie crust for the same reason I am bad at making bread. I under-knead bread, and that is exactly the kind of hands-off you seem to need to make a pie crust.

p.s. before anyone suggests no-knead bread: I have made four rock-hard frisbee loaves so far. No dice.

posted by matchbookhymnal on November 4th 2008 at 4:01pm
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I have to agree with reasons 1-4. I've been known to make an apple pie once in a while, but never with dough from scratch, and I've started making bread and pizza dough from scratch but pies still scare me... Maybe I'll be inspired this month.

posted by ScorpioJ on November 4th 2008 at 5:42pm
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I don't have a Kitchen Aid. Period. No pies. I want a pie...

posted by Nudik on November 4th 2008 at 6:35pm
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You don't need a KitchenAid to make a pie. They're overrated. (This coming from someone with a Pro6 in her kitchen.) I grew up making pie crust with one. I now use a pastry blender.

Regarding reason number 2...try a blueberry pie. Use frozen blueberries (I like Wyman's), and all you have to do is add sweetener, thickener, flavorings (spices, lemon juice).

posted by cara_mia on November 4th 2008 at 7:17pm
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I come from a long line of fab pie bakers (no soggy crusts). I have turned vegan so I have begun to experiment making crusts using coconut oil and making raw crusts as well. Check out some of my recipes at: www.testkitchenette.wordpress.com

posted by charmedbynancy on November 5th 2008 at 2:13am
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What is the pie in the photograph?

I'd like to make that.

posted by Chad on November 5th 2008 at 3:57am
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My reason? My husband doesn't like baked fruit pies, and hates pie crust. That pretty much ensures that I would be eating an entire pie by myself, and that is no good. So, pie does not get made in our house unless we're having guests, and that doesn't happen often. It makes me very sad, as I actually like pie more than cake.

posted by kls987 on November 5th 2008 at 4:02am
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Peeling apples for pie? Unnecessary. Skip it. Still delicious. And more fiber, so you can claim your pie is good for you!

posted by mh330 on November 5th 2008 at 6:09am
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ever seen the movie Waitress with Keri Russell, love all those pies.

posted by nickel525 on November 5th 2008 at 7:24am
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I like making pies, so I'm not your target audience, at least for this thread.

But I also hate peeling or otherwise prepping the fruit. Instead, I've had a lot of luck using combinations of frozen prepared fruit (most grocers have a nice selection) and dried fruit (which also absorbs excess juice). The fruits don't have to match.

posted by MollyNYC on November 5th 2008 at 8:05am
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i love the flavor of pies but don't have the counter space to roll out a decent crust. so i make crumbles instead--and i think i prefer them

posted by thinkingwoman on November 5th 2008 at 8:56am
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@ Reason #3: Canned pumpkin pie filling is indeed gross, but it is not the same as canned 100% pumpkin puree, which is what I use for my pumpkin pies.

@ Reason #5: In my experience, transporting a cake is just as much a PITA as a pie, if not more, if the cake has already been nicely frosted. I just cover the pie loosely with foil and lay it down on the passenger-side floor. Never had a problem.

posted by jazzybel on November 5th 2008 at 9:11am
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One of main reasons I enjoy pie is precisely because it is always something prepared and offered to me by someone else who can do it better than I ever could!

posted by L1bby on November 5th 2008 at 9:30am
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I tend not to bake, for a bunch of reasons most of which is if I do I am the only one around to eat it and well, eating a pan of brownies by yourself is not very attractive :)

posted by shayna on November 5th 2008 at 11:17am
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Pies are so forgiving! I plunged into making them in high school, and they are always appreciated, even if the crust is cracked or the filing a little too runny. A home made pie is just soooo much better than an Entenmann's, so you win no matter what.

Yes, it can be a lot of work, but a food processor (which I only acquired 2 years ago) makes the crust SO easy.

posted by Eliza on November 5th 2008 at 12:39pm
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You're cranky about pies. But I can't say that I blame you. Sometimes, my pies turn out so horribly. I DO NOT make my own crusts. And on a similar subject, tarts infuriate I tried to make some mini pecan praline tarts last year. They hardened up so much that when I tried to pop them out, the scalloped edge of the tart dug into my finger so deeply that I thought I'd need stitches. OW. And they were hard like peanut brittle. Grrr to messed up tarts and pies. Grrr!

posted by JigsawJones on November 5th 2008 at 4:25pm
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So I still come to this post and start drooling over that photograph.

I'd really like to know what pie that is up there? Sources, anyone? Any guesses?

I'm starving for that pie over here.

posted by Chad on November 6th 2008 at 1:26am
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Oh don't be so negative!!! I've been making pies as long as I can remember. But, I hate making cake. I hate trying to get the icing on and then i never even want to eat it. But a pie....mmmm i could eat the whole thing!

They are not that hard! I always do oil pie crust (a.k.a. no-roll). You just mix it up with a wooden spoon and smush it in and then do crumble top. Blueberries are the easiest! No cutting!

The secret to the crust tasting yummy is to use milk instead of water and you have have have to use corn oil. All other oils don't have the right flavor.

Ok there's my deal. I couldn't stand for pie knocking without speaking up! Go pies!

posted by mearph on November 6th 2008 at 11:29am
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I'm new here, and until this summer was alsopastry phobic. I bought pastry shells when I made pie with the apology that Tenderflake did a better job of it than I could. But, this summer I discovered a fool-proof pastry recipe from Cook's Illustrated made with vodka! Easy to roll out, tender and flaky. Yum. I now make my own pastry and it's much better than Tenderflake! I've since passed the recipe on to friends and they too have had success. Happy baking.

posted by CZ on November 6th 2008 at 8:46pm
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Less whining! More PIE!

posted by KrapArtist on November 24th 2008 at 10:07pm
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