Having food stuck in our teeth and not knowing is one of our worst nightmares. And when the offending bit of dinner is discovered hours later, there's the inevitable cry of anguish: "Why didn't anyone TELL me?!"
Etiquette: How To Tell Someone There's Food in Their Teeth
It's an awkward and tricky social situation, to be sure. Of course we want to be told if we have food in our teeth, but...it's embarrassing. And it's equally embarrassing to be the one to tell. Between friends and family, it's usually no big deal. But what if you don't really know the person? Or they're your boss? Or (gulp) you're on a date?
Manners expert Helena Echlin from Chow.com recommends being direct but discrete. Wait a few moments to see if the person catches it themselves, and then quietly draw their attention to the problem.
You can try communicating nonverbally by catching their eye and tapping your teeth (or touching your face to show where the errant piece of food has landed). If that doesn't work, a brief whispered message does the trick.
We also feel it's best to pass on the message and then carry on as if nothing happened. Start a conversation with your other dining companions to give the person a few moments to take care of things. Or if it's just the two of you, look away and then pick up where the conversation left off.
Most of the time, the person will be embarrassed but grateful for your intervention. After a few moments, the awkwardness inevitably fades and the night moves on.
How do you handle this situation?
• Read Helena Echlin's full article, "Is There Something in My Teeth?", on Chow.com
Related: Do You Share Food?
(Image: Flickr member greefus groinks licensed under Creative Commons)
Tags
Etiquette, Health, Entertaining, dinner party, mannersRelated Links
- Do's and Don'ts: Eating on Public Transit
- On Egg Salad (and Other Non-Traditional) Sandwiches for Breakfast
- Good Food with Evan Kleiman: When Do You Eat With Your Hands?
- Etiquette: How To Tell Someone There's Food in Their Teeth
- Proper Etiquette: Would You Serve Leftovers to Guests?
Share
Comments (8)
Weekly Email
Top Posts
Top Recipes
- Appetizer Recipe: Bacon-Wrapped Potato Bites with Spicy Sour Cream Dipping Sauce
- Weeknight Dinner: Quick Udon Noodle Soup
- Lobster to Sweet & Sour: How To Make 6 Stir-Fry Sauces
- Recipe: Baked Persimmons
- DIY Recipe: Pumpkin Spice Latte (Just Like Starbucks!)
Top Tours
- Daniel's Cure-Inspired Project
- Tamar's Labor of Love Renovation
- Kitchen Gallery: White, Bright, and Clean
- Jean Greenfield's Kitchen And Garden In San Anselmo
- Kitchen Spotlight: San Francisco Sleek Yet Vintage Re-Do
© 2009 Apartment Therapy
I always say something like "I would want to be told!" and then quickly tell them and give them a chance to get rid of it.
view katef's profile
I once had a girl come up behind me, tap me on the shoulder and tell me I had TP on my shoe. She said she would want to be told, too. I thanked her and after a moment of grateful emberassment went on with my day. Years later I'm remembering her kindness. So yeah, tell people these things.
I usually do the teeth tapping thing if it's friends or family and a quick "Excuse me, you have something in your teeth" and distract others if it's not.
view Tiamat_the_Red's profile
I always just casually mention it in conversation and then just move forward. That way everyone has acknowledged it, and if you make the person feel as though it's normal and nothing to be embarrassed about (whispering, hand signals), then they won't feel embarrassed. It's really not a showstopper, so don't treat it like one.
view amt230's profile
I just ask the person with the black pepper/bit of corn/leftover lunch in their teeth, "hey, is there something in my teeth?"
Ninety-nine percent of the time, they'll say, "No, what about me?" And there's your opening, and no one's the wiser.
view birdie_dc's profile
I once walked out of a dressing room with my dress tucked into my underwear. A bit more obvious that something in my teeth, but I'm glad a lady who worked there was brave enought to tell me!
Of course I would want to know if I have something in my teeth. Its best to bring it up as though its not funny at all.
view glojo's profile
I've never understood why this was an etiquette issue. I mean, I wouldn't exactly announce it to my boss during, say, a meeting, but I would not hesitate to tell her if I noticed. After all, I'd appreciate the same.
view chez shoes's profile
I think that I do not have good manners because whenever anyone tells me I laugh about it and am not embarrassed. I've never met anyone who it hasn't happened to before so it's not a big deal...more of a hazard of eating.
view avajames's profile
In a department store a lady came up close to me and said in a conspiratorial whisper "XYZ." I nodded in agreement, hiding my bewilderment, and sidled away only to be followed and have the cryptic message delivered a few more times. Finally she said in exasperation "examine your zipper!" Then I sheepishly thanked her.
view Kate (NC)'s profile