apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time


Dinner Party Strategy: Dealing with Early-Arriving Guests

2009-05-20-EarlyArrivingGuests.jpgRight when you're simultaneously scrambling to finish up the last few dishes, set the table, and make yourself look presentable, it's inevitable that at least one of your guests will arrive early. What do you do with these early-arriving guests so you're not thrown off your game completely? Well, here are a few strategies:

 
 

How you deal with early arriving guests often depends on the particular guest. Play to their strengths - Are they social? Good in the kitchen? Adept at mixing cocktails? Set them up with a task that fits their personality and helps them feel welcome:

Put Them to Work - Most of the time, guests are aware that they're early and that you might not quite be ready. We find that these guests are more than willing to pitch in to finish up the last details. You can ask them to light the candles, open the wine, toss the salad, or some other small task that keeps them occupied while you finish up everything else.

Make Them the Greeter - Ask your early-arriving guest if they might like to open the door for other early arriving guests. They can pour wine, dig in to appetizers, and keep each other entertained for a few minutes.

Let Them Hang Out - If you can cook and talk at the same time, give your early arriving guest a glass of wine and let them hang out with you in the kitchen. Often this quiet one-on-one time is a nice way to begin a party.

Have Them Choose the Music - If you're not particular about the music for the evening, hand them your iPod or point them to your CD collection and let them go at it! You can give them some direction about the kind of mood you'd like to have during the evening or just see what they come up with themselves!

Invite a Designated Early-Arriving Guest - If you're throwing a large party or you have a feeling you might be rushing to finish up, it can be helpful to ask one of your guests to arrive a half hour early to help out with the surprise early-arrivers. For us, this is usually a close friend who won't mind being put to work and one is naturally social.

What are your strategies for guests who arrive early?

Related: Easy Entertaining: Five Simple Tips for Plating Food

(Image: Flickr member Carolyn Coles licensed under Creative Commons)

Comments (17)

Put them to work. You know it is going to happen. Have a job designated for whoever shows up before everyone else.

posted by kmarie on May 20th 2009 at 8:39am
view kmarie's profile

If it's family and they are more than 15 minutes early, make them wait outside.

posted by travers on May 20th 2009 at 8:45am
view travers's profile

if they're way early, i might send them out for another bottle of wine or something.

posted by thinkingwoman on May 20th 2009 at 8:55am
view thinkingwoman's profile

we don't have any friends that are early to anything... this problem seems so unbelievable foreign to me...

we're more familiar with the "what do you do when everyone is at least 45 minutes late?" i always wait to put things out, and then it looks like I'm unprepared...

posted by TDS7 on May 20th 2009 at 9:06am
view TDS7's profile

We have a mutual agreement with a set of friends where we swap being the first ones to each others houses. It really cuts back on that awkward first half hour.

posted by cakekick on May 20th 2009 at 9:24am
view cakekick's profile

So formal. I just say "come over whenever" and am happy to have them help out or just relax and talk while I finish up if they are "early." I tend not to have an awkward first half hour with my friends or family, though.

posted by amt230 on May 20th 2009 at 10:00am
view amt230's profile

make them wait outside? seriously? seriously? travers, please never invite me over for dinner. even if we're family.

put them to work. chat and cook. have them go out for a bottle of wine. but please do not leave them waiting on your doorstep.

posted by kaitlin on May 20th 2009 at 10:07am
view kaitlin's profile

that's why you always get yourself ready first: it's less embarrassing to be finishing the appetizers when someone arrives that to e getting dressed or putting on your makeup.

posted by foodefafa on May 20th 2009 at 10:36am
view foodefafa's profile

I put them to work, or set them up with a glass of wine in the kitchen to entertain me while I finish prep. Generally, my parties involve good food, so I'm usually still plating by the time the first guest arrives.

posted by bfootnovellista on May 20th 2009 at 11:08am
view bfootnovellista's profile

Often, my guests arrive in groups so they can entertain each other. If not, they can hang out with me in the kitchen but I don't often have this problem. People are usually headed from a long way away and hit traffic or get lost or something and arrive late.

posted by Tiamat_the_Red on May 20th 2009 at 11:16am
view Tiamat_the_Red's profile

I just think it's rude, that's all. There is nothing wrong with being 10-15 minutes early if you miscalculated travel time. But if I give you an invitation with a set time, not just a casual "come around 6 or so" then I don't expect you until then.

posted by travers on May 20th 2009 at 11:35am
view travers's profile

This used to irk me to no end as entertaining used to stress me out. Luckily the only people who came early were family members (notably, my parents and my in-laws; is it a generational thing?). But after enough "complaints" on my end, they know better and unless I specifically ask my mom to come early to help out (handy to have an extra set of hands to deal with my daughter) then I rarely get people coming over early. Most are right on time which is nice. But, as I've gotten more comfortable with having people over, I would just get the party started that much earlier: pouring wine, offering appetizers, etc. I'm pretty organized so an early body or two wouldn't ruin the vibe.

posted by rosebud on May 20th 2009 at 12:04pm
view rosebud's profile

One of my best friends and I are each others 'early guest'. Partially because we have very different social groups. We've known each other since we were 16, and enjoy hanging out but she is very active in her (fairly conservative) church and doesn't drink, whereas I am a godless liberal who likes to party the night away.

So we usually end up leaving each others parties fairly early, (there is only so long I can sit at an ice cream social where I'm not allowed to cuss, and she doesn't enjoy being around my drunken idiot friends).

But we do this more because we enjoy spending a little private time together to talk before everyone else gets there, and don't mind doing dirty work for each other. I'll help her make the salad, pick out her outfit, move the furniture, take out the trash, scrub behind the toilet bowl whatever needs to be done, and then leave unfashionably early once the real guests have arrived.

posted by Rolen the Great on May 20th 2009 at 12:28pm
view Rolen the Great's profile

If you live in Miami, there is no such thing as an early guest. If your dinner party starts at 7:30, guests rarely arrive before 8.

posted by Cindy C on May 20th 2009 at 1:02pm
view Cindy C's profile

Depends on if it's a casual gathering or a formal one. I had a guest arrive to a party once nearly an hour early and I was still in rollers and undies. It wasn't a close friend and it was a small apartment. Very awkward. Otherwise, these days, I entertain very casually and friends arrive when they arrive. Sometimes it's early and we have a drink or I give them some small task. Usually however, to cut down my anxiety level, I try to have everything ready about 30 minutes before I expect anyone and that gives me some winddown time to relax and destress before everyone arrives.

posted by mntwmyn on May 20th 2009 at 4:19pm
view mntwmyn 's profile

I'm inevitably running late when guests come over, so most people are used to the drill: quick peck on cheek, I direct boyfriend to play bartender, park guest on couch, urge kitties to look ultra-cute, set out hors d'oeuvre. Conversation ensues, as it's a small, open space. It works for most situations!

http://www.abreadaday.com

posted by eprewitt on May 20th 2009 at 4:39pm
view eprewitt's profile

But Travers, the fact that your guests are "being rude" in your eyes, does that justify your being rude right back? I think that would set a horrible tone for a dinner party, being told to wait outside.

posted by kaitlin on May 21st 2009 at 12:24pm
view kaitlin's profile