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i agree with the person who submitted the question... unless you asked them to specifically bring it for the meal then it is not necessary to open.

I actually usually ask. "Is this for tonight or is this for us to put away?" seems to do the trick. I know many times I will either bring a decent bottle for drinking at the time, or if it's a special occasion and as a gift to the host, I may buy a very good bottle and have them put it away for themselves for later.

I think it's nice to ask the giver if you should open it now.

Since I regularly show up with wine, I've been asked that many times, and depending upon the size and tone of a party, my answer as varied from, "I'll get the corkscrew," to, "We'll get to it later, what's already open?", to, "Nah, hang on to it. I'll grab us each a Miller Lite."

I spent several hours browsing through a collection of Miss Manners columns a week or two ago, and in the midst of detailed descriptions of dinner party etiquette, she says explicitly that one need not open bottles of wine received at a dinner party. The gift is just that -- a gift -- and can be opened then if it fits with the meal, or saved for later.

Of course, I think akay and kimmyt's suggestions are reasonable, and make sure that no matter what happens, your guests will be happy. Which is what etiquette is more or less about, anyway.

i agree with akay... i've asked folks before if they wanted it open right away... generally, my wife and i are bigger wine snobs than our friends, so i'd often prefer to open the wine people bring instead of the stuff on our rack...

the flip side, is that most of the time i bring wine to other parties it is a wine i'd like to try, so i attempt to get to it the night we're visiting... of course, sometimes it is certainly just a gift and something i'm not overly concerned with opening.

Isn't it more rude for a guest to expect the bottle to be opened at the party? (1) "Here's a gift. Now let me drink it." (2) "Here's some wine. I know you have already picked something that will go with the meal you are serving, but I don't care. Open something random."

You're right, Faith, as are others. It's your gift to open as you choose -- you can choose to open it immediately, or in an hour if you have bottles already open.

That can be awkward, but I feel like bringers of wine should anticipate it going either way and that it's the host's call... it is a gift afterall.

On a recent holiday, my boyfriend too a really nice bottle to a friend's parents' celebration with the intention of it being opened and shared that evening, but it was swiftly whisked away to be saved. Unfortunately he was looking forward to trying it and was disappointed, but of course didn't want to be rude. I think he learned his lesson, and now brings bottles without any expectation. If it gets opened, it's just a bonus.

Also, my step-grandparents are wine people, and whenever they receive a bottle they write the name of who gave it to them and the date on the back using a silver sharpie, so they can toast that person when it is opened. I think it's a pretty nice tradition.

It really depends on whether the wine is meant as a gift to thank the host/hostess for their hospitality or if it intended to be as part of the meal. If ever in doubt, be a gracious host and put the question to your guest. If s/he is really worth their salt they'll let you know that the wine is a gift and not expected to be opened that evening unless the hosts' choose.

If you bring wine as a gift, it's a gift. There should be no assumption that you'll get to drink it. It's rude to want to enjoy a gift you've given (as m_j_s72 pointed out), and it assumes that the host hasn't put thought into what they're serving to complement the meal they've prepared.

If you want to bring wine to drink with the meal, the best way to approach this is to arrange to bring wines that work with what they're serving. The same as offering to bring a dessert. And then, bring enough to serve to everyone.

I'm sure that we've all brought lovely bottles as a gift and then been served something not quite as tasty, but those are the breaks.

And let's not even mention those boors who take their bottle back after the night is over because it wasn't served while they were visiting.

While we're talking about wine manners, here's something that is definitely not ok: We brought a bottle of wine over to a friend's bbq, intending it as a hostess gift not necessarily to be opened at the party. It was later opened and finished by someone who tagged along to the party with an invited guest. Talk about classy.

I don't think bringing wine should be assumed as a gift. It depends on how the decision to bring the wine came about.

When people invite me over for dinner, I often ask what I can bring. If they say "wine," seems like the assumption should be it would be served (not that I really care).

Since that's what they ask me to bring, I check out what they are serving and find out what wine they think would be most appropriate.

i agree with everyone else--as the host, it's up to you when to open it and it's nice to ask the person who gave you the bottle so you can gauge the feeling.

however, as someone who is young, poor, and often hosting dinner parties, i can say that i often count on the wine that friends bring to parties to round out what we have to offer since we don't have the money to buy dozens bottles of wine for a young and thirsty crowd!

I always think of it as a gift to be opened later, but if you're interested in opening it up, by all means ask the giver.

As a guest, if I know the menu for the evening I'll pick something that would pair well, so if it is opened it will at least work with the meal. There have also been times when I've emphasized to our hosts that I've brought a really special bottle that should be tucked away for later. I never assume that I will get to drink any of it.

When I'm on the hosting side, I've usually already picked the wines to be served, but if a guest brings something that could match the food I'll ask if they want to open it up right away. I certainly don't mind if they want to enjoy it together--that's what wine is for, in my opinion.

I usually open it as I'm keen to have a drink by that time!

It seems to me that the giver should mention to the host that the bottle is meant to be a gift not the other way around. I think the hostess should not have to ask.

Having said that, bringing a bottle of wine is supposed to be a hostess gift unless the invitation said to bring wine as your meal contribution. In the later case, you may decide to add a little something as a hostess gift but it is not an obligation.

secretpicnic: thanks for the great idea to write the name of the giver and the date for later! I am SO doing that from now on.

Depends on # of guests, who the giver is, how much and what kind of wine you've got on hand, etc.

Thanks always works, and if you think you might want to open it that night, ask if it's for tonight or to store (even Robert Parker can't memorize every chateau/vineyard name, so it could be yellowtail quality or it could be margault level that needs 10 years in the cellar). The sharpie on the back label is a great idea.

A number of friends doing housewarmings turn them into cellar parties, with subtle (or not so subtle) requests for an aging worthy bottle. If you're newly moved and have wine geek or just thoughtful friends they're rather likely to have brought something that is simply undrinkable right now. Big, absurdly tannic reds or near vinegar acidic whites turn into beautiful things down the road but make 2 buck chuck taste like ambrosia when young, so you have to ask.

You open it if you need it. It's a gift. The host should really already have one bottle open, and when that bottle runs out--unless you're specially pairing the wine and food, and the gift wine will not match--the gift wine should be opened.

I was just reading an etiquette article about this, and they suggested writing on the label (or tagging it with masking tape, etc) who brought the wine and the date. That way if you don't get to it that night, you might serve it the next time the giver comes over. Seems like a thoughtful compromise to me!