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My "rules" are that a "bite" be one bite and not an invitation to start eating my food and that the food be taken in a sanitary fashion.

My husband once allowed a friend to taste an expensive side dish (at her request) and after the taste, she just kept reaching over and eating the dish because she liked it so much. After she'd taken three more generous bites after the "taste" (and it was a small dish), he asked her to stop and she reacted very badly. She said she felt as though she were a child who just had her hand slapped.

It may be "OK" to say "no", but it won't be well-received, even when you've been more than generous with allowing someone to sample your food.

The fiance and I have this problem all the time. I come from a family who shares food, especially at restaurants, and his large family is very territorial when it comes to their personal plate of food. It's hard to break the habit of sharing food, because I love trying all different things and we don't go out to eat often at all. He relents and lets me have a bite sometimes, but refuses to try anything of mine on principle.

I share servings only with good friends and family, and unless it's something I really, really, really want to sample, I don't ask for a taste. Luckily, my friends and I understand the "wanna taste" bug, and we readily offer up tastes when we think something's worth sharing.

I am a sharer and a stealer. I always offer everyone at the table a bite of my meal. I hardly ever am able to finish anything myself anyways (after apps, salads, soups). If I don't offer a bite, that's how friends know I really love something.

I usually won't ask for a taste of someone else's dish unless they offer, and I'll only have a little bit.

The exception to that rule is french fries... if you got em and I don't, be prepared to share. (for people who don't want to share... I'll just order my own side order of fries)

The other exception is severe intoxication, under those circumstances I will eat my poor boyfriends entire meal out from under him if I like his better. Copper pot scallops in pernod from st. and co. in portland. Sorry baby.

This reminds me of my dad, who after a few years of military school where anytime you got something good you'd have a hundred people trying to sample it, refused to share anything, ever. Oddly, he has no problem with mooching off other people.

So long as he's not at the table, I've never had a problem sharing. There are certain people I'm more casual about sharing with than others.

I've got a trickier question though. My mom was once at a Chinese dinner where the food was served family-style. One of the people there started taking all the shrimp out of a stir-fry. How do you handle that?

@whytephoenix,
Being Chinese, family-style eating was the norm and there are "rules" to everyone happy. The cherry-picking (or should I say shrimp-picking) diner broke at least three of them.
1-you have to take anything that your chopsticks touch
2-only pick up items on your side of the serving dish (only works on a round table without a lazy susan)
3-don't take seconds from a dish until everyone has some first

Sadly, the rules are understood and rarely spoken. In your mom's situation, a Seinfeld-inspired move might be in order: "The ocean called, they're running out of shrimp!"

A lot of people knock the "small plates" concepts but to me it's the best way to eat.

Just let everybody order one or two things and share them family style when they come to the table.

This of course does not work for people with food issues, in which case, those people can order one or two things for themselves.

I'm OK with sharing as long as no one is sick. No sharing when you have a cold should be obvious, but it isn't always. I do prefer that someone asks before spearing. I take medicine based on how much food I eat, and I "measure" with my eyes. I need to take a moment to remeasure if any food leaves my plate without going to my own mouth.

Hi there
I am new to this community. I thought this was a really interesting issue. Does anyone notice the cultural differences in food sharing etiquette??

I am half Irish and half Greek and I live in Ireland. In Ireland, people have their own plates and its very much: check first if you want to taste something. There is a certain awkwardness each time whilst people negotiate things like deciding whose fork will go into the food or will a portion be forked out for the taster.

In Greece, people dig into salads and other dishes. If one person ordered the salad, its still communal, everyone will split the bill equally anyway. Dipping a piece of bread on a fork into the salad dressing at the bottom, leaning over and grabbing a condiment or hunk of bread without saying excuse me...its normal. People are too busy having noisy discussions.

I have a German boyfriend and I have learnt about food etiquette in Germany too. Food sharing isnt something that happens in Germany but they would lean over and grab a condiment across the table without excusing themselves. Its a rude gesture with Germans, with Greeks, its because everyone is too busy forking food into their mouths and joining in with the conversation as well. Irish people would wait for a break in the conversation and ask for it to be passed to them. In Germany, people dont talk too much at meals. Its something kids are taught when they are young, that you will choke on your food if you try to eat and talk at the same time. In that same spirit of silence, they dont ask for the condiments from each other, they reach across. Meals are solitary even if they are in the company of others.

I am bit of all three and I adopt different etiquette in different situations. Family is family, we share the same germs its not a problem to dig into each other's food and nicking a chip is fine. My boyfriend always helps me out with finishing my meals in restaurants and he always uses his own knife and fork and puts the plate in front of him, instead of eating it off my plate when it is still in front of me. In Greece, forks and spoons are the only utensils and bread helps, so people rip bread off a communal loaf and fork pieces of meat from other people's plates to try something.

When people are sick, no sharing is advisable but other then that, its fine by me.

When I'm having dinner with a friend, I usually ask if they're a "taster". I typically share meals with the same 6 or 8 people, so have gotten to know their quirks. One friend does NOT like it when people eat off her plate, but will hack off a chunk no problem. I find the best way to approach these social situations is to make a joke: "Hey Germaphobe, bust me off a piece of that ceviche, I wanna taste!"