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There are tons of vegan cupcake recipes out there.
Also check out this site for a bunch of veg friendly desserts!
http://www.chooseveg.com/vegan-dessert-recipes.asp

You can always just use whole wheat flour in place of white flour in recipes too. Also, using apple sauce instead of oil in cake recipes works great too.

that olive oil cake (omg, it's good!) would be absolutely delicious with roasted stone fruit. if your friends eats and enjoys honey, add some to the fruit with a touch of lemon zest!

I agree with the poached fruits--especially quince! So yum! All of those fruits with plain Greek yogurt are nice.

I like this Lemon Yogurt Mousse (but be sure and half the lemon juice--otherwise it's too tart! and you can cut way back on the sugar or use agave or honey or another natural sweetener), which is super light and good for you and pretty set in wine glasses with fruit for dessert.

I know you say she doesn't eat fat, but will she eat cheese, like a nice goat cheese (which is lower in fat than a lot of cheese plate options)? Goat cheese, some toasted walnuts, and dates are a nice combo for dessert...

Ah! Olive oil cake! Great idea, especially with the fruit. I knew you Kitchn folks would have the answer. I think that would go over very well with the peaches in white wine. Mmmm...

Grilled peaches or pineapple are always a big hit. If it's too cold outside you can do it on a foreman. Serve with cheese and honey on the side. Yum.

Blend some really good ricotta with really good cocoa powder (like Dagoba) and a bit of honey. Top with chopped walnuts or hazelnuts. It's kind-of like chocolate pudding but easier and more healthy if you use a low fat ricotta.

Carrot cake is really good if you sub olive oil for the canola and whole wheat flour doesn't seem to hurt it any. The frosting will probably cause problems, though.

Oh! sjbreeze's comment just reminded me, there's a "chocolate pudding" recipe I just love. Take a package of silken tofu, drain it and dump it in a blender. Add melted chocolate (I just used nestle chocolate chips, about 10oz) and sweetener to taste. Whir until it's smooth, then put it into pretty dishes and chill until it's set. It's delicious.

baked apples or pears with cinnamon and a few nuts and/or cranberries - no sugar needed!

GRILLED STONE FRUIT WITH JUST BANANA "ICE CREAM"! The ice cream recipe is on here somewhere. Just chop up bananas and freeze for and hour and then blend in food processor!

This Apple Ginger Stack Cake http://bit.ly/328qRq could work, or maybe these Brown Puffed Rice Treats http://bit.ly/u6akQ.

Is your friend vegan? Her list of restrictions reminds me of the way I used to have to explain my food needs, since, sadly, a lot of people don't realize that "no animal products" means much more than just "pick the chicken parts out of the chicken soup." It could also explain why she needs to pick the wine (isinglass).

101cookbooks.com has a lot of recipes that are healthy/vegan or offer modifications. My favorite (not at all fancy) safe-bet is her peanut butter cookies (whole wheat flour, natural pb, maple syrup, olive oil, no eggs, no butter, but really the best pb cookies I've ever had). You could also serve something piecemeal like a simple baked fruit plus side options of toasted nuts, shortbread cookies, and vanilla ice cream to please everyone.

This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but we like to serve a cheese and fruit tray after a meal. I'm gluten-intolerant and not big on sweets anyway, so I find this works. We hunt down two small wedges of cheese, one hard and one soft, that are each under $3-$4, and fill the rest of the plate with seasonal fruit (baked pears or apples, poached peaches in wine, etc.), nuts (pecans, almonds, and walnuts all work well), and a small ramekin of honey. It's pretty communal and feels super luxurious/indulgent. You have maximum control over the price, and you won't mind the leftovers.

It's great to be a health nut, but it's also great to allow oneself to enjoy dessert once in a while. Many of us do need to eat it less frequently, but if you wanted to bring dessert to my house for a special dinner the only requirement I would have would be my own requirement to say, "Thank you very much"

@Charlotte: Thank you.

There are some great ideas, here, but I think Charlotte says it best. Being gracious and polite seem to have taken a back seat to food preferences. I remember my mom always saying to eat what I was served when I was a guest, even just a little bit, to be polite. Obviously, if there are allergies or other medical to consider (or belief systems), by all means be scrupulous (my father-in-law has coeliac disease, so I understand the importance), but if it's a fad or a mild dislike, I say eat it and smile.

I hosted a dinner party where one guest was vegetarian but ate fish, another guest didn't eat fish, one was lactose intolerant, and one didn't eat "funny vegetables" (i.e. any vegetables). I managed to whip up a chickpea curry, but it was quite stressful to coordinate.

Good on you Amber, for making an effort - I hope your friend realises how lucky she is. My pick would be a platter with fresh fruit, dark chocolate, cheese, and crackers, so everyone could pick and choose what they wanted.

I'm not a vegetarian nor do I only eat organic, in fact I'm a pretty flexible eater. But, I find it sad to call someone who doesn't want to eat processed crap a health nut, and act like they have a problem. Processed wheat and sugars are actually really bad for us and are at the root of the obesity epidemic. We would all be wise to take heed - even be thankful - when one of our friends insists that we eat well while in her presence. Sort of like not smoking in someone's house who doesn't smoke.

Baked apples stuffed with brown sugar, walnuts and cognac. To capture the lovely caramelized sugar, place a piece of bread (whole grain or not depending on taste).

My host in Paris made this for me when I was on a study aboard and it was wonderful.

Amen to home body's comment. There isn't anything I won't eat, but to call anyone who chooses to eat healthy a "nut" is too much. (Curious why the guest needs to "impress" her, too.) There are a LOT of options for desert, but is there anything better than perfect fruit? Be careful wrt super sweet deserts- her palate is probably not as desensitized to massive amounts of sugar.

I used to eat a very simple, relatively healthy dessert when I lived in France that consisted of homemade applesauce (no added sugar), served warm, and topped with a giant merigue that was divided up among the plates. though merigues tend to have a lot of sugar, your hostess could skip it or just take a very small sample.

I think it is very considerate of you to make an effort ot accomodate her diet choices. hey, it only makes you get creative! and if, despite your best efforts, she is less than satisfied with the healthiness of your dessert, she can certainly politely decline to partake. just don't make a fuss about why or feel offended that you 'failed'. while it is polite when attending a dinner party to try to at least sample what is offered, no one is ever obligated to eat everything.